this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2024
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[–] AmericaDeserved711@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

these things are surprisingly easy to solve but the end result is NOT worth it

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] frauddogg@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

Best weekend of my life; got another appointment scheduled for next weekend. Cenobites really know how to stretch a fellow out.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Look at this spooky necklace a traveling fortune teller gave me!

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 14 points 1 month ago

That page where Griffith is like "isn't my freaky egg cool?" bruh-moment

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Let's put it in the box and see what happens!

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Sky getting pretty dark. Eclipse looking blood red. Weird people gathering in the lake!

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago

What a cute Christmas ornament!

[–] miz@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Okay so like, this family, a father, mom and daughter, move into their grandma's empty house, and discover that the Dad's weird Brother has been camping out there. It's established in a flash back that the Brother hooked up with the Mom right before she married the Dad and she's still kinda horny for him. Also the Brother was some kind of super crazy sex pervert who did so much sex pervert stuff that he felt he had exhausted all the pleasures the Earth had to offer and so bought some kind of demonic Rubik's cube from some dude cuz he heard a legend that if you solve it you gain access to some other dimension of pure pleasure. So he takes it to his grandma's house and solves it and it turns out it summons some fucked up torture demons who come from a dimension where pain and pleasure are the same thing so they just take him and torture him a bunch, but he sorta gets into it a bit, kinda. Also like he can't die so they just like torture him till he's a big pile of living viscera.

Anyway back in the present, the Dad accidentally spills some blood on the floor of of the room his Brother summoned the demons in and that allows the Brother to come back from the demon world, but he's still a living pile of guts. He is able to talk to his horny sister-in-law though and tells her he can become a normal dude again if he can drink a bunch of blood so she goes out and picks up dudes at bars and brings them back so the gross guts guy can eat them and become less gross. The daughter finds out about this and freaks the fuck out, steals the Rubik's cube and runs away, but passes out from how freaky it all is.

She wakes up in the hospital and solves the Rubik's cube and the demons show up and are like "sweet we can torture you till you're kinda into it" and she's like "I think you want my pervy uncle" and they're like "sure help us find him and we'll just torture him forever and he'll kinda be into it". So like she goes back home and her Dad's been killed by her sex pervert uncle but now he's wearing her Dad's skin and she summons the demons who they take both her perv Uncle and Mom away to torture land and she runs away and tries to throw the Rubik's cube away, but some weird hobo who's been in the background of the movie the whole time shows up and grabs it, turns into a flying demon, and brings it back to the merchant dude who gave it to the sex pervert Uncle guy in the first place and then he gives it to some other sex pervert guy.

The End.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

At least the Uncle and Mom can finally be together forever being tortured and kinda into it.

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 month ago

Be sure to open it in an attic

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That right there? That holds the heart of Lorkhan. You're going to need to whip up some Dwemer blood to get it open. If you can't find any, a mixture of Altmer, Bosmer, Dunmer, Falmer, and Orsimer blood will do the trick.

[–] frauddogg@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

No, no, that holds the Heart of Sabik. It is the Weapon's core─an enigma whose surface even the vaunted scholars of ancient Allag failed to scratch. The magic within has lain dormant for eons.

[–] OopsAllTwix@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Metallic rn, but I'm hoping there's candy inside!

Edit: IT WASN'T CANDY

[–] OopsAllTwix@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It looks like there's a hole on the right side. Can you stick something in there?

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago
[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whatcha think's inside? Think it's like a Wonder Ball?!

NATO. It's just NATO inside. And Peter Molyneux.

[–] Romeo@hexbear.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Romeo@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

I clearly need to watch some movies madeline-shock

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah, pawn it off... could cost like, what, a million in today's currency? kobeni-sweat

Or even send it to a museum...

[–] Moonworm@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

Looks like Forge, is actually Grail.

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

No it's a 1UP mushroom like in Mario