You're not getting paid for this. You're not even a volunteer. You're doing this (presumably) for recreational purposes--because it makes you feel good. You don't owe anyone anything. Disengage when you're not getting what you want out of it.
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
74 points (97.4% liked)
askchapo
22766 readers
422 users here now
Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.
Rules:
-
Posts must ask a question.
-
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
-
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
-
Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
Nope. Never too early, if you know you're dealing with some peckerwood smuggard what won't be turfed out, it's easier to just shut their shit down from the jump. "No, I'm not interested in discoursing with you, go away."
I think it has its place. We're a small community, i see the same names around. I've seen op plenty for example, and subjectively never seen you use it. I've parsed it as "something to use when I've got my hackles up with someone i otherwise like."
To the point on people using it to get a lady word in, I've used "disengage" like once myself when i got too hot in here, dunno if i used good tone when i dropped it but disengage per se is neutral
so i kinda ended up vomiting some personal stuff here so uh just a heads up
i used to be kind of a huge dickhead. i mean, i've got a bunch of Brain Problems & I think my egg was starting to crack, so i ended up having this stupid reactionary phase that just feels super surreal when i think about it. but i think about it a lot, because my favourite pastime was yelling at strangers online. i was actively feeding my anger because it was basically the only thing i had. i think about it a lot, because i must remember that i had completely lost track for a while there. & now my brother is going through the same thing, except it's far worse because of the post truth bullshit. his 
are only getting worse. like, what am i supposed to say if someone says it's a proven fact that women have never been treated as lesser BUT ALSO that women only have rights because men gave it to them 
sorry. this is kind of a long ramble. but the point is, all this stuff has kinda led me to taking a more passive role in my interactions. i disengage & block v often because my being upset is a full body experience. i know i need to curate my media consumption with my mental wellbeing in mind, so even if a comment is pissing me off because i 200% know they're full of shit, i just move on, because it doesn't matter what i say to a person whose worldview is all vibes / projection. they see themselves as the Good & Reasonable People, so naturally anything that challenges their views sets them off. they're just not playing by the same rules at all & i'd rather use my energy on something constructive instead. there must be millions of people like i used to be & i gotta understand that not all of them can be helped.
i'm just so fucking tired.
ENGAGE
Don't waste your life energy on random internet users.
Also consider that like 90% of the internet is bots at this point, some (let's be real, most) of which are deliberately designed to manipulate you or make you angry.
I suspect that even on lemmy, the more populous instances are filled with bots. Not the more tightly moderated ones, like this one tho.
I think the only time I'd raise an eyebrow would be if the disengage was the first reply to a comment (three comments total: yours, the reply to your comment, then your reply containing "disengage").