You can say no: to volunteer work, to events you don't want to go to, to doing favors to people. The power of no is amazing
Asklemmy
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
Avoid subscription services. You may pay more short term, but you won't have to remember to cancel anything
Build up a routine of scheduled exercise. It's amazing when you get deep into a job how little time you have, and it's easy to put exercise to the wayside. Make it part of your schedule when it's flexible, and then hold it when it becomes difficult. Exercise has massive outside benefits to overall health mood etc
Yes! I got a stationary bike and set it up with a view of the TV. Now instead of just sitting on the couch watching TV I at least get exercise doing it.
cook for yourself at least once a week. Not only is it a good skill to keep polished, you get great control over what you're actually eating. Keeps you grounded to society, the cost of primary prices, and you can compare kitchen costs versus restaurant cost easily. It keeps you involved in society.
Nice to hear it not framed around health only, for once. From most advice it is seemingly impossible to live a healthy life if you dont cook yourself six days a week. Which seems ridicilous. Particularly for one who doesnt enjoy cooking (even though I do know how to cook decent meals).
Wish there was restaurants around here that was more like mess halls, priced at a level everyone could afford to eat at every day, made from healthy local ingredients, shared tables, no attempt at "mood" or theme, no waiters, you get whats served today and no alternatives except for those with particual dietary needs. I ate at the local poor-house once and it was almost what I would have wanted if they just got rid of the preacher and added a payment terminal. I heard those kinda eateries were common back around the early 1900. Why we at some point decided that everyone should mostly cook their own meals, or buy over-salted pre-made meals, and that restaurants should either be a luxury and involve a lot of waiting for a table and a waiter and the meal and the oversized bill and the waiter again to pay, or be fastfood so unbalanced that nobody should really eat it daily.
Use a virtual credit card when signing up for subscription services. Set the recurring amount at just enough to cover the trial amount, and then once the subscription fee goes up it'll notify you if you wish to continue paying for it. You can increase the limit if you want to keep the service, or just let the card decline until the service is cancelled. Most credit cards have virtual cards as an option, but I also use app.paywithextend.com
Except for special cases, you don't actually have to do a task fully. You can pick at it as you go.
For example, i almost never do all the dishes at once. I just do 1-2 when i pass by the kitchen and i have a minute or two to spare. Without even realizing it or barely feel the energy or the time used, the task is either done or it is much smaller and more manageable.
This can apply to most adulting tasks by my experience.
If you can optimise those by doing small task while waiting, e.g. when the microwave/oven is running, while you're watching TV etc. then you can effectively do chores without losing time as well
I found this out when i had cancer and taking care of the kids. No time for making extra time for tasks; so combining was a necessity. waking up, bring the laundry basket down the hall to the kitchen, make breakfast for kids, when going to the garage to take the kids to school bring basket on the way to laundry room. Getting home toss laundry in. when heading out to pick kids up switch them to the dryer. come back bring basket off dried stuff back in to room. Other stuff like fold towels while sitting on toilet.
A recent one I found: If you get a pain in your back that returns whenever you walk.. Take a trip to the wildest wilderness you can reach without needing to walk there, then start walking on uneven terrain. It is a huge difference on the muscles the body need. And just a forest path with a few roots isnt enough. Get off the path. Take the harder route. And be careful to not hurt yourself, of course.
Is that just to work out your core muscles? Because these easier ways to work them out.
Yeah, basically that's what they're suggesting. Work on strengthening your stabilization muscles.
Im no physician, I dont know.
My chiropractor made a small suggestion that a walk in the forest could help, and I discarded it because I was already "walking in the forest" a lot. Except I kept to the well-trodden paths. And I walked on asphalt to get to the forest. And it didnt really help. And the exercises he told me to do at home didnt really do much.
Mise en place really helps my adhd brain with cooking. Prepping while managing the stovetop stresses me out unless itβs during a long simmer.
Get a vpn and torrent to your hearts content. The subscription services are too fractured. Iβve got Jellyfin, audiobookshelf, and mealie self hosted
If you want a rower go with the concept2. Itβs the gold standard for indoor rower and they hold their value. I prefer going moderate effort long distance because then that time can be doubled up as audiobook/tv time
Edit: Besides exercise, which would ideally be a mix of cardio and strength work, make stretching a part of your routine. At least a few times a week. I mainly target the hamstrings and hip flexors
If you can't find the motivation to start doing a lengthy task (like cleaning the house, gardening, or working on a project), force yourself to do it only for 30 minutes. It's not an unreasonably long time. By the end, you'll either have gained enough momentum to keep going and finish it, or if not, you've still made 30 minutes of progress.
Manage your email. Unsubscribe from everything that hits your inbox you don't want. Mark emails as read even if you don't read them. Automate tagging. Write rules to move things automatically out of your inbox to a different folder. Put time sensitive emails on your calendar. And above all else, use the archive and trash. Keep your inbox clean!
Unsubscribe is your friend.
FOMO is a marketing strategy.
We want to stay in your inbox so we can temp you on big marketing days.
Use the vibrator around the thighs and top of the pelvis. Tease it
Similar; caress all around the boob, getting close to the nipple on occasion but not actually touching it. Tease it.
If you want something, ask for it. A raise? A date ? Help? Advice? Wanna do something else in your company? Need a sport buddy?
90% of times the reason one doesn't get what they want is because they don't ask.
I asked and got all the above... Well the date not on first try π
As a person who manages people, I cannot fight for your raise if YOU don't fight for your raise.
I cannot tell you how many times where something like this happens. I tell my higher ups, "Sarah should get promoted and increase her salary" and then my bosses go up to Sarah and she responds all limpdick like, "I like my job and I'm happy."
God damn it Sarah! Flex a little. Talk about how you see a opening you want. Stop being a keyboard warrior on Work Reform and actually SAY IT OUT LOUD. Share your wins! Brag about your value to the company. Demand your worth to MY BOSSES TOO.
It's not a single person who makes these decisions. It's multiple people.
Nobody is going to hand you shit if you're timid about it.
Never leave without an appointment. When doing routine things like the dentist or yearly car inspection make the next appointment on your way out. If booking your next dentist visit 6 months out you get your choice of any time you like. Just stick it in your calendar and move on.
The career you chose out of high school doesn't have to be the one you do until you retire and you can also very easily go back to school if you are ever unsatisfied with your path.
Sometimes it just takes a bit of time and experience for you to find your passion and with it your skills to really blossom.
I, for instance started with veterinary nursing, but ended up in mech/elec. engineering and will be taking classes on the side for it.
Very true, more people should follow their dreams.
I know a guy who was kind of forced into an IT university. His parents thought it would be a good fit, as he likes computers and videogames.
He one day decided to quit and took some time off and started working in some fancy hotel kitchen as a temp job, while spending some time away from the family. Fast forward a couple years, he is now in culinary school and wants to become a chef. Needless to say he is happier and visibly has a better mental health as before.
For every service you sign up to .... phone company, subscription, gas company, water service, electricity, whatever ....
... always ask if you can get a discount or a better price.
Don't be embarrassed to ask. No one cares. We just build a culture around the hope that no one will ever ask for a better price and negotiate. The rep your talking to doesn't care about you and doesn't care about the company .... they might be having a bad day and won't care about helping you .. or they might be having a good day and they know an inside method or option to save you something ... or they might be facing losing their job so they figure out a way to save you a ton of money.
I got a banking service a few weeks ago and they gave me a price for a subscription .... I knew it was a sham but it was a service I needed ... I asked for a discount from the Filipino rep who spoke bag English ... she went off for five minutes and came back with a 60% discount.
Sometimes these businesses set their prices high and just hope that no one will ask for a different price .... because most people never ask.
I've been calling SiriusXM satellite radio every 6 months for their discount. Here's their regular prices:
If you speak to the rep ask them about the 6 months car+app deal for $30, after taxes and fees it's like $34 for 6 months. They put you on full price auto pay at the end of 6 months but set a reminder to cancel, wait a few days, then call and ask for the 6 month deal again. It's worked the last 6 years.
It not too late to learn a new skill or pick up a new hobby. If you hear of something that sounds fun, dive in!
Toilet roll under if you have a cat or pet who likes to rip off bits of them.
Toilet roll over for everything else.
Take magnesium to combat the slow and steady buildup of muscle tension thatβs ruining your mental health.
Listen, don't interrupt a conversation with stuff about you. Take the time to listen to them and ask questions, it goes a long way.
I've started to have such a massive problem around this one lately. I'm a good, maybe even great listener, and when I'm with another good listener, some real nice and deep conversations emerge, which I really treasure.
The problem is that the amount of other good listeners around me has shrunk to nearly no one, and I feel myself completely squeezed out of every conversation I engage in. Even a one-on-one dialogue can turn into a monologue where I'm not able to fit in more than a syllable here and there.
It's really deteriorating my self esteem and level of happiness. Really feels like not even my closest friends and family give a shit about any part of my life or my person.
If you have to deal frequently with toilets with flush sensors at your office (or really any public restroom), you've probably been grossed out by them flushing (and spraying water at you) before you're ready.
As an adult, I learned that handle-adjacent sensors can be dealt with by hanging TP over them, and won't flush until you remove it as you're leaving the stall. Wall sensors (like one infamous office toilet I deal with) can be handled with a post it note placed over the sensor; I keep some at the office just for this purpose. In an emergency, sometimes spit-dabbing a piece of TP can stick it to the wall over the sensor, but this isn't as reliable.
Just get into these habits when you use sensor toilets, and you'll never have to worry about disgusting flush spray from prematurely flushing public toilets ever again.
Budget. Donβt need to be fancy. But build a view on the things that youβll need to pay for over the year (Christmas, birthdays, holidays, car service, boiler service etc) and actually put money aside every month to pay for those things. Nothing beats the adult feeling of βyes, Iβll just pay for this thing here from this envelope and doneβ.
Try to think of something for which you are grateful every day. I have a reminder on all my devices for this daily and I think of three things.
Dunno if that will work in every country, but in Brazil, an easy way to get a discount for your home internet is calling and asking to cancel your line. They will offer a deal. I've heard, but have not tried myself, that if you refuse this first offer, they will later attempt a second, better offer.
Learn internet pirating skills. Nowadays it's mostly about knowing which sites can be trusted and having patience. Or just download telegram and look for channels and groups, I suspect it's a lower risk of being caught even in the USA without a VPN, though that may change soon.
Do some 10-15 second stretches often, every 2-4 hours or so. Can help with localized pains and in keeping them away. Physiotherapy and all that.