this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Final Fantasy XI

Final Fantasy XI is the eleventh numbered installment in the… Okay, you know what it is, I’m just going to tell you about one of the storylines!

During the Wings of the Goddess expansion, adventurers will be sent back in time to experience the events of the Crystal War, a cataclysmic event that is the foundation for conflicts of the modern-day timeline. Should an adventurer choose to serve the Kingdom of San d’Oria, they will be immersed in the story of the Young Griffons—a group of children who would see themselves knights, many of whom grow into prominent characters later in life.

Among the Young Griffons, the player will find Bistillot, a shy boy who doesn’t like to be seen. With his penchant for engineering, shy demeanor, and lack of combat potential, Bistillot prefers to spend his time inside of an orcish war machine that he was able to repair to working condition.

He is often seen before he is heard, with his signature phrase, “HAAAALLOOOOOOOOO” being used to hail the adventurer. Through the course of the story, Bistillot finds his way, even contributing to the war effort with his engineering skills.

However, when another member of the Young Griffons is kidnapped and taken to the present day, the adventurer must return to the present day and reunite with the Young Griffons’ present selves! The adventurer’s first contact in the present day is Bistillot. When the adventurer hears the signature “HAAAALLOOOOOOO,” Bistillot approaches the player, but what the player sees is… a woman?? She introduces herself as Bostilette, a “friend of Bistillot.”

After the rescue mission, Bostilette comes clean. She is, of course, the very same Bistillot who was a little boy twenty years earlier. She explains that she was very sick as a baby, so her parents gave her a boy’s name so that she would be stronger and survive the illness. Once she overcame the illness, she was comfortable to reclaim her name and gender. Well, that closes the book on that story, except… I’ve decided that’s bullshit!

I have unilaterally decided that Bostilette is trans, the sickness she had was dysphoria, she stayed in the orcish war machine because she was an egg, and I hope you all agree!

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[–] Luna@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

Now that I have 2 names, I find genuine enjoyment in having them chat with each other in my head, like a simulation.

What if everything is just a simulation and we're in the matrix or something?

[–] 0x2640@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

why do we bother

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have been practicing/learning the minecraft 1.16.1 speedrun recently. I've mostly been practicing my bastions, but I also did a bit of one cycling practice today.
(video might take time to load, I wasn't sure where else I could upload)

First success, only five beds too! Still a bit off from doing full game runs, but I was pretty happy with this.

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[–] Josephine_Spiro@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What is the difference between the 5 stripe and the seven stripe lesbian flags?

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

Ease of production lol

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[–] bubbalu@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

[venting, advice wanted] For the last two months, I been putting up an old friend from a punk house since I moved into my house and couldn't leave out my lease. This friend has a lot of energy and motivation issues, and generally needs a lot of support. Beyond putting him up, I helped him leave out the punk house we used to live in that was getting evicted, got him a storage unit, and have helped out with about an errand a week. I was the first person he saw when he woke up from top surgery. I thought we were tight.

I asked him if he would help me clean out the apartment since I had been putting him up and he basically shrugged me off. On top of that, now he's trying to change the timeline for getting out, but I need to do it this weekend when I am off work otherwise it will never get done. He knows this and we discussed it weeks ago.

Thankfully, some friends have agreed to put him up for a week as an 'off ramp' but it still feels like I am evicting him sort of.

I feel shitty because he don't have a real place to go in the city. At the same time, I have done as much as I can with the energy and time I have available. It also feels shitty that we would probably be better friends right now if I had just left him on the street.

Some help sensemaking is appreciated right now.

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[–] GayTuckerCarlson@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I just got Fallout NV for a pc for the first time

lea-finger-guns

What are some mods I should get?

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (5 children)

spoilerWake up, immediately dysphoric, scared, crying.

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[–] DeathToBritain@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] What_Religion_R_They@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

just remembered that i was joking about having the sticky out bits at the side in my hair like suletta (see picrel) a while back. and i realized that my dumbass has basically had this haircut since then because i keep trimming my hair "when it gets too long" (effectively i am perpetually keeping it in the awkward stage). is this profile picturative determinism?

now i just need to make the ahoge to complete my idiot transformation.

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Finished Gender Outlaws now I be thinking of buckets of gender, I don't think I can finish another book before my birthday tomorrowkitty-birthday-sad but glad I got through this one at least. Need to mind chew on some things for a bit will probably give it another listen later on since I also found the play part pretty entertaining Kate Bornstein's narration is pretty goated

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

yapping, body hairThere's a passage in Any Other City by Hazel Jane Plante that gives me pause, which is cool because the book is kind of boring and underwritten otherwise:

We were spooning. She was small spoon, even though she had a few inches on me. I kept glancing down at the stray hair spilling out of her armpit. It reminded me of the cover for Patti Smith’s Easter, where she’s raising one of her arms to reveal a small nest of hair in her armpit. In retrospect, that’s the one spot where I regret getting laser, because a thatch of armpit hair on a woman is actually really hot. It offsets the softness.

Based, by the way, if u even care, but I wish I had this cool and based view. I don't shave mine but I don't really have any sort of view on body hair, it's just kinda there. "Offsets the softness"?

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[–] Yor@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Outer Wilds really is like the best game ever. It just exists in my head like a thread I never get tired of pulling

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

dysphoria, self harm, si, just really struggling idkLast night was hell. This morning is more hell. I can't take it. This is all so stupid. I just can't. There's nothing to do. I'm scared. I feel hopeless.

I don't want to hit fat. I can't end up in the hospital.

This is just awful. No escape. No way to escape.

This is stupid, I don't understand why I'm flipping out like this or how to stop it. It just hurts. Everything hurts and I can't stop it. I don't know if things will ever be okay.

I can't take this pain.

editWell, self harm urges are gone for now. I don't feel amazing or anything but a lot better then I did earlier.

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[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Could low key use therapy but also I'm high key unable to talk about my feelings lea-tired

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kids across the street are explaining hawk tuah to their parents

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My brain has been extremely active lately, and so I waa thinking about the famous webnovel. No I have not read more, but months ago I made a big noise about a certain scene but did not reproduce it enough. Forgive me, I was not in the meow zone. Now that I am:

The scene of all time, from Unjust Depths 5.2 The Queen

Carmilla sat on the couch, and patted her hand at her side, urging Victoria to join her.

Smiling, Victoria took her place beside the Duchess. It was rare that she felt so comfortable.

She relaxed against the back of the couch and let her body lean against Carmilla’s side, feeling her warmth through her tight clothes. Victoria felt the Duchess’ hand settle on her shoulder first, and then glide up the nape of her neck, behind the back of her head, up to the base of her fluffy brown cat ears.

Victoria’s tail swayed contentedly as Carmilla’s fingers traced the firm cartilage.

Her fingers were so slender, so soft, brushing over the ear flap from the base to the tip.

Victoria’s whole body stirred as the duchess stroked her so gently.

She closed her eyes. From her chest, she let out a soft purr.

“How is this?” Carmilla asked.

A trimmed fingernail scraped where her ears met her head, delivering a rough sensation.

At first teasingly, but then with a firm and continuous rhythm.

Victoria’s hands kneaded on the couch. Her hips trembled. Tiny, almost surprised gasps escaped the Shimii’s lips. Carmilla teased her ears in the exact way that drove her mad.

First a scratch, then a firm rub from the fingertip, bending the ear; draw back for another scratch; repeat. Faster, building up heat each time. Victoria pressed her body against Carmilla’s, moaning gently.

“That’s what I love to see. My precious Varisha, in the glow of happiness.”

Hearing the Duchess’ voice cooing her secret name while scratching her ears, while feeling the warmth of her body and the firmness of her grip. It sent a thrill through Victoria’s chest and down her body.

“Call me by my special name, Varisha.”

In the midst of her passion, Victoria murmured it. “Mishagh–”

She felt Carmilla’s finger moving faster. “Beautiful. Such a good girl.”

Victoria’s tail shot straight up, quivering. She started to bow her head under the intensity of that touch.

The Duchess’ finger slid down Victoria’s ears a final time before lifting off of her head.

Victoria’s eyes drew wide with surprise. Carmilla took her by the waist, pulling her close.

“You’ll get more scritches soon. In the royal bed, next time.” She said, winking.

Carmilla’s finger traveled down Victoria’s cheek.

She lifted the Shimii’s chin and bent down to kiss her. Gentle, brief, but reassuring.

As their lips parted, Victoria’s head felt airy with contentedness.

“Soon.” Victoria cooed. She was letting herself be vulnerable. Letting herself savor it.

I would greatly prefer if Unjust Depths had more of this. Or, maybe if all of it was this. Perhaps there is related fanfic I should be reading, but my gay fiction is alarmingly lacking in meowing, I find.

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[–] HelltakerHomosexual@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

finally learning not to push myself into burnout and trying to work on myself bit by bit

imma get a therapist, thats my next goal, after that is another step and another.

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[–] Ambii@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

validity and body dysphoriaSome days I still wonder if I'm really trans or if I convinced myself of something something something.

Those same days I struggle to hold back tears as I stare at my own legs and compare them to my girlfriend's and think about how much hair removal I need to pass a vibe check in the mirror.

Such is life ig


In happier news I finished my last session of laser for this round and I'm really happy with the results. Gotta wait a few days or 2 weeks or so to let it grow out and see how it actually looks now so I can get a new referral. Gonna try and see if I can sneak the little hairs between my eyebrows as well as my sideburns in the referral.

[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (19 children)

What is happening in gender today, folks? leslie-shining

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