this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 96 points 10 months ago (1 children)

1950s jello cake ass food crime. Wtf

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 19 points 10 months ago

Yes, I'd like one slice of the cake-ass please. No box, I'm gonna eat it here.

[–] BleakBluets@lemmy.world 76 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

I heard this in Dexter's voice.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Presented in the new fashion of choice: Derelicte.

[–] devilish666@lemmy.world 44 points 10 months ago
[–] misophonium@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 10 months ago

Babe, come get a slice of egg loaf before it gets cold!

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

As a child growing up in the foothills of Grenyarnia, life was a simple, bucolic idyll. Every day the sun would shine through my modest little window, and I'd wake to the gentle scent of the titan arums, as well as the somewhat more pungent, but equally welcome, aroma of the Svenborgian staff bringing me my breakfast.

Oh what a repast it always was! The earthy notes of the Organic sixième presse de pied grape juice! The ever-unexpected delights of caviar-infused macarons! And to top it all off, of course, was my favorite, the delightful egg dish! The name is a bit of a mouthful, Sot den Arschlächer et ass eng Omelette, but my family and I always just called them our beloved Arschloch Omelettes. I never quite took down the recipe, as our staff mysteriously disappeared one night, coincidentally along with some of the tableware and a few million kroner of what mummy and daddy called the loose change. C'est la vie! You will be missed, Griselda! Or was it Greta? Or Bob?

Still, through my years of studying the culinary arts, with literally hours spent every month living and breathing the finest recipes and influencers, I think I've come close. My life coach and herbalist both tell me they've never tasted anything like it. Please enjoy my most favorite thing, and maybe you'll become an Arschloch lover like me...

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

How do you nominate for comment of the year?

[–] ultrahamster64@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago
[–] TheBannedLemming@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

They say anyone can cook. But that doesn't mean that anyone should cook.

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Nothing a little smoked paprika can't fix.

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[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The only problem I have with this is if I eat this many eggs in one sitting I will be on bed for the next couple of days.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is obviously meant to be a cake. You shouldn't eat an entire cake.

In one sitting.

[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 months ago

YOU'RE NOT MY PARENTS

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I don't even understand what I'm looking at.

[–] Imhotep@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)

an omelett, but the eggs haven't been stirred

I find this incredibly funny, still laughing, yet I'm not sure why

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Oh, ok, I thought it was the various ingredients. I zoomed in and finally figured out it was merely different shots of the same thing.

[–] MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz 6 points 10 months ago

I just keep imagining the faint outlines of the yolks and I burst into a fit of giggles.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago

Just eggs cooked hard in a skillet.

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

I just fucked up a french omelet and now i don't feel so bad about it

[–] Xenny@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

That... Actually takes some skill to do

[–] twig@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Weird thing to fuck but ok

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's not how that slang phrase works, and you know it!

[–] NormalPerson@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

Please keep your distance for the next farty hours

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 18 points 10 months ago

What a bold decision to put yolks in that egg white omelet.

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The Germans would call this an Eierkuchen

[–] anyhow2503@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

It's only missing every ingredient except Eier.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

Cut it into cubes and stick them with toothpicks and you can lie and say it's a Barbarian hors d'oeuvre or some shit.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That's called a tortilla, right?

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 6 points 10 months ago

Missing garlic, onion and patato, but pretty close to it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

I'd refund any tortillas if they were like this.

[–] Astronauticaldb@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that just poached eggs that have been jellified together?

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[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

This is .... poetry...

[–] scottmeme@sh.itjust.works 6 points 10 months ago
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 points 10 months ago

Gaston makes fried eggs.

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