this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] Mac@mander.xyz 111 points 5 days ago (5 children)

I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.

[–] ouRKaoS 8 points 4 days ago (2 children)

The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.

[–] I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I put on my robe and wizard hat

[–] fishbone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 days ago

Please understand how small an elevator is, and how big fireball is. Your party is begging you.

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[–] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 202 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn't want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 1 points 2 days ago

I feel awkward being in public without interaction. It's like my brain goes into overdrive, trying to predict a sudden interaction incoming like a quick time event

I'd comment on something slightly more relevant than the weather, because the conversation can then fade to comfortable silence (for me at least) knowing no more conversation is likely, or I'd do what I always do when someone engages - everyone has something interesting about them, I'll throw the conversation in random directions until I find a topic worth speaking about

[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 131 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Considering it's only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I'm probably screaming

[–] Damage@feddit.it 60 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn't work

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[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 48 points 5 days ago (8 children)

Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I'd ask to see your visitor's badge and inform you civilians aren't allowed here unescorted.

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 13 points 4 days ago

She IS the escort.

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[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 28 points 4 days ago (5 children)

I wouldn't say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 4 days ago (10 children)

Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don't talk to anyone anymore tbh.

I'm gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won't be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!

Use the apps

No, privacy nightmare.

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 11 points 4 days ago

Don't trust what the loud voices say.

Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.

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[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 92 points 5 days ago

Lady in red. It's a simulation, no experiment is going to show anything worthwhile.

"Look again."

looks

"Fuck, I wish you'd stop doing that, Morpheus."

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 31 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Well, Pac-man was originally called Puck-man. They changed it because... Not because Pac-man looks like a hockey puck. "Paku Paku" means "flap your mouth", and they were worried that people would change, scratch out the P turn it into an F, like...

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[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 47 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.

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[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 45 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

Second 1: introduce myself

Second 2: Andrew Tate pose

Second 3: obtain phone number

Second 4: go on date

Second 5: head home with them

Second 6: get touchy

Second 7: undress

Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.

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[–] Emi@ani.social 54 points 5 days ago

Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.

[–] Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 5 days ago

Nothing because I'm taking the stairs

[–] Superfool@lemmy.world 21 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Get in the lift.

Stare while ripping an absolutely rancid fart that strips the enamel off her teeth.

Sharpie my number across her tits and give her "double-guns" on the way out

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 days ago

"Nice uhh, b-leather we're having, uh."

cry, drop my spaghetti and run out

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

Nothing, I don't like small talk with strangers.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 36 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (5 children)

That's because you have big jugs.

I mean, your boobs are huge!

I mean, I want to squeeze em!

Mamma!

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[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 9 points 4 days ago

Does someone have the rest of the photo set or video.... For research.

[–] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (3 children)

If a hotdog is a sandwich, is the ocean a soup?

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (6 children)

A hotdog is not a sandwich.

If you serve bacon, lettuce, and tomato on a plate, you do not call that a sandwich.

But if you serve a hotdog without a bun, you still call it a hotdog.

QED.

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[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] callouscomic@lemm.ee 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

"I can be done in 7."

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 16 points 5 days ago

I was expecting this to be a video where her tits bounce in an elevator. Thoroughly disappointed.

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

You don't have the proper PPE for the radiologically controlled area.

[–] Fixbeat@lemmy.ml 27 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If you jump at the right moment, you can achieve weightlessness.

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[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 5 days ago (8 children)

Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I'm so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.

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[–] hsdkfr734r@feddit.nl 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

I don't understand. What's a uniform gravitational field and why does being inside one feels like standing in an accelerating elevator?

[–] GrabtharsHammer@lemmy.world 28 points 5 days ago (3 children)

This is a joke about Einstein's form of the Equivalence Principle:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equivalence_principle

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[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 21 points 5 days ago

Nothing. It’s eight seconds and both of us are probably going to be glancing at our phones anyway.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 18 points 5 days ago

This is getting insane. I (somewhat at least) get those "you have 24hs with me" ones but what am i gonna do with you in 8 seconds. Id rather spend 24h with an egirl than 8 seconds with you lol.

[–] Ajel@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Boobs are not supposed to be a solid blob... What have you done to them?

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