this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2023
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I'll give it a shot, "I thought I apologized already, but whatever…"

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[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 129 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"I'm sorry you feel that way" is up there.

[–] Dsklnsadog@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 year ago

Only right answer.

If you don't think the same, I'm sorry you feel that way.

[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago

And that's most every corporate apology out there!

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Classic non-apology.

It’s not that I did anything wrong, it’s just that you decided to feel offended about it, that’s the real problem here.

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[–] Sombyr@lemmy.one 92 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I had a teacher tell me to drop out then be forced to write an apology letter for it.

She wrote "I'm sorry you thought I told you to drop out."

So I'm gonna say "I'm sorry you thought" is high up there. Straight up gaslighting.

Drive me nuts.

Its definitely some fucked up attempt at uno reversing. They can't admit mistake. Or worse, rather than try to understand the disconnect, they went into "it's your fault".

Don't confuse it with the "I'm sorry you feel that way" as sometimes it sounds similar and used to the same effect, but different because it's not trying to shift blame, but acknowledge your emotions.

[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 50 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That one entirely depends on what the "but" is. You can be sorry and have an entirely good reason for fucking up. Its not a great start though.

"You slept with me and didnt call me all week!"

"I'm sorry but there was a TNG marathon on"

I'm sorry, but my mom died"

[–] dom@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] shapesandstuff@feddit.de 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

The card did say "moops."

[–] chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org 50 points 1 year ago (5 children)

🚫 Conditional apologies:

  • "I'm sorry if..."
  • "I'm sorry but..."
  • "I'm sorry for [not the main thing you should be apologizing for]..."

🚫 Apologizing on behalf of the recipient:

  • "I'm sorry you feel that way"
  • "I'm sorry you came to that conclusion"

🚫 Insulting the intelligence of the recipient by way of apology:

  • "I'm sorry for not being more clear"
  • "I'm sorry about being so misleading"

🚫 Non-apologies:

  • "I apologize for..."
  • "It's regrettable that..."
  • "It was terrible to..."

When in doubt, keep it simple. Get the main apology out ASAP, then carefully start saying your piece afterward. Focus on yourself if the situation demands explaining yourself (many don't). Be extremely careful to speak only constructively about other individuals during the apology (if you can't say something nice...).

For example: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

[–] Cralder@feddit.nu 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

🚫 Insulting the intelligence of the recipient by way of apology:

  • "I'm sorry for not being more clear"
  • "I'm sorry about being so misleading"

How are those insulting? Saying that I should have been more clear means I am the one who messed up by not communicating properly. Something like "sorry that you misunderstood" would be insulting since it places the blame on the recipient's intelligence.

[–] scubbo@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago

They're not inherently insulting - there are ways to use those phrases appropriately, but they can be (and often are) used sarcastically, when the speaker had been clear in the first place.

[–] baronofclubs@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

I'm sorry for not being more clear about how the dishes should be done.

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[–] Mister_Rogers@kbin.social 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment"

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Corporate jingle plays

"And now, a message from our company president..."

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[–] room_raccoon@kbin.social 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My husband's favourite is "I'm sorry you got upset."

[–] peter@feddit.uk 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Companies love that one too. "we are sorry our customers felt upset"

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[–] venoft@lemmy.world 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] Extrasvhx9he 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Ew do I really have to apologise to it? Fine..."

[–] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

"I'm sorry that you...[took it that way, misunderstood, etc]" basically saying "this is your fault, but I'll apologize anyway"

[–] corvaxL@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] CleoTheWizard@beehaw.org 22 points 1 year ago

“I’m sorry that you were upset about it”

“I feel like I shouldn’t have to keep apologizing but I will anyways”

“I’m sorry if what I did was misinterpreted”

Or my favorite

“It’s not something that I need to apologize for but if it makes you happy”

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] sunbeam60@lemmy.one 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

“IF I’ve offended you, I’m sorry.”

It’s not an apology if you don’t start by agreeing with the other person’s viewpoint.

Instead say: “I can understand why you’re offended. What I didn’t wasn’t acceptable and here’s why: …”

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[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

"I'm sorry that you feel that way" smuglord

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

I am 100% right, but since saying "sorry" is the only way you might shut up...

[–] Darkard@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't really deserve this, but whatever dick head....

[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh, it's a D. I was wondering what click head is.

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[–] Im14abeer@midwest.social 15 points 1 year ago

"Even though you .."

[–] CannotSleep420@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 1 year ago

pulls out ukulele

[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I shouldn’t have to apologize, but…

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[–] rahmad@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago
[–] Behaviorbabe@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“You’re still upset about that?”

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[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

"My mommy made me write this because you got your fee fees hurt"

[–] neonred@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

"This shouldn't be necessary, but in case you got this wrong, ..."

[–] Chariotwheel@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

'Some Ill informed people may see things your way, but...'

[–] nitefox@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Not understanding what’s wrong, so you can only grasp at why the other person is mad probably making them even angrier

[–] Toneswirly@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Anything following "I don't know how this happened" is a non-starter. If you don't know, then how can you really be sorry?

[–] swade2569@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

“Before I apologize…”

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Ya know, I'm not actually sorry, but I'm being forced to apologize. Next time just don't get upset, you cowardly snowflake and I won't have to apologize. Sorry, not actually sorry.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

"I know I'm not wrong but..."

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Waiting until it's "water under the bridge" and then apologizing because no amends have to be made and it still makes them look better. I'm no expert on apologies as a Reddit post of mine gives away, but one thing I'm sure of is an apology is supposed to be diplomatic.

Side note, I have decided this is the best way to apologize to me. Nothing else is necessary.

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