bodily fluids
My piss smells entirely of garlic. Total improvement imo.
traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
WEBRINGS:
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I don't want to doxx myself too much but when I went to go change my name on my CRBA (consular report of birth abroad, it's my birth certificate) I didn't realize that there was a listing for sex on it too- so now I have to get that changed even though all my other ID paperwork has the right gender marker and name on them. :(
I'm stuck in Texas, would anybody happen to know how difficult it is nowadays to just like... Get that changed real quickly? I just need the proof that my gender marker has been corrected so I can get that one damn document fixed.
Idk where all the new comrades on the site are coming from but I'm excited about it
getting off of bluesky it sounds like
a kiddo brought me their cup, seemingly very clean, and they started telling me about how they drank milk out of it and cleaned it up after and i had to ruin their day by informing that i still needed to wash it
late night anxiety posting
Ah, if only there was reliable feedback you could use to gauge how a social thing is going... Loprazolam I miss you...
I know that's way too literal and maybe gamified a way to look at talking to people, like it's not a system with rules, not really, even though neurotypicals say it is. But while I've been pretty content just going at it and yapping with people, there are definitely times where a thing happens and I desperately wish I could tell if it's the result of me being a huge fuckup or not.
Sometimes you just get left with nothing to go on, which is awkward and also leaves me wide awake at 7am combing over the same couple of conversations repeatedly trying to figure out if I did something stupid, which is extremely nerve wrecking seriously stop please.
Has anyone figured out how to git gud at not having anxious breakdowns like this, without needing to be medicated or whatever?
not sure if this is anything but could help
I have been nervous about social situations for a while for the exact reason you said: I never know how it's going. I am kinda always second guessing myself and what I find is that my mind is just spitting these sort of anxious thoughts out really quickly. So for me there is value in forcing my brain to slow down, sometimes it's me distracting myself and sometimes it's me sitting still trying to just observe the nasty thoughts. When they're slower, I recognize what for me is essentially a script of self-hatred. Not really any organic or in-the-moment thoughts.
So, I tell myself that I'm not good but I don't even really believe that when I beat myself up. And it's the same kind of thing with mistakes. I literally keep thinking about dumb shit from 2019, and even though I have the insight to reflect, I am still trapped in wondering if I did something stupid. There's this recognition more and more that my brain is using this like a chew toy, I'm making myself anxious for fun!
I am often caught in a literal way of relating to people! I'm currently trying to talk myself out of there being a "right number of times" to reach out during a week or "does this warrant texting someone". Because I'm so caught up on these things that I just don't text. I want to be better connected, and that desire is starting to outgrow my fear of saying something stupid.
Again, not sure if this is anything, but I relate very much to your comment
A+ comment, I completely relate to this. I think there's a grain of truth to this:
my brain is using this like a chew toy, I'm making myself anxious for fun!
for me too, but my current theory is that being miserable is the easiest thing in the world. I want more than that, though, so I fight.
oh waow
my brain is using this like a chew toy, I'm making myself anxious for fun!
Why would the brain do this, it causes us distress so surely we should not?
But for me, at this point I get more anxious about ambiguity than anything else. There are situations where it's like, if I could even tell clear-cut whether it was my fault, I could deal with it better. I tend to get huge spikes of anxiety when there's no sensory input, socially, like I don't get any feedback...
currently trying to talk myself out of there being a "right number of times" to reach out during a week or "does this warrant texting someone". Because I'm so caught up on these things that I just don't text. I want to be better connected, and that desire is starting to outgrow my fear of saying something stupid.
This is awesome, love to see it. There is no "right number of times" for anything social related! Message people, cause problems β¨ For me it is also hard because, uh I genuinely annoy people a lot of the time, literally I talk too much. That might sound like an eyerolling anxiety self hate thing, but I talk at extreme lengths to the point people have just quit in the past. So Idk, I just wish I could go to bed without my brain wondering if I've fucked up, not sure...
But for me, at this point I get more anxious about ambiguity than anything else. There are situations where it's like, if I could even tell clear-cut whether it was my fault, I could deal with it better. I tend to get huge spikes of anxiety when there's no sensory input, socially, like I don't get any feedback...
Same same.. Its so difficult. The ambiguity is killer...
This is awesome, love to see it. There is no "right number of times" for anything social related!
YES. I am working on internalising this.
Same same.. Its so difficult. The ambiguity is killer...
If there's a part of being autistic I actually truly loathe, it's this. Being incapable of reading social cues or whatever on its own is not awful, but it leaves me drowned in anxiety sometimes and aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I am working on internalising this.
You just send people however many messages you want, you just talk to em a lot and it's great y'know... Their inboxes full, their minds full, with our incredible yapping...
I smoke weed, lie awake and distract myself knowing that tomorrow the anxiety will probably be a bit less bad. I wish I knew of any better remedies
Sorry I still haven't been to the weedstore since we last spoke been busy but I try to keep that in mind
Lol I had forgotten about that conversation. I can still recommend it
Disidentifying from my thoughts has helped. It leaves me wanting something to identify with and finding nothing, but Iβll be fine. There is a mechanism that keeps catching RSD in the act and disengaging.
How do I do this pls =)
Btw this is mindfulness but whole-er. I extrapolate from my experience and what Iβve heard that other autists would see through the absurd contradiction in the mainstream suggestion that some thoughts belong to the self and others do not.
I have seen your other posts and I'm not sure I fully grasp what I'm reading, other than the obvious. Also if you brought me orange book posting I would probably bully orange book, that is my new bit...
Thatβs alright and understandable. I should not expect anything to be the same. I think I am going to stop trying to drag people onto the path to ultimate reality who are not perpetually befuddled by existence. Still, I must recommend mindfulness and meditation. You can do the other practices without fully understanding it, but honestly just note sensations and watch them pass.
spoiler
Currently being mindful of my RSD at this sensical event and yβknow? Itβs not too bad.
I will interest trade you reading Nevada for practicing insight.
I'm getting my orchi on Jan. 10 and am starting the process of getting top surgery. Not sure I'll be able to get top surgery before they ban gov coverage of GAC but at least I got the process started. If they do, I'll get it done privately and raise the money the old fashioned way, a combination of getting on my knees and also mutual aid
had a migraine yesterday so trying not to look at shit, decided to finally read (listen to) Nevada. and damn it was so fucking good, thanks for yapping about it @ashinadash@hexbear.net
my spoilery thoughts
i was initially a bit shocked by the ending but i let the afterward play and was satisfied with the reasoning. i do really like the representations of "pre" and "post" transition thing. Maria kind of awestruck me for the first half before i realised how much closer i was to James' end of that particular part of the journey. but dear god, i hope that one day i can feel as comfortable in my gender as Maria does
also i really liked the traffic light analogy, which made the fact it was stolen even funnier
Fallout Tactics has a minor character Paladin Solo, her first name is Emerald, she is referred to with feminine pronouns and her voice actor is a cis man.
https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Emerald_Solo
It's 2001 and I don't know if it was meant to be something intentional about Power Armor, a budget constraint or an error, or some one snuck it in for positive or negative purposes.
But she/her, no voice training and a full suit of power armour is gender AF and rules.