this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
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chapotraphouse

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Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will undergo prostate removal surgery on Sunday after he was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection, his office said.

The 75-year-old leader underwent a test at Hadassah Hospital on Wednesday, where he was "diagnosed with a urinary tract infection resulting from a benign prostate enlargement," the prime minister's office said in a statement.

"As a result, the prime minister will undergo prostate removal surgery tomorrow," it said.

In March, Netanyahu underwent a hernia surgery, while in July last year, doctors implanted a pacemaker after a medical scare.

The procedure on Sunday comes hours after the Israeli military announced it had raided one of the last functioning hospitals in northern Gaza and detained its director.

Israel has been at war against Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip for nearly 15 months after the Oct. 7, 2023 attacks in southern Israel that killed around 1,200 people and abducted some 250 others. Some 100 Israelis remain captive in Gaza and around a third are believed to be dead.

The war has killed more than 45,400 Palestinians and wounded more than 108,000 others according to the Hamas-controlled Health Ministry in Gaza. Its count does not distinguish between civilians and combatants.

Earlier this month, Netanyahu took the stand in his long-running trial for alleged corruption. This week, Israel's attorney general ordered police to open an investigation into Netanyahu's wife on suspicion of harassing political opponents and a witness in the corruption trial.

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[–] refolde@hexbear.net 46 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

UNCRITICAL SUPPORT TO (possibly) PROSTATE CANCER

or

BOTCH THE SURGERY BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT BOTCH IT

also

Hamas-controlled Health Ministry in Gaza. Its count does not distinguish between civilians and combatants.

Fuck off whoever wrote this.

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Hamas-controlled Health Ministry in Gaza. Its count does not distinguish between civilians and combatants.

Immediately after stating Israel's(no mention if the stats are from the Bibi controlled Ministry of Health) October 7th casualties without distinguishing between civilians and combatants

[–] IceWallowCum@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

BOTCH THE SURGERY BOTCH IT

Urinary incontinence is a possible side effect of this surgery even if done correctly, so there's a chance he'll spend the rest of his life wearing diapers

[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The war has killed more than 45,400 Palestinians and wounded more than 108,000 others according to the Hamas-controlled Health Ministry in Gaza. Its count does not distinguish between civilians and combatants.

They are still doing this. Im gonna redact these fucking bastards.

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

Ah yes, as opposed to the entity's count of 1200 dead on Oct 7 that... also has never been disambiguated between civilian and combatant deaths? When they obviously have the means to do that and the Gaza Health Ministry does not?

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That surgeon has the chance to do the funniest thing ever

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

yeah, replace his prostate with a bomb like a DBZ android lmao

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

I was gonna say hook his urethra to his colon so he pees poo, but that's pretty good too

[–] SerLava@hexbear.net 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't believe them when they say it's benign. Why would you remove the whole prostate.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 27 points 2 weeks ago

My dad had his prostate removed over something similar, still praying the cancer kills Benny though.

[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 2 weeks ago

Prostate did not condemn hamas

[–] Piment@hexbear.net 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

There is a bad joke to be made about two state solution prostate solution if someone wants to farm some social media likes.

[–] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

We affirm our commitment to the pro-state solution

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

in a radical change of stance, bibi adopts no-state solution

[–] NPa@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago

In Israel, prostrate surgeon.

Number one. Steady hand. One day, genocide boss need prostrate removed. I do operation. But mistake! Jewish Hitler boss die! Mossad very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.

My big secret. I kill genocide boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

[–] Justice@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 2 weeks ago

That's a crazy turn around time from diagnosis to removal

Must be nice having amazing "state of the art" diagnosis equipment and surgery tools. All paid for courtesy of the US. (You're... welcome?). We got six-pack jacked Italians with the most Italian-ass names blowing away CEOs of private health insurance corporations. But at least our little friends over there can get their prostate removed within 24-48 hours of diagnosis. That's great to know. I will sleep better tonight knowing this.

I hope Netanyahu also remembers to cherish the stable source of electricity in the hospital, water for the surgery, and for his hydration after when he's recovering. I hope his mushy hospital food is flavorful and packed with nutrients and calories to help his body repair itself. You know, the basics one expects from a hospital. The basics he has ensured two million people can't have for the last 15 months. No one is getting their prostate cancer diagnosed and removed next day in Gaza, that's for sure. Thank you Netanyahu. Thank you for ensuring the 75 year old Palestinian grandpa, aka "elder terrorists" to you, will never have his UTI investigated further and will instead be doomed to a slow death as cancer spreads from his prostate throughout his body ultimately killing him. That's assuming he doesn't get shot by one of your drones or blown apart by one of your carpet bombing assaults or simply starve to death from lack of food/water being allowed into a sieged area.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

Hmm, better be safe and just remove him altogether

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

May all the spirits of the doctors he's murdered come together for one epic pro afterlife gamer move.

[–] Corigan@lemm.ee 8 points 2 weeks ago

Lmao dude never gonna get a boner again. Unless they install a mechanical pump in there.

Karma for fucking over so many.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Christmas wishes do come true!

[–] 666PeaceKeepaGirl@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

I spent like an hour trying to get DALL-E to give me a good ancom Netanyahu for a prostate removal joke but it wouldn't budge