this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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Here's to a new year! Here's my first mega try (also first time posting in a while due to reasons) but heya! Admittedly struggled a fair bit with self doubt and anxiety on this one as put it off for a while/other things caught up with me but I figure I'll be glad I did it once I've done it. It's kinda being done last minute though, so admittedly there's that...

I'd been intending to make the mega about something else originally when I signed up, but that would require more time on my part (and I just binge read this recently, so it all works out). Anyways, my subject of the week is The Summer Hikaru Died; it's a queer (BL) horror manga which is currently also scheduled for anime release next year (2025).

Content warnings naturally follow and further details will be spoilered.

CONTENT WARNINGSGrief, body horror and (very debatably IMO) mild gore, supernatural horror (ghosts/"impurities", otherworldly entities), death I suppose though that one's a given

PremiseThe titular Hikaru went for a walk in the woods, died, and something came back wearing his body, something that doesn't quite know how to be human or mortal; "Hikaru" returned, to ensure that his best friend, Yoshiki, would not be lonely. Romantic tension (and tension of a less pleasant kind) ensues.

The plot/things I like about it thus far (light spoilers)Yoshiki and "Hikaru" have an absolutely great dynamic- their relationship may not be fully healthy, but their intentions seem to both be in the right place, as are their deep feelings (Yoshiki's for Hikaru and increasingly for "Hikaru," and Hikaru and "Hikaru's" own true feelings) and honesty in this regard, despite the latter "Hikaru" being effectively an imposter of sorts. (it's complicated, but these are increasingly distinguished separately and I really like that process as well)

"Hikaru" is, while not quite a blank slate, extremely new to the concept of even just "being" in the sense that mortal creatures and individual organisms(?) do. They've had to learn (and Yoshiki has had to confront them about) the value and significance of life and death; they've increasingly established boundaries, and they approach the world with a liveliness and curiousity that is really cute (the original Hikaru was also lively FWIW, but "Hikaru" is experiencing everything anew even if they retain the memories).

Yoshiki, on the other hand, is both grappling with his grief and loss of Hikaru, while finding comfort (and discomfort alike) in his imposter, and in guiding them through a new world or state of being. He's finding his resolve and moral/ethical backbone interacting with "Hikaru" (very blue-and-orange morality dynamics, though they're learning), he's experiencing what could be described as a rocky but determined romance and queer experimentation at the same time "Hikaru" is being introduced to notions of attraction and desire (beyond instinctual desire to consume).

Their pairing in so many ways should not work (or rather would be usually destined for a tragic end). From the start, there have been several points where by all means it should have met such an end. But their determination and willingness to meet the other where they're at and gradually be understanding with the other is both fascinating and something I'd feel optimistic for (and interested in seeing play out further).

Anyways, I should cut myself short at this (and make sure to have something properly written beforehand for next time). But anyways, thus far it's a strong recommend (if you feel alright with the content warnings) from me.


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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Hey, so who can tell me about the term "doll"? I've only seen it in usernames basically, so if it has any connotations or functions they are lost to me.

[–] yoink@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

gonna respond here instead of on the week+ old post you replied to

contrary to the other user, I've only ever seen it used by younger trans women, especially on TikTok and Instagram - and while there are connotations of 'pretty' or 'cute', there are also connotations of 'toy', 'plastic', 'fake' and so on, which often reads to me like an attempt to try and 'defang' the idea of being a trans woman. I only saw the term start to pop up from around 3 or 4 years ago, and I've seen more 'millenial' trans women start to take it on now in order to try and feel relevant to the younger trans crowd.

If you want examples of stuff like this, pretty regularly I'll get served videos that are some variation of 'when he says he's not gay but he's never tried a doll' or 'dolls are more fun than real women', which both are pretty fucked ways to go about things, and are just one example of why that term regularly leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but even without those the term still doesn't sit right with me. Like I said in the rest of that thread you replied to, it feels like an attempt to leverage a bit of internalised transphobia at the hopes of being accepted by a cishet populace. I understand that this isn't what you've personally seen, but honest to god this is what keeps being sent to my for you page, what I keep seeing pop up in comments, what I hear IRL.

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[–] bolshevikLovelace@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

sat on my glasses but i've recently learned how to do diy readjustments (take that optometrists maddened) so they're all fixed!

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Feeling exhausted and hateful and bitter and angry and weirdly isolated and just, what the fuck is the moon or whatever doing that's fucking with me at this time of year? I hate absolutely everything except for Dragon Quest.

If you're all very lucky maybe I'll post about Mice Tea sometime soon.

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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

my nose is so stuffyyyyyy catgirl-flop i just want a cute cat nose, why is that so hard????

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[–] buh@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I talked a little about it earlier, and kind of understated my feelings in the moment, but fuck am I both excited and scared about the possibility of getting on HRT. It's crazy to me that I've been suffering from gender dysphoria for years and only started considering getting on HRT in the last several months, but if everything goes right, it'll all be resolved in a matter of weeks, and ultimately this was spurred by a kind of crappy Christmas with "family". Yet there's still the possibility that I won't get to it soon (I still need to go through all the blood tests and admittedly I have not been taking care of my health up to this point), and even if I do, there's the social consequences of the changes to worry about. Pretty much everyone in my life is socially conservative, and I live in a red state, so I don't know what's gonna happen there. Despite all that, without a doubt I'm looking forward to starting HRT so I can become the woman I've always wanted to be.

It's also weird (yet comforting) to me that the more I think about medically transitioning, the more at peace my mind is. But sadly the only thing I can do at this point is think about it. When my egg first cracked, I thought I would socially transition first (I've made posts from as recently as a month or so ago saying this), but only recently have I realized I can't let myself do that without some form of medical transition. It's not just the way of presenting myself that needs to change, my body does too.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Omg I just got access to HRT just like you! I'll be starting in like a month.

I'm scared and excited too, but I mostly feel exactly what you described--a really deep sense of peace. While I've already socially transitioned with some people, I can't wait for my body to change :)

Whatever obstacle you're worried about, you can handle!

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

Found some lip gloss that has this cute pomp pomp keychain on it, the lip gloss itself is pretty good smelling like cupcake frosting. Also got me some witch hazel stuff, cleaned my face and added some gloss and feeling kel-bliss

[–] Eco@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

breaking bad if it was cool:

do not. forcefem my husband.

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[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

Reading an appallingly bad yuri manga so that I can remember how bad things really are and what the good times are like by contrast, and then being satisfied reading a middling yuri manga madeline-smug

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[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

Eco* (1/6 (The Darkest Day in Our Democracy.) - 1/12)
Yukiko (1/13 - 1/19)
oscardejarjayes* (1/20 - 1/26)
SwitchyandWitchy* (1/27 - 2/2)
SILLY BEAN@lemmygrad.ml* (2/3 - 2/9)
AshenWolf* (2/10 - 2/16)
GayTuckerCarlson* (2/17 - 2/23)

EstraDoll (3/2 - 3/8)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

this one's ONLY for the men, the fellasHey crush wassup

You're looking cute today

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[–] Wmill@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Yt algo presenting vids for terminally online and lonely people in my recs wonder-who-thats-for absolutely no idea why

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[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

dysphoria, self care, body hairBeen putting it off but gonna try the Nair creme I got after awhile neglecting myself and will let you all know how it goes

(I'm a deeply cursed big gay baby with super sensitive skin but also ridiculous hirsute Mediterranean genes)

Hopefully it goes well, if not, I hope to provide valuable data to trans sciencetrans-heart

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[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

Fucking great! I’m sick again for the second time this month. Another week of eating baby food, I guess? catgirl-flop

[–] Yukiko@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Work sucks and no one should have so many meetings in one day. Especially over inane stuff that doesn't need handled in a Zoom call. Just let me do my job. aubrey-angry

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[–] buh@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

listening to all the saddest songs in my collection to hype myself up for HRT appointment #0

[–] buh@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

it went okay.... I'm getting labs done in a couple weeks and if it goes well, they will prescribe patches

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[–] shallot@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Me, 3 hours ago: β€œIt’ll be simple, just gotta read some docs to set a few nvim settings”

Me, 5 minutes ago, having gone down a lazynvim rabbit hole: monke-beepboop

[–] Josephine_Spiro@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago
[–] yewler@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

I'm so damn tired of smug liberals. It's so exhausting

[–] CDommunist@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Trans guy who changes his name to Jeff Gordon

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[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

happy new year mega!

2025...

That's one number higher than 2024

[–] Edie@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

We haven't had Music Monday the last few mega threads have we?

God I love Thomas Bergersen. Currently listening to Red

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