this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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I hope this is not too stupid of a question, if it is I already apologize in advance.

Basically my girlfriend and I who are from Germany are planning to travel to the USA. We were hearing stuff that some Americans socially divide people by their ethnicity. I just wanted to ask online whether this is true and if there could be any concerns because my skin is very bright and my girlfriends skin is very dark.

Normally we never really cared or talked about this since at least in our community (where we are from) no one makes a thing out of it and we both just identify as German. But I heard that in some procedures in America you have to say what your ethnicity is? We even heard things like that in some places they divide people by "skin color" and base different cultures on that (we noticed that people from America even speak and behave differently based on whether they identify as "black" or "white") and even have schools for primarily people with dark skin or so. And this concept is very new to us since our skin was never any topic for us and we are somewhat insecure that someone could say something since we look so different and are a couple and we don't know if this could be "weird" for some Americans?

I assume that's probably not the case and I'm somewhat misinformed, which is why we just want to make sure there isn't anything that we have to know or potentially have to be concerned about.

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[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 10 points 6 hours ago

You'll be fine everywhere you go. No one will even notice you. What you see online and how it is in real life are wildly different. Enjoy your trip

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

America is a big place, and how people will react to you depends entirely on where you go. Racial incidents increased after Trump took office in 2016 and they probably will again now, but in general you're totally safe.

[–] jacksilver@lemmy.world 9 points 9 hours ago

As many people said there is racism in the US, but that's cause everywhere has its flavor of racism.

If you're visiting the US as tourists it's highly unlikely you'll encounter anyone being outwardly racist, especially if you keep to major tourist destinations.

In any major US city you'll run into people of all different colors and people from all over the world working and living together, just like most big/international cities.

[–] expr@programming.dev 5 points 9 hours ago

There's plenty of racism around, but I wouldn't worry about it as tourists. What you read about is the general systemic problems related to living here in the day to day. That's pretty different from visiting as a tourist. As a tourist, you're pretty unlikely to experience anything like that.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 15 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I’m an American. Wanna trade places? Germany seems a lot less Nazi recently.

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 3 points 10 hours ago

They would have to be utterly fuckin deranged, mate

[–] SoJB@lemmy.ml -2 points 7 hours ago

If you encounter the police, they can kill your girlfriend and earn a 6 month paid vacation.

This is not a joke. Act accordingly.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 8 points 15 hours ago

Your description sounds to me like someone was trying to explain how the US is a melting pot of cultures and they did an extremely poor job 😂

Essentially because we are a country of immigrants people with similar cultures tend to group together. For example there are parts of cities that are predominantly Italian or Chinese. Not because we are racist but because that just happens naturally. People want to share an experience a culture similar to their home country.

Obviously there is always a chance that someone will say something but just ignore them or tell them to mind their own business. You have our blessing to treat those people with absolute disrespect.

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 48 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

If you're not pro Trump I would just tell you to boycott the US until it gets its shit together, especially considering that you're planning to go to a red state.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago

When I was young I always dreamt of travelling to the US some day. By the time I could actually have afforded it, George Dubya had rolled around and madness took over. So I thought I'd wait for sanity to reassert itself. Still waiting but I have little hope at this point.

[–] Sergio@slrpnk.net 39 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

There's a huge difference between living somewhere and visiting it as a tourist. Most places encourage tourism and are happy to demonstrate their hospitality. Stick to the tourist areas, start interactions by saying "We're tourists from Germany..." and you'll have no problem.

I'm not sure what other people here mean when they deny that there is racism in the US. There are plenty of racists in this country. It's true that they're much less likely to hang you from a tree for being in the wrong neighborhood -- I guess if your standards are that low then we have indeed made great progress. But again, they're generally not going to mess with tourists in tourist areas.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 9 hours ago

start interactions by saying “We’re tourists from Germany…”

Right now, I guess 1/4 the people they interact with in USA might give the fash salute in joy or something

[–] AnAmericanPotato@programming.dev 58 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

Racism in America is real. Anyone telling you otherwise is probably just living a charmed life and incapable of accepting that their personal experience is not universal.

I don't have the time or energy to prove this exhaustively, but here's a starting point: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Driving_while_black

In 2019, as reported by NBC, the Stanford Open Policing Project found that "police stopped and searched black and Latino drivers on the basis of less evidence than used in stopping white drivers, who are searched less often but are more likely to be found with illegal items."

Please refer to the citations on that page for more details. Lots of studies in various states showing the same thing. The fact that the mere existence of racial profiling in America is still debated, when it has been consistently proven again and again for decades, is itself a clear indicator of a different kind of racism.

Here's a little story that stuck in my memory, about how a white woman finally came to realize that racial harassment by police was a real thing. It's kind of hilarious, in a dark, face-palmy kind of way. https://franklywrite.com/2020/06/01/a-white-woman-racism-and-a-poodle/

[–] IamAnonymous@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Racism exists all over the world though. I wouldn’t say USA is a bad place to visit based on your examples, even though they are valid. If you are just traveling visiting tourist places you should be fine. I’m a brown person in the US, what are the chances of me being targeted in a different country with mainly white population? Fairly high.

[–] Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 21 hours ago

Upvoting this 1) Because that story with the poodle is amazing, and 2) Having lived that charmed life and then dated a black person for a few years, it really is eye opening how different their reality is in the US vs white folks.

[–] MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago

The catch is as tourists they are substantially less likely to experience this if they stick to tourist areas.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 55 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

It kinda depends on where in the country you're going.

West Coast, and Northern East coast is going to be a hugely different experience than the middle of the country or the southern coast.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I live in the deep South. No one will bat an eye. I've seen more interracial couples down here than anywhere else in the US.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 16 points 23 hours ago

There's more of an urban/rural divide here than you're describing. Their experience in Houston, New Orleans, or Atlanta is going to be a lot different than small town Louisiana or Alabama

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Middle of the country? Haha

Nobody gives a fuck

[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hey! We have corn. And wheat.

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[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 21 points 23 hours ago

Almost nobody is going to care unless you go places nobody cares about.

We don't segregate people by color, but some people self segregate. There are areas with more black people or more white people, but there is no laws that say you or her can't go somewhere because of skin color.

I am assuming she is black. There is a small chance that some people will say rude things to one of you because you are with someone of a different color. Don't confront them, just walk away. The cops would love to ruin their whole day, so govern yourself accordingly.

We see a lot of Germans in the tourist spots, your accent will be considered adorable and we will love to know where you are from and will likely fail to repeat the name of your home city unless it is Berlin, Frankfort, or Munich. If you are from Bayern, you are from Bavaria. If they ask you to say something in German, "etwas" is funny, but you will have to follow it up with an actual sentence. Throw in an "umgebung", it's a fun word to us.

Also you need to understand that America is very large. Germany is smaller than our states of Illinois and Indiana, look at those states on a map and understand that things are further apart than you may think.

If you can manage the 2hr drive, Chattanooga has an awesome aquarium with a massive glass walled tank.

Ask the hotel desk where are some good local spots to get food, but the best places are not in the information pamphlet they may hand you. I hope your pants fit loose, our food can put weight on you very easily if you take in too much of our hedonistic freedom. Tip your servers, that is how they afford to live.

Ich höffe das Eures Urlaub wunderbar sind und der Amis sind freundlich. Ich weiß das Sie Amerika lieben werden. Mein Deutsch schlecht ist, tut mir leid, es ist zwanzig Jahre her dass ich Deutsch gelernt habe.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Are you comfortable being a bit more specific about what area you're going to? Vermont and Louisiana would be drastically different experiences.

[–] wanderluster@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (6 children)

We were looking into hiking and exploring national parks, maybe around Great Smoky Mountains and visiting Nashville (Tennessee) cause we're country music lovers.

I live near there and honestly nobody's likely to care enough to give you trouble

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 18 points 23 hours ago

If you’re visiting mostly tourist areas and big cities, you’ll be fine. You might notice some people doing a double take, but it should be pretty harmless. Now if you go to rural, bumfuck nowhere places, your experience might be different.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The Smokies are beautiful, I’m sure you’ll both have a good time. Chattanooga is worth visiting if you have the time, it’s a good mix of college town and rural Appalachian beauty.

Just be aware of your surroundings and whether or not anyone is giving you the stink eye or staring you down, and assume any dude giving you shit has a gun (ie, don’t escalate and just leave). I don’t say that to scare you, carrying guns is just very normal in large swathes of the south, so tailor your threat response accordingly. The majority of people are not gonna be a problem, especially in urban areas. But anyone telling you it never happens is living in denial.

You have nothing to worry about. There's a handful of areas across the country with people who are outwardly racist, these places are nowhere anybody would ever have a reason to visit on vacation. It's not the norm. If you have a weird accent most people will immediately be welcoming.

[–] pwnicholson@lemmy.world 5 points 23 hours ago

I live in Nashville (and my sister lives in Germany). You should be fine. It's a great place to visit.

Any place in the world has the small chance of a drunken idiot making a fool of themselves by revealing themselves to be racist. We're no different. But you're not going to be harassed by police officers or anything like that (unless you're doing something worthy of their attention anyway).

The only places where I'd be the slightest bit concerned would be in the small town rural areas between Nashville and the national park. Even then you should be fine, but the odds of running into a racist idiot will go up from like 1% to 3%. And even if you do, it's not like you'll be in danger. They'll just do their best to make you uncomfortable by saying something nasty. They won't refuse you service or anything crazy like that.

Honestly, even in those areas you're likely to be looked at suspiciously because of your foreign accent more than the color of your skin.

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[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not really, it's not the 50's or 60's.

99% of people don't give a shit.

[–] wanderluster@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You'll probably be mostly fine, but expect people to find your accent to be a novelty.

Racists usually keep their mouths shut in public, just pay attention to your surroundings and be careful (good advice anywhere you go).

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've definitely gotten lots of looks in the US due to my accent not matching the way I look as Americans understand it.

It ranges from "huh, that was weird" to actually annoying after a while, but it was never an outright issue for me.

Also, holy crap, stay away from cops. That is an actual piece of advice for the OP. You're gonna think cops are there for you because you're all European and stuff and I'm telling you now, US cops serve an entirely different social function and do not expect to interact with you unless it's through violence. I am very serious about this.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 day ago

Oh shit yeah, I assumed that was a given because I forgot other countries have cops that actually help people sometimes. ESPECIALLY stay away from any cop with visible tats because there’s a non zero chance they’re in a literal gang.

[–] That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml 9 points 22 hours ago

We were hearing stuff that some Americans socially divide people by their ethnicity. I just wanted to ask online whether this is true and if there could be any concerns

Unfortunately it is true, but it's not everywhere. Generally speaking, the larger the population of an area, the less likely you'll experience hostility. Coastal cities with large populations are highly unlikely to give you trouble. Rural aeas with lower populations have a higher chance of giving you trouble.

We even heard things like that in some places they divide people by "skin color" and base different cultures on that (we noticed that people from America even speak and behave differently based on whether they identify as "black" or "white") and even have schools for primarily people with dark skin or so.

Yes, segregation was a dark chapter in America's history. Officially, segregation was outlawed, but unofficially it still happens in some areas. Some of the conservative regions are trying to go back to the days of segregation and slavery. They create laws that aren't specifically racist, but still have that effect.

As to different cultures, we have a lot of them. Most of the country speaks English, but we have a lot of different accents that seem like a different language entirely.

I dont know German, but I would draw a parallel to various English accents in the UK. Irish, Scottish, Cockney, Geordie, and so on.

As to the way white and black people talk, I suspect it has more to do with wealth and social class rather than race. Poor white people and poor black people tend to socially isolate from one another, creating distinct accents. But it's not uncommon for intermingling.

I have a coworker who grew up in a poor black neighborhood and he has a "black accent" (for lack of a better term). If your only interaction with him is on the phone, it would be easy to assume he's black.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

But I heard that in some procedures in America you have to say what your ethnicity is?

Not sure what you mean by "procedures," but no. It's explicitly forbidden for anyone to discriminate against you based on your race or ethnicity. You won't be asked if you are black or white or anything else. People might be curious where you are from, especially if you have a strong accent, but you're free to tell them to fuck off (especially if they are being racist.)

We even heard things like that in some places they divide people by "skin color" and base different cultures on that (we noticed that people from America even speak and behave differently based on whether they identify as "black" or "white") and even have schools for primarily people with dark skin or so.

We have laws preventing creating neighborhoods or schools that exclude specific races, but there are regional schools in communities that are primarily one race or another. Generations of racial segregation, redlining, blockbusting, and gerrymandering have created persisitent segregation that survives decades after those practices were outlawed.

So no, you're not misinformed. Historical segregation was real and still affects communities today, but there are no laws enforcing racial segregation. We do have a lot of bigots, as evidenced by the literal Nazi salute at the Trump inauguration today, so you should be careful in places like rural Alabama, Mississippi, Florida, Texas, Utah, and South Carolina. But if you're visiting a major city, or any famous tourist attractions, you'll probably not experience any overt racism beyond a Trump bumper sticker.

It’s explicitly forbidden for anyone to discriminate against you based on your race or ethnicity

Ironically, it's very common to be asked for this information specifically because of anti-discrimination laws, so they can demonstrate statistically fair practices. I always see a box for this on medical forms, new-hire paperwork, etc. I believe the law requires it to be optional and only used for regulatory reports. So that's probably what OP heard about.

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Don't listen to the people saying there's an issue anywhere.

All this racist nonsense is just that - nonsense.

I've lived or worked for extended periods in numerous states, from Maine to Alabama, North Dakota, Washington, Texas, California, and all over the midwest, especially in rural areas (worked with trucking companies), and you really don't see all the racism people claim on the internet, even in the trucker world.

Yea, you'll find an ass here and there, but that's very much the exception today. Far more so than even the 70's, when being openly racist in a small town was tolerated a lot more ("the older generation don't know no better" kind of stuff).

So come to the US. You'll be fine anywhere except specific areas in certain inner cities (and that's a general crime issue, not a race issue).

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I personally know a lady that had to leave alabama after two run in with racists at gas stations in a couple months because her mixed race kid

this was in 2020

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 16 points 23 hours ago

2016 in the mountains of North Carolina a girl was taken out of my high school because some of the kids were bullying her so bad for being a "n****r-lover" cause she dated one of the few black guys in the area

They had to learn that from somewhere and enough of the school was doing it that she and her mom felt she was unsafe there

Overt racism is still alive and real in more places in America than people want to admit

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Yeah the Deep South still has problems. Especially in rural areas.

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[–] LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I think this will be a complete non-issue. Interracial/interethnic marriage is quite common in the US. There might be a few isolated backwater areas where people would judge you but such people would be in the minority and would keep such thoughts to themselves.

And regardless, anywhere international tourists would know of or visit will be cosmopolitan enough that such pairings will not be unusual to see.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago

Don't come here. Shit's fucked.

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Just go for it, so long as you aren't overtly rude you'll have minimal issues (hard to do, in my experience Germans are quite polite). Few people will care at all and those that do probably won't tell you to your face which is for the best for everyone anyway.

Assuming you're going to visit as a tourist most places you will be at will be fine for both of you.

Also check out Atlas Obscura and Wikivoyage if you haven't they are both cool resources for getting around and finding things to do

[–] wanderluster@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That shouldn't be a problem we're both kinda introverted and just wanna have a good time

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[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would highly recommend staying away from the US for the next 4-20 years if your skin tone is anything darker than paper

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

if they are at least multi millionaires and good at knowing which asses to kiss they will be fine.

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