this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 40 comments
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[–] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 135 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"What's with all the bags of ice?"

[–] DrugsMcChrist@lemmy.ml 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

so you say you always bring an empty cooler with you on a first date. that's interesting

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Takes off all clothes to get ready for some love making .... "What? You want me to wash my body first? .... OK?" ....everything goes black

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

"Why does everything smell like iodine and pine needles..... /slump

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Last thought before passing out, "awe, I'm going to miss out on all the sex."

[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 83 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Drop the bullshit and tell me your exact blood type

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago

Nice try Dr Acula!

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 52 points 1 year ago

Partner for “life”.

[–] nevemsenki@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Of all the things in that picture, what bothers me still is why only London written in cyrillic?

It’s the way Tinder renders. ‘Lives in’ shows up in the language/alphabet of the app of the creator of the profile, while all other headers are processed in the language of the viewer of the profile.

It actually serves as a decent trick for learning the language settings on the app of a person who’s profile you’re viewing.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

You know what, same.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She didn't ask for him to have a job

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or be over 6'. You have a point.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Organ dealers don’t see height 🥺😍

[–] tubaruco@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

they dont care about appearance, what they do care about is whats inside!

[–] konalt@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Watch out, or she'll fix you

[–] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The benefits of having a gf surgin

[–] EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

If she's surgin' for cash, she may bring in a surgeon to grab your kidneys

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

goes on date

Man- "lets play a game, i tell you what i like about you and you tell me what you like about me.

Olga- "how valuable your are to me" (whispers under her breath) "economalicly"

[–] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Eh more of a operation guy tbh

[–] faintwhenfree@lemmus.org 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Economalicaly, haha pure gold

[–] howsetheraven@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Alright guys, you get one more try.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

(pssst, I think the misspellings are actually intentionally part of the joke)

[–] fluckx@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sounds more like a "till death do us part" rather than a long time partner to me :/

[–] phx@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

"lifetime" partner :-)

[–] _number8_@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

must reside within 5 hectares of the М̷̩̦̩͕̆̈́̇̊о̶̡͉̱̺͉̦̐̍̍͗̋р̶͇͍̈̆͋о̷̨̝̺̪̥̱̹̫̦̝̝̥͚̺͐̓͋̾͒̋̏͐̈́͌̊̎͜͝з̶̧̡̹̜̪̟̭̤͚̤͎̳̓̉͋͘ͅо̷̨̦̋в̸̙̙̑ͅо̵͓̹̲͕͈̫͇̤̾̄̐͊͑̅͗̌͌̅͘ city-centre

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 year ago

"What's with the fava beans and that nice bottle of chianti?"

[–] jcdenton@lemy.lol 10 points 1 year ago

Must enjoy ice cold baths!

[–] bappity@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Porka_911@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

It says London. Odd it's in Cyrillic script.

[–] Ryan213@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Hey, that's me! I have both lungs/kidneys, even heart rhythm, don't smoke, drink, etc. Where's...NOHAOH?

[–] Porka_911@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 year ago

Handcuffs first date, I'm out

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

If you leave out the hardworking those standards are actually quite low

[–] levmyskin@feddit.it 5 points 1 year ago

Way too suspiciously specific

[–] hlqxz@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago

Well one more reason to do drugs

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

high value bearer bond life insurance also a plus.