this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 135 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"What's with all the bags of ice?"

[–] DrugsMcChrist@lemmy.ml 44 points 11 months ago (1 children)

so you say you always bring an empty cooler with you on a first date. that's interesting

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Takes off all clothes to get ready for some love making .... "What? You want me to wash my body first? .... OK?" ....everything goes black

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

"Why does everything smell like iodine and pine needles..... /slump

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Last thought before passing out, "awe, I'm going to miss out on all the sex."

[–] lugal@lemmy.ml 83 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Drop the bullshit and tell me your exact blood type

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 19 points 11 months ago

Nice try Dr Acula!

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 52 points 11 months ago

Partner for “life”.

[–] nevemsenki@lemmy.world 51 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Of all the things in that picture, what bothers me still is why only London written in cyrillic?

[–] PermanentlyJetlagged@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago

It’s the way Tinder renders. ‘Lives in’ shows up in the language/alphabet of the app of the creator of the profile, while all other headers are processed in the language of the viewer of the profile.

It actually serves as a decent trick for learning the language settings on the app of a person who’s profile you’re viewing.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago

You know what, same.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

She didn't ask for him to have a job

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or be over 6'. You have a point.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Organ dealers don’t see height 🥺😍

[–] tubaruco@lemm.ee 13 points 11 months ago

they dont care about appearance, what they do care about is whats inside!

[–] konalt@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Watch out, or she'll fix you

[–] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The benefits of having a gf surgin

[–] EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

If she's surgin' for cash, she may bring in a surgeon to grab your kidneys

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

goes on date

Man- "lets play a game, i tell you what i like about you and you tell me what you like about me.

Olga- "how valuable your are to me" (whispers under her breath) "economalicly"

[–] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Eh more of a operation guy tbh

[–] faintwhenfree@lemmus.org 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Economalicaly, haha pure gold

[–] howsetheraven@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Alright guys, you get one more try.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 11 months ago

(pssst, I think the misspellings are actually intentionally part of the joke)

[–] fluckx@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sounds more like a "till death do us part" rather than a long time partner to me :/

[–] phx@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

"lifetime" partner :-)

[–] _number8_@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

must reside within 5 hectares of the М̷̩̦̩͕̆̈́̇̊о̶̡͉̱̺͉̦̐̍̍͗̋р̶͇͍̈̆͋о̷̨̝̺̪̥̱̹̫̦̝̝̥͚̺͐̓͋̾͒̋̏͐̈́͌̊̎͜͝з̶̧̡̹̜̪̟̭̤͚̤͎̳̓̉͋͘ͅо̷̨̦̋в̸̙̙̑ͅо̵͓̹̲͕͈̫͇̤̾̄̐͊͑̅͗̌͌̅͘ city-centre

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 10 points 11 months ago

"What's with the fava beans and that nice bottle of chianti?"

[–] jcdenton@lemy.lol 10 points 11 months ago
[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 9 points 11 months ago

Must enjoy ice cold baths!

[–] bappity@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Porka_911@sopuli.xyz 2 points 11 months ago

It says London. Odd it's in Cyrillic script.

[–] Ryan213@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Hey, that's me! I have both lungs/kidneys, even heart rhythm, don't smoke, drink, etc. Where's...NOHAOH?

[–] Porka_911@sopuli.xyz 7 points 11 months ago

Handcuffs first date, I'm out

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 6 points 11 months ago

If you leave out the hardworking those standards are actually quite low

[–] levmyskin@feddit.it 5 points 11 months ago

Way too suspiciously specific

[–] hlqxz@lemmy.ml 5 points 11 months ago

Well one more reason to do drugs

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

high value bearer bond life insurance also a plus.