this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] mdd@lemm.ee 143 points 1 month ago (2 children)

EU citizenship with no hassle?

Hell yes!

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes, sign me up. I'm ready. Right now. Seriously. Do they want money?

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 43 points 1 month ago

This would be the biggest mass migration to California since the last one.

[–] darklamer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

No hassle? I think you severely underestimate the effort required to learn Danish.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wouldn't be the first bilingual EU country.

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[–] nobody158@sh.itjust.works 115 points 1 month ago (14 children)

Can they buy oregon and Washington too?

[–] TallonMetroid@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

As a Cali expat in Washington I approve of this.

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

I'm sure we could work out a buy 2 get 1 free deal

[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't forget Colorado, we have lots of drugs!

[–] Tyfud@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

As a Coloradoan, I approve of being sold to Denmark.

[–] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

I support this sale.

[–] ChillPenguin@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I volunteer Minnesota as well.

[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Wisconsinite here. I'm hoping the great lakes area is occupied by Canada after we lose WW3.

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[–] Takeshidude@lemmy.world 48 points 1 month ago

Don't threaten me with a good time

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes! California native here. We accept.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 13 points 1 month ago

$1 is a pretty good deal.

They should have charged, honestly.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

California accepts denmark's bid. Please.

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 9 points 4 weeks ago

Honestly Washington State is the one I'd buy, but given the weird conservative obsession with beating up on California you can probably get a better deal.

[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 1 month ago

Lets go Danes!

[–] tunetardis@lemmy.ca 27 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Darn, I was kind of hoping for a viking raid of Mar-a-Lago followed by some pillaging up and down the gulf coast. Get some pirates back in the Caribbean and rename the Gulf to something even more obnoxious.

[–] BillTongg@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, the vikings reached the east coast of what is now Canada in around the year 1,000, but they were Norwegians, not Danes. They never got any further than New Brunswick, but who knows, if they visited Florida perhaps they would have stayed...

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[–] iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

"I, for one, welcome our new Viking overlords."

edit: "

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

still ain't gonna win a super bowl.

[–] A_cook_not_a_chef@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Why do you hurt me like this?

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I would kill for some hygge right now

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's not very hygge of you.

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] meowmeowbeanz@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The sheer absurdity of this "news" piece perfectly encapsulates the late-stage capitalism circus we’re trapped in. A real estate fire sale of cultural landmarks? Only in a world where oligarchs treat nations like Monopoly properties and influencers mistake clickbait for journalism. Hollywood’s already a hollowed-out shell of corporate algorithms—selling it to Denmark would at least spare us another superhero reboot.

Propaganda outlets peddling geopolitical fanfiction while actual democracies crumble? Classic misdirection. Meanwhile, the same clowns who’d auction Yellowstone to Saudi princes for a tax break are now cosplaying as statesmen. It’s not satire anymore—it’s a diagnostic manual for civilizational collapse.

Social media’s algorithmic abyss keeps amplifying this narcissistic delirium until reality itself becomes a glitchy deepfake. Unplug the servers before someone Tweets Greenland into the ocean.

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[–] sundrei@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Yes please. If you could finalize the deal before April 15 that would be very helpful.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ok so the Danes get the west, Canada gets the north, Mexico gets as much of the south as they want, and the rest can be The United States Of Trump until it gets destroyed

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Can you give some back to the First Nations people?

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

Sorry, we're still only breaking treaties.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I wish. Unfortunately none of the governments staking claims give a shit about them.

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[–] FoolishSage@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I hope they change the name to Hyggewood

This just in population of California grows by approx. 277 million people.

[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What’s hygge

Edit: that warm cozy feeling

[–] BastingChemina@slrpnk.net 11 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Maybe France would be interested to buy back Louisiana as well.

This is the "Louisiana" they sold: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/57/Louisiana_Purchase.png/1600px-Louisiana_Purchase.png

[–] Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 weeks ago

The Louisiana refund

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[–] littlewonder@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

I like how this underscores what a joke they think Trump is.

[–] gonzo-rand19@moist.catsweat.com 11 points 1 month ago

Can I offer you some hygge in these trying times?

[–] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 4 weeks ago

Friendly reminder that there are quite a few red states that literally would not survive without the tax revenue from California propping them up.

[–] SiblingNoah@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Please! Please do it!

[–] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Noite_Etion@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Please let this happen.

I wanna carve out Philly and submit myself to whichever EU nation is willing to take us. We voted against the fascist by double digit margin, and in the last mayoral democratic primary, a pluality of us voted for the progressive candidates (but the votes split on two of the progressive democrats so they both lost, thanks FPTP).

[–] ZMonster@lemmy.world 7 points 4 weeks ago

The pitch is a bitter response to President Trump's plan to purchase Greenland, which Denmark currently owns.

Jesus titty fucking christ how obliviously ignorant do you have to be to not realize the satirical nature-...

the-sun.com

Oh, nvm when will the boomers fucking die already

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