this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] monsdar@infosec.pub 92 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Git default branch renamed back from main to master

[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

and all the others start with "slave/"

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago

Merge me senpai

[–] phcorcoran@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

(Someone else made it but I can't find the source)

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[–] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 81 points 1 week ago (1 children)

reverting main back to master

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yeah...this one is sadly on brand

[–] undefinedValue@programming.dev 45 points 1 week ago (16 children)

Sadly? Master branch never implied the existence of a slave branch. It was one of the dumbest pieces of woke incursion into tech.

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

It was kind of pointless, but at least it made software work with custom default branches.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Yes exactly. It’s a reference to the recording industry’s practice of calling the final version of an album the “master” which gets sent for duplication.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In alignment with this, we should not replace the master branch with the main branch, we should replace it with the gold branch.

Every time a PR gets approval and it’s time to merge, I could declare that the code has “gone gold” and I am not doing that right now!

[–] ramjambamalam@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 week ago

Merged -> gone gold

Deployed -> gone platinum

Gone a week without crashing production -> triple platinum

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[–] ramjambamalam@lemmy.ca 71 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)
  • Push directly to master, not main
  • No command line args, just change the global const and recompile
  • No env vars either
  • Port numbers only go up to 5280, the number of feet in a mile
  • All auth is just a password; tokens are minority developers, not auth, and usernames are identity politics
  • No hashes – it's the gateway drug to fentanyl
  • No imports. INTERNAL DEVELOPERS FIRST
  • Exceptions are now illegal and therefore won't occur, so no need to check for them
  • SOAP/XML APIs only
  • No support for external machines. If it's good enough for my machine, it's good enough for yours.
[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 17 points 1 week ago

Exceptions are now illegal and therefore won't occur, so no need to check for them

Ah, I see you've met C++ developers.

[–] excral@feddit.org 8 points 1 week ago

No command line args, just change the global const and recompile

Nah, don't use global variables, magic values everywhere. And don't use const whatsoever, we need to move fast and break things, we can't let something immutable stop us

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[–] shortrounddev@lemmy.world 58 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Main branches will be renamed Master

[–] spongeborgcubepants@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (11 children)

GTFOH with that. 1-indexed arrays?! You monster.

(Mostly joking... Ok, somewhat joking :P )

[–] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 50 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Lua had been banned from the chat

[–] pelya@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

In Lua all arrays are just dictionaries with integer keys, a[0] will work just fine. It's just that all built-in functions will expect arrays that start with index 1.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago

Your argument isn't making me any happier - it just fills me with more rage.

[–] my_hat_stinks@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's slightly misleading, I think. There are no arrays in Lua, every Lua data structure is a table (sometimes pretending to be something else) and you can have anything as a key as long as it's not nil. There's also no integers, Lua only has a single number type which is floating point. This is perfectly valid:

local tbl = {}
local f = function() error(":(") end

tbl[tbl] = tbl
tbl[f] = tbl
tbl["tbl"] = tbl

print(tbl)
-- table: 0x557a907f0f40
print(tbl[tbl], tbl[f], tbl["tbl"])
-- table: 0x557a907f0f40	table: 0x557a907f0f40	table: 0x557a907f0f40

for key,value in pairs(tbl) do
  print(key, "=", value)
end
-- tbl	=	table: 0x557a907f0f40
-- function: 0x557a907edff0	=	table: 0x557a907f0f40
-- table: 0x557a907f0f40	=	table: 0x557a907f0f40

print(type(1), type(-0.5), type(math.pi), type(math.maxinteger))
-- number	number	number	number
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[–] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago

Fortran angrily starts typing...

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[–] MTK@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Error handling should only be with "if"

Variable names must be generic and similar to each-other

Debugging is only done with prints

Version numbers must be incoherent, hard to order correctly, contain letters and jump in ways that don't align with the updates done.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Single letters or UTF8 symbols only. Emojis are encouraged.

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[–] NOT_RICK_SANCHEZ@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

He’s got to be in contact with the CEO of my company, this is trade secret theft if not…

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

MAGA - Make Assembly Great Again

[–] moody@lemmings.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

From this point on, all arrays are reverse-indexed.

[–] filcuk@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

Hey now, you know that according to the Bible the biggest number is a million. Anything larger than that including infinity is some of that "woke shit".

Your array will be 999,999, 999,998, 999,997 ...

[–] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

NGL, this kind of form of putting the decisions the monkey-in-charge is making in a way experts in a field will understand, is a very good way to showcase the absurdity.

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[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Am I The only one that sees the tie as yellow in this photo?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Halfway to Lua lol

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 9 points 1 week ago

I don't get why only four of these are jokes

[–] tgm@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Haven't heard of the stack address thing, anyone got a TLDR on the topic?

[–] gnutrino@programming.dev 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

https://softwareengineering.stackexchange.com/questions/386194/why-do-we-still-grow-the-stack-backwards

TL;DR: For historical reasons stacks growing down is defined in hardware on some CPUs (notably x86). On other CPUs like some ARM chips for example you (or more likely your compiler's developer) can technically choose which direction stacks go but not conforming to the historical standard is the choice of a madman.

[–] Kidplayer_666@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that it’s something a long the lines of “stack begins high, grows down, while heap behind low grows high” when they meet, it’s a stack overflow

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[–] notabot@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago

I started reading that from the top and got increasingly angry on the way down. That creature is a monster.

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