this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
1009 points (98.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

20441 readers
2655 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

See the post on BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/provisionalidea.bsky.social/post/3lhujtm2qkc2i

According to many comments, the US government DOES use SQL, and Musk is not understanding much what's going on.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Tetragrade@leminal.space 7 points 46 minutes ago* (last edited 46 minutes ago)

Sounds like he got confused looking at a view of a join.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 1 points 2 minutes ago
[–] ansiz@lemmy.world 19 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

If SSN based fraud is the program then let's establish an actual federal identification number. Even the Social Services bureau tried to get everyone to not use it as the end all source of truth. They only created it for social security benefits, literally only that purpose.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 48 minutes ago

They should just publish every SSN at once with names. That'll make them useless as "secret" numbers and useful as identifiers.

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 4 points 57 minutes ago

https://xcancel.com/elonmusk/status/1889062581848944961

thought the replies would be better. Some people deducted that it uses plain text.

[–] Jonnynny@lemm.ee 46 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

He got community-noted for being wrong. Per usual, it's only a matter of time before he deletes his post.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 17 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

More likely, he'll delete the community note

[–] AstridWipenaugh@lemmy.world 3 points 9 minutes ago (1 children)

More likely, he'll delete the database.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 1 points 2 minutes ago

Shit, I'd love for him to delete the twitter databases

[–] dragonlobster@programming.dev 28 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

It's hard to figure out what he's talking about , when he says the "whole social security database". Like in which tables are they duplicated? Does it mean the entire row is duplicated or just the SSN, it might make sense to be duplicated depending on the schema. Is it an append only db, so there might be updated columns on the same ssn and you need to filter by the latest update timestamp? Who knows.

But also, saying that there's a "social security database" and then following that up by the govt "doesn't use SQL" so.. the db is actually just a spreadsheet? A .txt file? The SSNs are just written down in someone's notebook? Lol

[–] frezik@midwest.social 10 points 52 minutes ago (1 children)

SSNs are reused. Someone dies and their number gets reassigned. The database could easily be keeping track of all previous assignments for any given SSN.

Remember, SSNs are designed for social security and nothing else. They got picked up as a unique ID by private interests as a hack. They were never supposed to be as widespread in use as they are. The federal government using it this way is the specific, designed use case.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 26 minutes ago

Yep, and any attempt to replace them with a purpose designed government ID has gotten conspiracy nuts to shut it down

It’s LotusNotes all the way down

[–] iii@mander.xyz 3 points 2 hours ago

Or mongoDB 🙄

Probably something bespoke/legacy.

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 13 points 2 hours ago

Of course. Everyone who's ever used a DB knows it's BS. As long as the data is structured - which it a) is because he was able to make assertions about it and b) fucking Excel files are enough - it CAN be imported and SQL'd on. Even Excel has built in support for fuck's sake, not to mention Python and PowerQuery.

The dude is a self-certified moron - he probably struggles with the concept of PKI, too.

[–] Rubanski@lemm.ee 7 points 2 hours ago (6 children)

Ok genuine question, what is the difference between a SQL database and a simple Excel spreadsheet?

[–] OrnateLuna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

People yell at you if you use an excel spreadsheet as a database

[–] moseschrute@lemmy.world 2 points 59 minutes ago (2 children)

Does anyone yell if I use SQL?

[–] Wiz@midwest.social 2 points 51 minutes ago

Only the programmers that have to run queries in it because that's their job. 😭

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 1 points 56 minutes ago

only is its sqlite.

[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 24 minutes ago

Storage data structures. Database tables are designed for fast read/write. Excel is designed for fast simultaneous parallel computation.

To get a sense of what this looks like, you can read more about their data structures; Databases typically store data in what's called a "B Tree" and spreadsheets typically store as a format that can be easily converted into a "Directed Acyclic Graph" (although Excel lets you turn off the "acyclic" part if you allow circular references).

Although, with Excel specifically, there's probably not much difference since it has some database functionality now.

[–] iii@mander.xyz 9 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 55 minutes ago) (2 children)

In the context of this tweet most important differences are:

SQL is a language for querying databases.

Most common used databases are relational databases. With relational databases you can setup, well, relations and constraints.

Imagine you have 2 tables (2 excel sheets) one with people, and one with home ownership. You can set the following constraint: (1) each person shows up only once in the people table. And the following relation: (2) every home owner must refer to an existing person in people table.

When modifying the table contents, the system checks if no constraints or relations are violated.

Excel, just like a badly designed relational databse, would, for example, have no problem with duplicate people, or home ownership referring to non-existant people.

[–] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 1 points 56 minutes ago

I spent more than I'd like to admit wondering "what the fuck is a wel relation?!"

[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

I get what you say but excel even the 98 version can do duplicate/missing data constraints.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 1 points 40 minutes ago

A whole lot. Too much to cover in one post in any kind of detail.

A modern relational database management system (RDBMS) is a highly optimized beast. How it accesses storage is very carefully considered. It has a whole mini language for defining relations between data. There are tools for debugging specific queries to make them faster. They index data with tradeoffs between read and write speeds. There are sophisticated locking mechanisms so multiple users can read and write at the same time. They have transactions where many alterations can be packed up together and written efficiently at once. Those transactional alterations are atomic, meaning there are guarantees that all of them happen or none of them happen. The entire thing is based on set theory, and it has survived attacks by many other pretenders to the throne for decades.

And if you're using Oracle, you can get all that while paying a highly optimized pricing model set up by the best financial advisors Larry Ellison can find to maximize value extraction from your company.

[–] mossberg590@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

SQL is a language used to manage and interact with most relational databases so it is used often to describe relational databases. There are many tables in a relational database, each is very much like an excel tab. The excel spreadsheet can have many tabs relating to each other. So kinda similar. However a relational database is better defined, more functions and forced relationships, and most important space efficenct. Excel takes probably 100-1000 times more space, and that is best case.

[–] Covenant@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 hours ago

The amount of data, sql is designed to manage large datasets, millions of rows. Excel has its limits.

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

He used to be regarded as tony stark. Nah he is Justin Hammer. Steals ideas implements them shit and has no idea about anything

[–] TBi@lemmy.world 8 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I get your point but I disagree. I think both Tony Stark and Justin Hammer are more competent than Elon.

Hammer was no where near as good as Tony but he did make some good stuff.

I would say he’s more like Obadiah Stane, an opportunist taking credit for others work.

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 hour ago

True. Atleast Hammer knew his weapons and could sell them alone

[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

He is like tony stark in a timeline where Tony stark decided to join the terrorists instead of building the suit to escape. Oh and in this timeline Tony Starks brain has been rotted away by ketamine

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 hours ago

Yeah. That is Hammer

[–] ParlaMint@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 hours ago

The worst kind of stupid doesn't need to learn about databases because it's just common sense.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 25 points 4 hours ago (8 children)

"Our databases only store in RAM because I AM THE ELECTRICITY BATTERY MASTER"

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] umbraroze@lemmy.world 48 points 5 hours ago

Whenever Elon speaks of programming, he just spouts the most delusional Point-Haired Boss bullshit imaginable. Truly, he has been promoted to the level of his incompetence.

(It is also highly ironic considering the Dilbert creator's politics.)

load more comments
view more: next ›