this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
337 points (96.2% liked)

Not The Onion

11589 readers
1072 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
all 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Th4tGuyII@kbin.social 104 points 9 months ago

I feel like there's a certain irony in someone who grew up poor, likely eating the cheapest tomato sauce available, selling $13 jars of tomato sauce to the very place he grew up in

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 80 points 9 months ago (1 children)

$13 per jar? Fuck all the way off.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 30 points 9 months ago (5 children)

It is a momento to collect, like a concert tshirt or your first condom.

[–] Kandorr@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

You don't like old gum?

[–] Stanard@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

They said "It is a momento to collect, like a concert tshirt".

[–] Lev_Astov@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Look at this guy who doesn't buy merch...

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 9 months ago

this would honestly make more sense if it was just a labelled empty jar, but when they put actual sauce in it stops being a novelty item and starts being food, and 13 bucks for a jar of sauce is hilarious

[–] OrangeJoe@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So then you are really just paying for the label?

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 8 points 9 months ago

Of course, just like most branded goods.

[–] Defectus@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Now I wonder where my forst condom ended up. Certainly I didn't use it.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 54 points 9 months ago (2 children)

He's gotta make up for all the money he lost on NFTs.

[–] 0000000nowhere@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] snooggums@kbin.social 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

There's vomit on his NFTs already.

[–] Poayjay@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

I haven’t watched cable in years. I was at a hotel once flipping through the channels and I came across the Vh1 music awards. Eminem and some other dude did a while music video showcasing board apes. It was super cringe. It’s one thing to sell out. I expect every celebrity to leverage their name for a little money. It’s a completely different story to try and promote a failed pyramid scheme.

[–] Mostly_Gristle@lemmy.world 31 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Why do I feel like this would just be a jar of unseasoned tomato paste with some cigarette ash mixed in?

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

...you don't like extra cancer spice in your sauce?

[–] scottywh@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

More likely to just be Ragu... With some cigarette ash mixed in.

[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

And some crushed vicodin sprinkled on the top

[–] OrangeJoe@lemm.ee 28 points 9 months ago

This has been quite an exciting past few years in pasta

Well then. Neat.

[–] ArugulaZ@kbin.social 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Imagine going up to Eminem and saying, "I had Yo Mama's spaghetti!" Twenty years ago, you wouldn't have had a jaw afterwards.

[–] uphillbothways@kbin.social 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Cuz it had dropped to the floor from a scathing limerick possibly involving a sweater?

[–] slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door?

[–] Synthead@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I love this! I wonder what all the fuss is about. I'll have to try some.

[–] Knusper@feddit.de 20 points 9 months ago

Well, if it sold out within hours, I doubt anyone bought it for the taste...

[–] Dewded@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago
[–] CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world 1 points 9 months ago

Guaranteed to make to vomit on your sweater.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 0 points 9 months ago

Mom's Spaghetti Pasta Sauce is sold in 25-ounce jars for $13 each or two for $25."We developed this sauce, Mom's spaghetti and the Sghetti sandwich," Catallo of Union Joints said. "We started having fun with it and seeing where it will take us ever since."

Sghetti sandwich. Sghetti wrestling? Someone tell James Cameron that we need to raid the bar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W76D67Xs5l0

Also, I clearly should have become a white rapper so I could sell bullshit for hundreds of times markup to dolts.