this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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Cory Booker, known mainly from his child acting career in "Cory in the House", has been straight joinking and gerking for 21 hours straight in protest of Donald Trump. Insiders tell us that he has spent the whole day moving between increasingly esoteric erotica. According to his staff, he is now using a rolling pin to flatten his dick into a sheet while watching pregnant male roleplay on a v1.13 minecraft server set to extreme survival mode.

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[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago
[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

holy shit he just busted. The janitors are slicing sections of the carpet off with knives and putting them in bodybags jesus christ

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

A stray drop fucking pulverized dick durbin’s eye jfc I TOLD Cory not to add the furry pooltoy transformation art into the goonfolder

[–] GoebbelsDeezNuts@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

the libs on bluesky are being really annoying about this

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Bro really went on bluesky and then complained about the people on bluesky

[–] puckylinky@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago

God this trash can smells awful

I've twice posting links to bad takes on c/slop (the comm for posting bad takes) WITH CWs describing the takes in question, only to have people complaining that I made them see bad takes.

I think people have embraced the idea that free will doesn't really exist (probably true) too much and now expect society to deterministically lead them down a primrose path where they're never even given the option to make a(n even minorly) bad choice.

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago

My god, someone call the Parliament Funkadelican!

[–] edge@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

He's gonna filibust any moment now.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 19 points 1 day ago
[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago
[–] TrustedFeline@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think David Blaine should run for senate

[–] Xenomorph@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago

Oh I love this! He could levitate some old ass senator binch three inches off the floor then drop them shattering every bone in their body because they're 101 years old.

[–] spudnik@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

Change the laws or procedures or whatever so that filibustering only counts if you are confined within a small plexiglass cube suspended over the Senate floor

[–] turmoil@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

Kamala to Cory: volcel-kamala

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The people cried out for a hero and he didn't come.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

he'll get there.. he gerkin

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago
[–] anindefinitearticle@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Pretty sure that's Key from Key and Peele

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

dude is totally tweeking hard