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submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by frippa@lemmy.ml to c/linkedinlunatics@sh.itjust.works

Seriously, "Ensure the CEO sleeps before a certain time"

With all those skills, tasks and resposabilites they're asking for a fucking full-stack babysitter...

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[-] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 108 points 7 months ago

How is a person who can't manage their own meals and bedtime able to manage a company?

[-] frippa@lemmy.ml 61 points 7 months ago

As per the post it's a shit coin company; the "CEO" is gonna work at McDonald's in a couple of ~~years~~ months.

[-] SlikPikker@lemmy.ca 23 points 7 months ago

It's almost like the management class are mainly unproductive parasites who can't wipe their own asses.

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Tbf it looks very suspicious, Malaysia, No family, no place of residency, coin something....

This type of jobs do exist but no company would look for this kind of job with so much responsability and access to sensitive information on likedin. Those type of jobs are either internal promotion or head hunted with classified information until later in the interview process

[-] elvith@feddit.de 82 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Any chance, that this CEO just got divorced and has no motivation to work and wants you to replace his wife and do his and his wifes tasks?

maid-like tasks as needed

Uhm… so, about that…

[-] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 51 points 7 months ago

The "no family or personal committments" part is even more concerning I think.

[-] Very_Bad_Janet@kbin.social 13 points 7 months ago

Is that even legal to state?

[-] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 7 months ago

I think as a requirement it wouldn't be an enforceable in a contract, which is why they're referring to it as a preference or suggestion.

[-] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 8 points 7 months ago

If this is real, someone's bound to do it. Probably pays well, good travel, and basically write what you want on your resume. Just quit before the inevitable sexual harassment starts.

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

More likely, Mommy and Daddy cut him off from their staff because of too many payoffs.

[-] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 73 points 7 months ago

"CoinClan"
Yeah, some time in the not so distant future, that paycheck is gonna bounce.

[-] frippa@lemmy.ml 35 points 7 months ago

But heeeyyyy! You can get paid in their shitcoin that will totally be worth more than an infinitesimal fraction of a cent, just two more weeks!

[-] Thrashy@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

I'd only consider the position if I could figure out a way to manipulate the CEO into executing a rugpull that I engineered to my benefit...

[-] Th4tGuyII@kbin.social 44 points 7 months ago

Starts off reasonable, drives off the cliff of down right crazy, all for the price of a "competitive salary"

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 43 points 7 months ago

This is listed as "remote"? How would this even remotely be accomplished if not in person? That CEO is gonna be under CPS soon.

[-] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 48 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Remote is the "hottest" section of job sites, so stupid companies will list every job under "remote" on the off chance that someone looking for remote work will accept non remote work.

The shittier ones will even tell you its remote up until the interviews, when it will suddenly be "hybrid" remote, i.e not remote.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Hybrid 99.9̅% in-office

[-] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 39 points 7 months ago

So they basically are getting the CEO job without getting compensated properly since they are "just" PA level. Fantastic.

[-] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 7 months ago

Pretty much every PA

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 38 points 7 months ago

Not just that but it sounds like a trafficking scam. No friends or family: wtaf?!

[-] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

It weirdly says "remote". 🤔

[-] floofloof@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 months ago

You will be, once they've abducted you.

[-] StereoTrespasser@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago

So this guy basically needs a full-time mother.

[-] Delphia@lemm.ee 25 points 7 months ago

It mostly reads as "extreme" but fair enough for a very well paid PA with a company credit card until you get to the compensation. Then its idiotic.

This is a job description for 2 people making $100,000 each. Or one insane person who wants to make $200k.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago

These are things any able person does for themselves.

[-] Delphia@lemm.ee 16 points 7 months ago

Ok lets just set aside that this particular job listing is bullshit.

Hypothetically if your rich and travel alot for work its not unreasonable that you might not have time to find a gym and a trainer yourself. Organising the meals isnt unreasonable, if by that you mean finding a chef, making sure the hotels menu is sufficient and so on.

The bed time one sounds like B.S but if you're the kind of person who gets caught up on projects and then realises its 3am, its not ridiculous either.

Like I said, Im pretty sure this listing is for an absolutely insane person. But at least it sets clear expectations.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Most of these can be solved by either setting an alarm or reading.

Nobody this helpless is staying up until 3 AM doing anything useful.

[-] Delphia@lemm.ee 10 points 7 months ago

How many times do I have to qualify that I dont think this is someone who is legit?

Personal Assistants exist so that people who have the means (probably not this guy) dont have to do mundane shit like remember to set alarms and if they are willing to adequately compensate someone for that level of work (which this twit isnt) then go for it.

If I won the lottery, Id have a housekeeper and a lawn guy because although I now dont have anything better to do, I still dont want to do that shit.

If someone wants to offer me $200k a year to handle all his mundane shit and water his bonsai with EXACTLY 30ml of water every 2 days my response would be "Tap, filtered or demineralised?" not "why dont you do it your fucking self?"

[-] adrian783@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

housekeeper, lawn guy, bug guy, handyman. (basically a residence team for each of my properties as I might travel often). nutritional team, personal training team, and a traveling personal assistant.

doctors on retainer too.

what else am I missing?

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago
[-] oleorun@real.lemmy.fan 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

CEOs are a special breed of narcissist. They can't feel important unless they know someone else is essentially sacrificing his or her or their life for a self-important douchenozzle.

[-] Rooty@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)
  • Ensure that the CEO is burped after every meal.
  • Make a nappy check on CEO every half hour and change accordingly.
  • Provide the entertainment in the form of peek-a-boo and "got your nose" games.
  • Put CEO in bed ahead of schedule in the case of late evening temper tantrums.
[-] ech@lemm.ee 12 points 7 months ago

Just missing "Make sure to wipe promptly so as to avoid rashes". Fucking hell.

this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
265 points (97.8% liked)

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