I thought this was going to be a 5 years later we are married and she thinks I like poop story
this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2025
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Tell her "sorry, I'm only into girls, and girls don't poop" then block her
Oh shit, the poop test. Clever!
Two literal shitposters - and they found each other
She was thinking omg he has the same kink as I do.
Kinky girl with a heart of gold and panties of brown.
Homeboy found the keeper of all keepers, if she'll share poopix, she'll probably do all sorts of stuff, she's just waiting for her moment to shine!
And that's how I met your mother.
what's a girl gotta do besides being dead nice
Poo vids, sounds like.
Suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
For some straight guys and gay ladies a girl could be mean to them and that'd increase how much they want them.
That's a fairly small subset though.
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She’s a keeper
I'm literally shitting right now y'all.
Lemmy is place for every type of character:
Vids or it didn't happen.
You trying to see me paint the bowl? I'd just take my word for it if I was you.
If you're starting to paint it red, you might want to send it to your doctor.
If you start to paint it black, you might be The Rolling Stones
How would you rate your shit?
Bog standard sit down and let 'er rip.
I've never seen a more perfect use of bog standard
Cool, but please don't send the video.
I wouldn't check your DMs then.
agreed
Every night in my DMs.
I see poo, I feel poo.
That is how I know you, go poop.
Far across the distance.
And spaces between us.
You have come to show you, go poop.
Near, fart, wherever you are.
I believe that the shart does go on.
Once more you open the back door.
And you're here in my heart and my heart will go poo and poo.
If in your world "sending a video of pooping" is not synonymous with "hurting someones feelings", then I am not even sure what to say.
It sure is a fucking insane thing to do
The real ones aren't the ones you think you want
And suddenly he is feeling it again...
I mean I guess if you do something that fucked up and get the same response you probably found your actual soulmate
or someone who is trying very hard
Don't get too pushy. You might get hemorrhoids
One time, I was on the phone with my ex, and they narrated writing on the side of the toilet bowl with their own poo. It was incredibly vivid, and I was legitimately disgusted. He added emphasis and storytelling. I sat there and protested, completely unaware his mom did colonoscopies, and he was unfazed by the mention of poop.
One quote that always stuck with me is, "shit in a bag feels like play-doh."
To this day, I pray to God that may not answer, that he was joking.
I mean, shit in a bag does feel like play-doh sometimes.
Source: have a dog
Warm play-doh unfortunately
Analogies are cursed. They can paint so vivid a picture you wish you were illiterate.
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ITT: I've found home. Y'all are my peeps.
Ten minutes is the real question mark for me. Was it just kismet that she had one in the holster like that?
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