this post was submitted on 12 May 2025
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honestly, as a nothing happens bro, I think he's gonna live to 85

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[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 7 points 4 hours ago

When you think about it gravity is a natural cause. gui

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 39 points 9 hours ago

He, like every other ghoul, will live a long happy life. He'll be surrounded crowds of sycophants and admirers. Conservatives will hold him with the esteem they do Reagan now. Dems will soften and recuperate him. His legacy will be secured, and he'll never pay for any of his crimes. He won't have a guilty conscience about any of it.

This is because the world is unjust.

[–] hogslayer@hexbear.net 11 points 8 hours ago

He'll live into his fuckin' 90's like his dad.

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 18 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I still think a golf cart crash that was all his own fault would be the funniest and impossible for his fans to try and spin as some Q hidden proof thing

That or he puts on a garish military parade with a flyover and he gets rotor'd up by a crashing V-22 or an F-35 falls out of the sky directly on top of him nose down like an anvil falling in Looney Tunes

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 5 points 5 hours ago

a crashing V-22 or an F-35 falls out of the sky directly on top of him nose down like an anvil falling in Looney Tunes

There is always hope.

[–] HoiPolloi@hexbear.net 13 points 9 hours ago

He's going to live longer than Kissinger and die in an accident that his supporters will think is a deep state assassination.

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 15 points 9 hours ago

he will die once my psychic attacks of bad energy reach him

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 29 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

He'll live to be 120 with his all Big Mac diet.

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 29 points 10 hours ago

There's a tipping point where preservatives stop being bad for you and make you stronger

He passed it long ago

[–] stinky7@hexbear.net 20 points 10 hours ago

every burger he eats adds one second to his lifespan

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 17 points 10 hours ago

No way anyone shoots him now, this timeline isn't cool enough for something like that to happen.

[–] blame@hexbear.net 15 points 10 hours ago

the miserable ones last the longest

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 16 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

His cognitive status is going to shit, but also like...seems like he's getting around ok for someone his age. Better than Biden did, anyways.

So yeah, pretty much, no fuckin idea shrug-outta-hecks

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 2 points 5 hours ago

I don't keep up with his appearances enough to know if this is the case, but Dave Anthony regularly brings up on their patron chats that you don't see Trump standing as much; It's almost always sit down interviews nowadays.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 12 points 10 hours ago

His dad died at 93

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 6 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

He is the great chosen of god. He doesn't sleep and he says he will never die.

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 12 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

He's gonna die from fake tan chemicals and burger meat, but they'll call it natural causes.

Funniest outcome is he's already dead and the one we have now is a deepfake.