Ok, so this was a lot funnier than I would have expected. I love absurdist humor and this caught me by surprise.
this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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I hope the horse was alright though
Of course he is! He's with Jeebus now.
He's feeding dogs in heaven now. Also here on earth too.
He's moved on to another plane.
they asked him if he wanted to jump. he said, "neigh"
this is a clear case of horse-icide.
*another plain. Where the grass is greenest
Bye bye lil Sebastian
You're 5000 candles in the wind...
Step one, cover horse's eyes and plug ears. Step 2, walk horse onto large airplane. Step 3, get said airplane up into the air. Step 4, run with horse towards the open back end of airplane until the horse exits the vehicle. Step 5... Hold up, did we miss the one step where you would strap that large backpack over there to its back? Hmm. Step 6 purchase second horse, specifically a live one.
So is there like canonically a horse heaven?
Up in horsey heaven, here's the thing
You trade your legs for angels wings
And once we’ve all said good-bye
You take a running leap and you learn to fly
I think so. There's at least one horse god
Someone please feel free to enlighten me, but my horse riding friends say this is pretty fucked up and not something the horse would ever get used to.
When you read the headline you're thinking the parachute didn't open, but this raises the possibility that it just had a heart attack.
I think the problem may have been that a horse doesn't know how to pull the cord to deploy the parachute. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.
Oh, no, I think based on other articles the horse died of other causes. But the consensus amongst people I know is that this was just fucked up animal torture on some level.
Like, I'm fine if the horse was also fine and seemed into skydiving. I just have zero evidence of that.
This reminds me of the story of engineering students who wanted to test their parachute on the bunny mascot of their department. They threw the poor lagomorph from the top of a building.
The parachute held, the lil guy's heart did not.
I'm sure there's probably one horse somewhere who would actually enjoy skydiving, but I don't see an ethical way to find said horse.
Same with any activity really
Of course there is! Just ask him!
Horses do not get used to unfamiliar environments. They have an environment they like and anything else kinda stresses them out. They're big dumb skittish animals that long for quiet open fields of grass with nice firm rocky soil.
So yeah, taking a horse and throwing it on an aircraft would spook the bajesus out of it. Throwing it off again would probably scare it to death, if the landing, however gentle, doesn't kill it
I’m hoping that this is The Daily Mash or The Onion or something….it doesn’t even look like horses like it on roads.
It's satire yeah.
And they don't! But they'll put up with it if whoever the horse in charge is says it's ok.
To note, the horse in charge is very likely the guy on the horse's back. The horse does not seem to be confused by this arrangement.
There's no way that this is actually real right??
It's from clickhole iirc
Lol
And someday soon, once we’ve cleaned off and done some troubleshooting on the prototype horse parachute God Himself revealed to us in a vision,
"Briefly, but then he fumbled."
Did they accidentally give him the backpack full of camping supplies instead of the parachute?
No, they changed the pack colour for the camping stuff last time this happened. Unfortunately they forgot to change the pack colour for the portable anvil as well...
Pause?
Praise be to Sülde Tngri 🐴🐴🐴