this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
677 points (99.1% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] arc@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago

What an idiot. Everyone knows you can make yourself invulnerable to bullets with blessed magic amulets available on the internet.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He took this old skeptic joke and ran with it.

[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I thought this meme was made because of this post? I've certainly seen an older greentext of the same shit.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I saw it pre-gamergate (pre-elevatorgate even)) in skeptic groups, making fun of "immune strenghtening exercises", meaning you expose yourself to germs on purpose and it was supposed to boost your immune system in the long run, not needing vaccines at all.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Vaccines are immune strengthening exercises ...

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago

Fake : OP had some skin condition and took some pic of his leg, then just took a pic of the same leg wrapped up in something

Gay : OP admits to getting penetrated

[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 42 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Why is the nurse still on Qt 3.14?

[–] Coconut1233@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Technical debt; qt update in not a business priority and therefore not included in the KPIs

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

It was the last one that was pure c++, before they started playing around with all this QML stuff

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago

He should get her number to help her update. She'd probably be grateful.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 9 points 2 days ago

Because she's not a full gallon.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 131 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Imagine his embarrassment when the charcoal just neutralizes all the toxic mountain dew and energy drinks in his guts, his ulcers heal, digestion improves and he feels better with more energy and then decides to go out and take up surfing, where he meets a nice girl on the beach and they hit it off and eventually get married and raise a bunch of kids, then BAM outta nowhere, 27 years later, hit by a truck.

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 32 points 3 days ago (2 children)

God that's so fucking awesome lol, what a hero

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He'd get faster results from eating really old watches.

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[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 183 points 3 days ago (3 children)

These glimpses into the world of the stupid and mentally ill are as fascinating as they are disturbing.

[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 103 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Bro, did you not hear? One of the nurses was a QT3.14, he didn't get her digits, and she probably thinks he's highly regarded, but he saw her. Surely that counts for something

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 8 points 2 days ago

She's in Canada, you wouldn't know her.

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[–] MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wouldn't you feel like a fool if'n this guy figured out the secret and was out there taking 50 cal rounds to the face.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think he doesn't need a 50cal round to the face as his brain is already damaged enough.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you take a 50 cal round to the face and walk away from it with only brain damage, you should enter the lottery

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[–] oce@jlai.lu 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The writing is too coherent, it's 4chan stupid role play.

Which is still a sign of some mental illness, I'm sure.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 60 points 3 days ago (7 children)

I wonder what crayon flavor is his favorite

[–] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 4 points 1 day ago

Lead most likely.

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[–] hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 93 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

getting outraged over this nonsense says so much more about you than it does about OOP having a giggle.

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 42 points 3 days ago (16 children)

This is why democracy is doomed to failure.

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[–] lemmur@szmer.info 31 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Anon wins the greentext of the month prize.

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[–] krolden@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 days ago

A magical place

[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago

Darwin was right

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 8 points 2 days ago

You're supposed to shoot yourself in the foot.

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