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The American obsession with bathroom segregation is weird. In other countries, women will sometimes use the men's bathroom when there's a long line in front of the women's and not the men's. Fathers needing to change a diaper on their kid sometimes use the baby changing station in the women's bathroom if that's where it's located (though that's increasingly being fixed).

This is not something that requires excessive legislation if you can avoid obsessing over other people's genitals.

It's not about bathrooms, it's certainly not about "protecting" anyone. They do not give two shits about actual assaults against women and children.

It's about sending a political message, a threat against a marginalized group that can be demonized for not fitting social norms, but is also not strong enough or connected enough to push back and rile up public support. Something like saying "You're not allowed to use the bathroom" is a deeply personal and sensitive topic that will absolutely crush someone of any group and it's prone to not getting the public attention that it needs. I mean, who wants to talk about how they need to shit?

It's been wildly successful too, because the people who actually care spend all their time in social-media echo-chambers, even like this one, instead of doing community organization and activism. Even suggesting it will probably draw in opposition here from people who feel helpless. And yeah, they'll be right, it's much, much harder now because we didn't do this shit back when the playing field was more level and this was just 4-chan trolls and reddit communities and there wasn't billions of dollars invested in the success of the of the distraction-campaign.

We can still turn this around but we can't do it the same way. We have to fight far, far dirtier, we have to make bot-armies, troll accounts, we have to put ourselves at risk, we have to directly target efforts towards libs and neo-libs who maybe, sorta, kinda care about issues that impact other citizens, but need a swift kick in the ass to realize they're on the wrong side of history. We have to project the image of mass-support at any opportunity. When you are talking or arguing about these issues, you have to do the same thing they did, which is play up that your movement is gaining support and momentum broadly, not withering under blistering hate and capitalist efforts. We have to be less afraid of wild rhetoric and playing uncivil. Be less afraid of negative attention. We have to call people bad words and be less afraid of offending our own side, because there are a lot of people on our side who aren't really.

We have to actually argue with our shitty uncle and not "let it go." We have to make friends in real-space and we have to hang out in public and be seen and stand united against hateful monsters.

We have to be that group of San Diego citizens who SHAMED a bunch of modern klansmen (ICE agents) into retreating from their neighborhood.

All the hard shit. You have to do that. You have to get real social real fast. Yeah, it does suck.

Yeah! It’s why a lot of the times when I think about leaving the house, I just don’t! The stochastic terrorism has worked!

Many people I know with kids feel like the line is crossed when children are involved. Without kids it doesn't matter but once kids are involved in the bathroom then things get more sensitive

So stupid. There's a good stand up bit that covers it - https://youtube.com/shorts/jrBlC3q0Fwo

On a different side of the coin, the virtue signaling also bothers me. I was at a fast casual restaurant and went to use the bathroom and the sign on the door said "Gender neutral bathroom" and I was like "oh word, that's pretty progressive I like this place" and then I walked in and there's one toilet and a sink and the door locks. Motherfucker, that's just a bathroom. You don't need to specify "gender neutral" when it's a one-person bathroom. Fuck outa here.

I was at a George Thorogood concert and opened the door on a woman taking a shit in a portapotty. There were no lines so I just walked up and picked door number 2.

What I'm saying is I do care a little bit who's in there.

Because you might be a sexual predator, and a law banning trans people from bathrooms will definitely stop a rapist.

In other words, irrationality.

In the US, bathrooms didn't used to even have gender.

Yeah - my understanding was that there was a carve out explicitly for trans men with that UK ruling, which effectively meant its illegal for trans men to piss in either bathroom? We aren’t men, but we also can’t use the women’s.

My state doesn’t have bathroom laws yet - except for in schools (and my dumbass thought - science teacher shortage! if I’m needed and doing something good I get to be a human being right?)

Gonna guess not having a stall is against ADA laws also. Sounds like that bar needs to go.

Yeah and it's not just about how easy or hard the case is, lawyers know how to follow the rules, procedures, regulations etc. You're honestly just wasting your and the courts time even if you win.

He was going out of his way to do everything “right” too.

He couldn’t use the men’s, because it was a trough set up. He talked to an employee, made sure that no one was in the women’s.

And then the cops had the gall to accuse him of being drunk and disorderly?

Regarding (1), he also got verbal permission from the bartender before entering the women's restroom

A men's bathroom without stalls? How is this even a thing? Where are they supposed to poop in that establishment?

There have been so many cops everywhere the past fucking week where I live. I am so terrified.

I started using men’s restrooms in 2013. No one ever cared. No one has ever cared.

I used to travel a lot across my state - I like going to wonky small towns, dragged ex’s to places like the Spiro Mounds, wanted to explore the ghost town of Picher, had adventures with foster children in Arkansas…. but I have to stay in a city now.

It’s like a video game map now. Hubworlds are safe, the cops will be noticed if they do something and are at least dimly aware of that. But travel could cause a random encounter, with multiple deeply unpleasant outcomes.

That is why they do that shit. It’s stochastic terrorism. At least when I was a kid crying in terror over 9/11, the world was telling me that it was happening and it was real.