this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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askchapo

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[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

The Zuckerberg Project presents their most lifelike prototype yet.

[–] LoveWitch@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

The guy who sold you overpriced Molly keeps watching you, waiting for it to kick in before he tries to start dancing with you.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

41 year-old man attempts to appeal to teenagers for 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓼.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Hey, creepy - why you at the kegger?"

"I - like you - seek human relationships. Purely appropriate and wholesome ones - I assure you."

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Would teenagers even say "kegger"? I've gotten so old - I have no idea what teenage kids say.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

No one knows what it's like to be the bad man

[–] ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago

“if I can convince everyone these dumb glasses are cool my database will have so many videos of people going to the bathroom and that’s pretty cool”

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

"They 'trust me'. Dumb fucks."

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

-- Lt. Col Zuckerberg

[–] buh@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Mein Führer - I can VR!

[–] StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago

Willy Wonka after explaining that soylent and green is made from Oompa Loompa remains, 2012 colorized

[–] RuthBaderGonesburg@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Johnny Depp, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I am a normal ~~person~~ human and I want to be your friend. It won't hurt. I promise.

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Edit

What was I thinking?

[–] jack@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

A human being

[–] Gerudo@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

I'm totally respectful of your privacy.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

Fruit basket sees HAL 9000 through rose colored glasses.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Our business model is entirely dependent on VR being a thing. And since Virtual Reality sucks this much, it is now our goal to make Reality Reality suck that much worse!"

[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Wait...you might be on to something here. It's just like how rising antisemitism globally is actually good for Isn'treal because it leads credence to them being a safe haven

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

I have secured for myself an normal human drip

[–] Andrzej3K@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

New Muse album just dropped

[–] aanes_appreciator@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

stable and morally righteous human being.

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 2 points 1 month ago

The Zuckbot Quest is the latest in a line of humanoid robots. Its mission: to deliver the most robotic date.

[–] vivalapivo 1 points 1 month ago

Very sad being 40+ man these times