this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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[–] Quazatron@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The year of Linux Desktop is here!

[–] Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Quazatron@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

To me it was somewhere in the late 90's, but I'm sure people will still be debating this when I die.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My entire obituary will start with the phrase

Area man ....

Of that. I'm sure.

[–] Captainautism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Just as long as it’s not Florida man…

[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There will be no headline. I am just a plebe.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not a headline about you. Just the top story in the news on the day that you die

[–] Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

“Scientists discover that pigs fly”

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Earth runs out of Oxygen... Billions of people die!

[–] kalkulat@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Immortality For All Just Weeks Away"

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 month ago

Go down in history as the last human to die

[–] proti@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

you won't believe what happened to this fish

[–] z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Man dies from dehydration while defecating on former President Donald Trump's grave. Friends say man intentionally consumed many McDonald's Hamburgers and bottles of laxatives prior to death."

[–] kalkulat@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Good luck with that. Have u ever seen how they had to bury Reagan?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

is his corpse on a rotisserie for all eternity?

[–] STUNT_GRANNY@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

If I'm lucky, it'll be the fact that I died. And the reputation I'd have to build to get that headline is hopefully gonna be a good one.

[–] Phen@lemmy.eco.br 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Top headline will be about some new word the young generation is using. The smaller pieces will say stuff like "are you morally opposed to murder? That may cost you your job! 12 out the 14 companies in America say they wouldn't hire someone with antique puritane views"

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Gaargle flooded with toads, again.

[–] SuperEars@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Coffin too small for deceased performer, but not for the reason you think

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] underreacting@literature.cafe 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

FMC: Oxygen line malfunctions. Experts estimate 100% casualties. Mars ambassador to Earth: "No contact has been made as of now, investigation is underway".

The news will start shortening to FMC because "First Mars Colony" will be such a frequent headline.

I will not be involved myself, I just assume I'll live waaaay too long and die peacefully in a parachute accident that same day.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

over_clox was attacked and run over by a Cybertruck 3.0 in auto self-defense mode after trying to move a turtle out of the road.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

"Trump does stupid shit... again."

Might be Don, might be Jr., might be Eric. There are enough Trumps to exhaust my lifetime.