If she likes you and your height is a problem, she didn't actually like you
this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Yeah and undoubtedly that sucks
Obviously. It's just frustrating that being short is a dealbreaker for so many women. Even women who are significantly shorter than 5'5.5" will often refuse to consider a guy of that height.
So, a short guy will never even get to the stage where "she likes you" is even a consideration, because the height filter rules them out of contention. Personality, fitness, sense of humour, etc. are all irrelevant because your parents happened to be short.
Dude, I have seen plenty of short men date good looking women. It's about confidence and charisma.
I seriously did not know this was an issue until I saw it being talked about on online forums.
I just explained it to another user that it could be population sampling bias because he could be in a place where people's average height is tall for other places. I guess where I live, our height varies greatly despite the country's average height is 5'9" according to Wikipedia. There are plenty of tall people over 5'5" but so are under.
Yes, and there have been "plenty" of short NBA players too. That doesn't change the fact that height is a massive advantage.
Height confers advantage except dating is not NBA (and there are different sports where height is not a game changer like soccer but I don't want to make dating like a trivial game). If you let negative externalities get into your head, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it will always show. Women (and men) are not attracted to low self-esteem. Self-confidence attracts. Find a person who likes you for being you.
That's nice, but you're pretending it's not a real problem when it is a real problem.
Only how you react is what you can control. You can choose self-pity, but what good does it do to yourself?
A woman rejects you, sure. You're berated for being short. But you're caring about the negativity of those who don't care about you. You're letting them live rent-free in your mind when they let go of you already. There are 8 billion people in the world and only those who cares about you matters, and not those who reject you for arbitrary, shallow reasons.
Just saying, there are less good looking and shorter men out there who has more luck than you and I. It doesn't matter if they are settling down for less, or the guy has more money. If they can do it, you can! It is easier said than done, but it is about the state of mind. Have you been with a person who is always negative and/or uninteresting? How did you you feel being around with that person? Would you like to be with that person again? Low self-esteem always shows no matter how hard a person tries to hide it and it is a turn off, wouldn't you agree? Do you like a confident partner? And likewise, they want a confident you.
Yes, and there are a few NBA players who are under 5'5", but that doesn't mean that there isn't a huge advantage to being tall.
Why play basketball, when you can play other sports?
Play to your advantages.
So... become gay? But, gay men are just as bad.
You got plenty to learn ;)
if you think being short is hard, try being ugly.
I do feel for the folks working against both.
At least with ugliness, it's easy to understand the problem.
gee thanks
That's not true. It's just one factor. Most of the men in the world are 5'5" poor dudes. It's not money or height.
It's one critical factor that, because it's a number is easy to use as a filter.
I don't know about "most of the men in the world" being 5'5". It may be an average if you count a lot of developing countries with poor nutrition. But, among developed countries it's a lot more than that. Even Japan, which is known for smaller people, has 172 cm (5'7.5") as the average.
The average person lives in a developing country with poor nutrition.
And?
Shouldn't have added the .5.
Saying the extra half inch makes you look desperate, just say 5'5" or 5'6" and if she gets awkward, it's on her
Can someone explain this "trend" with asking someone's height and it being an elimination factor?
Because this is the equivalent to the "big boobs" factor but only more obvious.
Some women don't want to date men who are shorter than them (and vice versa). Just like some men wouldn't want to date women with smaller boobs than them.
I feel like one of those is much more common though
I was on Tinder for a year and never once was asked that question. It's either a US thing or an internet meme.
I do think the height thing is almost biological due to how common it is, even across cultures.
The overemphasis on numbers, not so much.
And me complaining my times were filled with shallow people.
Of course, only one of those people is a "bad person" for their preferences and is "body shaming." The other is totally different, because.
I dunno, in my circles, either is seen as an acceptable preference. Mocking someone for either would be body shaming. I never really even considered the way that you said it.
Dodged a bullet
why not just answer in metric? baffle mode
I've seen plenty of short men date taller women. And I have a mate who is 5'4" but managed to sleep with a 5'6" coworker.
It's not always about the height or muscles. It's the confidence.
Dating apps are bad and superficial. You're better off going out more in real life. People in person are less judgemental than in apps. And even if a girl rejects you-- either on apps or in real life-- who cares? If someone doesn't like you, they can bugger off. You're not under obligation to please everyone. There are plenty of fishes in the sea.
Just wondering, where would I go in real life? I can't really go to the bar, and the thought of approaching someone in like, a cafe, is horrifying (I'm trans so super worried about being seen as a creep)
I don't really have advise for lgbt as I am straight so my experience may not necessarily be accurate for you. But I think it's safe to say that the broad process on how to meet others for potential partner is universal regardless of gender. I admit I'm far from being Casanova, but people in bars or clubs who are interested send signals, like eye contact, smiling, inviting you to the dance floor, etc. It sets queue that you can approach them without looking creepy. But that's not even foolproof because sometimes a person may only be looking for attention as he/she may have a partner all along.
Another avenue to meet people would be taking part in social clubs and interest groups. You would be sharing common interests so it would be easier to have conversations. Hobby groups and social clubs don't usually involve alcohol so if you're not into drinking then that's a good way to meet people.
See if you can find LGBT meet up groups if your area. Don't approach them looking for dates, go just to meet new people and make new friends. Swap contact details, go to events and gatherings with em. Go bowling, play pool, find arcades, go to shows, conventions, try new restaurants, go hiking, go fishing, that sorta thing. You'll make new friends and that'll be fulfilling in its own right and some of those friendships may become something more than that.
Edit: This is largely great advice for straight, cis people, too. Buuuut find a different meet up group or skip it and just go to the events and make friends. You can usually start up a conversation just by sitting at a bar and having a few drinks.
Also: for the topic, the height thing is BS. Sure, some people will disregard you because of your height, but some people are assholes. Many, arguably most, aren't. I'm 5'5" and I've never been single unless I wanted to be since the age of about 15.
sometimes it's not even about the confidence. sometimes people fuck, sometimes people marry, (sometimes people kill? idk) and it wasn't related to any particular thing.
You have a point but find someone who would be interested for being you. But the common denominator is that confidence is sexy regardless of sex and gender. I'm a straight male but i also like women who are confident. Of course there is a line between confidence and arrogance.
Everyone who is taller than 5'8" rounds up to 6' so I always just round up to 5'8"
Everyone who is taller than 5'8" rounds up to 6'
Especially those who are taller than 6'
I mean it doesn't stop Charlie White from being a damn sex machine. Own your body, don't let it own you. Short? Who's short? I'm not 5 and a half feet short, I'm 5 and a half feet tall baby