this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You know god damn well she's not gonna order a Jesus at all and just nibble at yours.

[–] HootinNHollerin@slrpnk.net 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I recall seeing an item on a menu once that said something like “girlfriend’s not hungry: an extra long fork, $0.00” or “the freeloader: extra long fork, $0.00”

[–] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

ive seen one like that added a bit more fries lol

[–] Jorgelino@lemmy.ml 28 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

There's a guaraná flavored soda in brazil called "Jesus", so this makes perfect sense to me.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Jesus, I'm parched.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

someone to hear your prayers

[–] KreekyBonez@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] einlander@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Just reach out and touch Faith.

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

are we talkin hollow jesus, or solid?

the hollow ones always seem to taste better

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Chicago style deep dish Jesus.

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 9 months ago

The ~Cheesus~ Jesus is under the tomato sauce. Lurking.

you can find jesus within

[–] ScrollerBall@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I thought he was like pull-apart bread

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] grue@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago

Nah, you've got him confused with Supply-Side Jesus.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Trans-substantiation means that he levens in your stomach.

[–] ersatz@infosec.pub 5 points 9 months ago

Always go with the personal jesus. Everyone can get one tailored to their own taste and there's no worry about leaving anyone out or having to follow his teachings and shit. My dad wants an anchovy jesus that lets him be a racist, while my buddy wants a pepperoni jesus that lets him cheat on his wife while justifying it to himself. Personal jesus makes all of this possible.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

I mean that's basically just Eucharist.

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Well, you know it's not just how hungry you are, It's A Matter Of Time.

[–] dantheclamman@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Just saw them live and it was an incredible concert. Highly recommended if you can attend their present tour

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)
[–] einlander@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Don't forget to get Jesus juice.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Ugh, people who get Jesus for the table and then to pawn it off are the worst. Like at least get something interesting if you're gonna try and push it on someone

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Rachelle smirks like Nicolas Cage

"I'm gonna steal the Jesus statue of Rio de Janeiro."

And just put it on her lawn.

[–] MacNCheezus 1 points 9 months ago

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