798
are you sure? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by snek@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] JoShmoe@ani.social 124 points 5 months ago

technically its confidence and hygiene.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 69 points 5 months ago

Hygiene, manners, fitness, generally not being a creep.

[-] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 43 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

"fitness"

Highly exaggerated by the masculinist movement, I know many people who aren't in good shape and never were that have a relationship/family life that most would envy

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 22 points 5 months ago

It doesn't hurt to be fit. You'll likely look better and it helps with your confidence.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 23 points 5 months ago

As a woman I would like to add that the Fitness part is not true. Of course if you want to ask out a gym girl she will care about fitness, but also if you want to ask a "fashion" girl out she will care about fashion and so on. Know your target before putting effort in the wrong thing. I'm the type that cares zero about fitness.

Hygiene, manners and not being a creep is default tho. Please do that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] sincle354@kbin.social 19 points 5 months ago

Younger generations also need appropriate internet socialization for the social medias. Need to not live under a rock but also not go off the deep end of Insta or 4chan, respectively.

The finer details of making friends on a discord server befuddles me.

[-] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

Isn't a discord like a curated list of people who you at least share an interest with?

[-] covert_czar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 5 months ago

The sketch with squigly lines here doesn't just represent hygiene. It shows how doomed he is

[-] JoShmoe@ani.social 9 points 5 months ago

You see doom, I see a montage worthy makeover.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] FierroGamer@sh.itjust.works 108 points 5 months ago

Also being ok with rejection

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 49 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

But repeated rejection has an effect of reinforcing our undesirableness, and takes a toll on our self-esteem. How do people cope with this?

[-] kofe@lemmy.world 29 points 5 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] deaf_fish@lemm.ee 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Why assume a rejection is because of you?

Why not assume they are having a bad day, they are just out of a previous relationship and they want a break, your just not their type (even if you had all the abs and a chiseled jaw and confidence they wouldn't be interested), what if they aren't into your gender, or what if they are in a committed relationship with their horse?

There are a lot of things that can cause it to be a no deal that are not your fault. If you feel like you did a good job asking, then it is probably one of the above.

[-] Patches@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 months ago

Why assume a rejection is because of you?

This goes in all matters. The people who succeed don't take everything personally.

[-] Katana314@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Everyone who’s deflected N rejections and given life advice to others based on that, has not yet experienced N+1 rejections.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (10 replies)
[-] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago

That circles back around to confidence

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

But being constantly rejected circles back to breaking down one's confidence.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] paddirn@lemmy.world 25 points 5 months ago

If romantic comedies have taught me anything, it's to never take "no" for an answer, and it's ok to stalk people because it will all just work out in the end when they realize what they've been missing this whole time.

[-] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago

Jeez I wonder if the prevalence of this trope could have overreaching social consequences

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 79 points 5 months ago

I love seeing how this crusty bastard devolves over time. I don't know that anyone can make him look any worse at this point.

[-] farfarawaay@sh.itjust.works 25 points 5 months ago

This version gives me Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark with the OG illustrations that were deemed “too scary” for children

[-] sincle354@kbin.social 22 points 5 months ago

His forehead constitutes 50% of his face but is relatively clean. We need more scabbed over zits.

[-] morrowind@lemmy.ml 9 points 5 months ago

his eyes are still pretty decent

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Angry_Maple@sh.itjust.works 53 points 5 months ago

Some of it's also probably situation based.

If you hit on every single person of the gender that you like at one gym, they'll probably start to feel like you really just want just anyone who will say yes. They'll probably feel like you don't like them for them, and that you're just trying to keep your bed warm. Most people who want relationships want to be with someone who likes them individually as a person. Try not to write "scripts" for the situation in your head too much, either. If you do, it might crash and burn the second that someone goes off of that "script".

It's kind of tragic how all of this has become. A relationship likely won't fix any problems you might have with yourself, nor would it fix most of the other aspects of your life. A partner will also have their own needs and wants, and you should try to have room to provide some of that before you start dating.

Don't listen to guys like Tate. If he really had good advice, more people from his fan base would be in a happy relationship now, no? He makes money by making you continue to watch his videos. That's all he cares about. He's giving you bad advice so he can keep making money off of your sadness. That's not a bro thing to do.

Don't follow the plot of any rom-coms. That behaviour is usually a fantastic way to get a restraining order and absolutely ruin any chances you might have had with that person.

Find the little things that make you happy. Gardening? MTG? Video games? Hockey? Drawing? MMA? Take the time to properly enjoy those things that you love with the people who are already around you. It will help build some of that confidence. Let youself be passionate about your hobbies sometimes. It's ok, I promise.

Try not to worry too much if you mess up or if you ruin your chances with one person. There are over 8 billion people on earth, so there's almost always someone else you can try with. NO ONE succeeds 100% of the time, and that is more than OK. That is human.

Don't beat yourself up over not succeeding right away. Unless you are literally currently on your death bed, you still have time.

Outside of the dating stuff, be kind to youself, and try to make sure you're taking care of yourself. Self care isn't just fitness and healthy eating. Sometimes could be having pizza in the bath, sometimes it might be playing DnD over multiple continents, sometimes it might be watching cartoons, and sometimes it could even be something like skincare. Your happiness is important, and you should treat it as such.

As long as it doesn't harm anyone else in the process, please do what you need to do to feel happy. Life is too short to pause your happiness for someone who hasn't shown up yet. Life is too short to wait to improve things until you meet someone who hasn't shown up yet.

You deserve happiness, and the sooner you acknowledge that, the better. Find happiness despite what life might throw at you. Try to find joy even in chaos, and always remember that bad feelings usually don't last forever. You can get through these hard times.

[-] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 8 points 5 months ago

Try not to write "scripts" for the situation in your head too much, either.

How else do you expect me to interact with people?

Take the time to properly enjoy those things that you love with the people who are already around you.

Who?

[-] TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz 12 points 5 months ago

If you don't have anyone, then look for hobby groups. There's groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that. Doesn't even have to be in person, if the thought of meeting new people irl triggers your anxiety. And if you're bad at talking to people then you need to practice, fail and learn from your mistakes.

If you have the desire to improve, you'll manage. Just take it slow and don't force yourself to get into very uncomfortable or new situations right away. Like, for example, big parties.

Over time, you'll get better at improvising during conversations and you'll get more confident. And if there's people who try to shit on you for trying your best, don't worry. They're actually a lot more insecure then you'll ever be at that point.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] MacNCheezus 39 points 5 months ago

Perhaps a shower and a haircut wouldn’t hurt.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Kedly@lemm.ee 34 points 5 months ago

I've seen way too many guys who think they're uglier than they are. Confidence and Comedy really are great ways to have a shot, even if you're faking the confidence. Its a tough lesson, but you DO need to sell yourself a little

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 28 points 5 months ago

Confidence in yourself takes work. Confident people are confident because they loved themselves first and you take care of those you love

load more comments (8 replies)
[-] gun@lemmy.ml 24 points 5 months ago

Cartoon memes are starting to resemble actual art

[-] Scientician@lemmy.world 24 points 5 months ago

You gotta show up for yourself before you're gonna get the girl my dude. Fix those open sores on your face and shave.

[-] yamanii@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago

and I thought open source was a good thing...

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] OpenStars@startrek.website 13 points 5 months ago

It's all he needs. You on the other hand... had better be a trillionaire. :-P

[-] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 11 points 5 months ago
[-] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 23 points 5 months ago

Are we? I hate how everyone who struggles with relationships is instantly called an incel.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I wish there was a better way to distinguish between small-i incel (a life condition you'd like to change) and big-I Incel (a toxic social movement).

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (27 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[-] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 5 months ago
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Average mfr with a anime pfp arguing politics on unrelated topics

[-] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago

Ok, listen. A great attitude (what the meme calls 'confidence') will definitely improve your chances. This doesn't detract from the fact that if you were to randomly ask a lot of people out, the vast majority of them would still say no because either they're not looking for a partner or you're not their type. The hard part is accepting that fact and continue trying without getting so emotionally exhausted that you no longer even want to try. Tinder makes this even worse, because it condenses dozens of rejections in a short amount of time, in a context that makes looks far more important than other worthwhile traits of yours.

Of course, having an ugly face, being poor and even having bad genetics will make things harder. But there are plenty of fat, ugly dudes and gals in happy relationships. If you see yourself in the meme, your worst enemy is not knowing how to get out of a pit of hurt and self-doubt, but it's an enemy you can beat.

[-] MashedTech@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

I'm just imagining this scene in a cartoon and it is kind of funny, if it were drawn literally as is.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2024
798 points (93.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25080 readers
3990 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS