"A child dented my bumper this morning."
Lemmy Shitpost
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
Reminds me of those insurance claim attemps "a stationary car reversed into me".
Can't imagine that goes down well
A car tried to reverse onto me the other day, at a red light they went forward then popped it into reverse and backed up really quick but luckily stopped before it hit me
Dod they pop it into reverse or was it just them slow shifting a manual and having it roll backwards?
No the reverse lights came on, I panicked and didn't get to pop off a honk
ever notice how this is getting rare?
we used to get a rain of bugs when travelling by car at night on back roads.
There are scientists who actually study bug strikes on vehicles. They use it to measure insect decline, and if you're wondering, it's massive. I think one article I read had it as high as 40% over the last 20 years in some areas.
Insects are dying. Especially close to cities. Cars are to blame, but probably even more the human impact on nature, destroying the natural living space.
No, it’s climate change and pesticide. (Also cars but not the biggest factor).
it's like saying that sport fishermen are to blame for declining fish population. They aren't technically wrong. but they aren't right either.
i tought overfishing was the biggest problem. whats actually killing the fish? pollution?
Commercial fishing, pollution, and climate change I believe
It's fishing, just not sport fishing. It's like saying that NASCAR is responsible for pollution. Yeah, not technically wrong, but a drop in the bucket comparatively.
remember how white vehicles were always covered with dead bugs? and how people used to put nets on their front bumper?
Not just back roads, it used to be almost everywhere. Even riding your bike you often had bugs smash into your face. It's really eerie now that it's not a thing anymore.
15 years ago i couldn't go for a run without getting a bunch of cluster flies in my teeth and eyes. now, i hardly see them anymore. and not just because i don't run as often.
We're paving over open space as fast as possible
It's the same with birds.
Growing up I used to get woken up by the sounds of thousands of birds tweeting and chirping.
Now I'm lucky to hear a bird that isn't a crow
It's all my fault. I accidentally hit an entire swarm of bees with my car in the 90s and it's all gone downhill from there. Hell of a thing to clean off.
Same philosophy:
Same person
Didn't notice. So they guy has one joke he repeats in different versions?
What about shark infested houses?
This basically describes the first scene in The Boys
The consequences of unprotected handholding
She got what she deserved, pedestrians shouldn't be on the street where the cars and speedsters are /s
"The tree got closer and closer and hit my car."
What's the last thing that goes through the head of a bug hitting a windshield at 70 mph?
...
Its butt.
same fot cyclists here when they are run over. "cyclist touched car and dies" instead of "wanker in a car murdered a cyclist".
What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind as it hits the windshield?
It's ass.
Well, the bug was moving 67,000 mph relative to the sun.
Today in bug news, 456,854 more deaths on America's roads
On a bad day I can do that by myself in 15 minutes
The bug was probably thinking - do I smell shit? Man I could go for some shit right now. ----- why?!
What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits a windshield? Its asshole.
While we're on this very topic, isnt it technically his mind that goes through his asshole?
I think that depends on your definitions of "mind", "hole", and "going"
Great title, that was perfect
Wait, let me tune into the bug channel.... Crackling "we are gathered here today to commemorate Gary who threw himself fearless into the onslaught the bipedals have wrought upon us with their spiders of steel and glass. Even though he failed on his quest to stop the slaughter of millions by the metal madness unleashed.by.the bipedal demons, his sacrifice will shine as a beacon of hope that one day we might be able to spread our wings again"
No, they do tell the very same thing.
Makes me think... How many vegans refuse to drive?
I don't care about most bugs.
But the very real and high risk of hurting a beloved animal did play into my choice to be an escooter/biker.
Killing people is also super high up there, but it's just less likely.
I'm ngl. The amount of carcasses I see along the road everyday heading to work has made me want to stop driving for years now.
I'm not even vegan but seeing all those rotting animals decorating ditches day in and day out fills me with rage.
And knowing some stupid fucks go out of their way to hit animals makes my blood boil.
From my experience, the animals are more the stupid ones that jump out in front of the car unexpectedly. I once tried to dodge a raccoon but every time I swerved a direction, it followed me and then jumped towards my car last second :/
speed is relative to the observer