this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2024
334 points (96.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26934 readers
4294 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 166 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I feel like this is just a dude taking the piss out of the myriad of women's profiles that basically say the same thing.

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 51 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Especially being the primary care giver of 3 kids despite having felonies on the record and smoking like a stack while drinking like a fish

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

smoking like a stack

great, never heard this one

[–] FilterItOut@thelemmy.club 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, chimneys are for rich folks with brick houses.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

oh shit, that's the original phrase.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Yeah, if you're on probation or parole you're not allowed to drink (or use marijuana, or any other illicit substance). The cops in PA will randomly raid bars looking for probationers and parolees. That shit was annoying for those of us that were trying to have a good time at Karaoke

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 75 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Pretty sure this is satire

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 16 points 8 months ago

On Lemmy Shitpost?!

[–] SupraMario@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

It is, but apparently lemmy is filled with people who don't think so.

[–] KingBoo@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

My favorite touch is that he's 5'11".

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[–] LordOfTheChia@lemmy.world 43 points 8 months ago

He's just looking for the ol' 6-6-6

6 figures

6/10 (or better)

6 IQ

[–] zzzzzzyx@lemmy.world 38 points 8 months ago

This is obviously bait guys, calm down. This dude is parodying the stereotype of women doing similar on dating apps and exposing a double standard.

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 35 points 8 months ago (3 children)
[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 30 points 8 months ago (2 children)

but when I make fun of women for being fat I'm the bad guy

I mean, you can both be bad guys ☺️

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Is that part of the joke? I don’t get it

[–] odium@programming.dev 18 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

It's a meme that all 5'11" ppl round up and claim they're 6 feet

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Is that related to the incel thing where they say women refuse to date short men?

[–] BirdyBoogleBop@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 8 months ago

You get more matches if you round up to 6ft.

[–] John_McMurray@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

kiiiiinda.....but there's a not insignificant number of women actually won't either, probably more related to the "6 foot mininum" you see on tinder profiles a lot.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

A lot? Granted, I haven’t used dating apps in almost a decade, but I never saw that

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This may be a surprise, but there is a group of women that woman equivalent of incel men.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

“Won’t anyone think of the poor men!!”

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Great hyperbole! Actually no one is "poor", all humans are shitbags, when given power they will abuse it.

[–] albin_jo_09@mastodon.social 1 points 8 months ago (6 children)

@Crashumbc @jeffw What you mean ? How can we see everyone as same ?

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Ragnarok314159@sopuli.xyz 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I remember meeting a lot of my women friend’s boyfriends back when everyone was going through that song and dance. “He is six feet!”

What was always incredible is how many of these six foot tall dudes were the same height or shorter than me, and I am five ten.

[–] Gabu@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

The weirdest thing is that 6 feet (183cm) isn't even very tall. If you're going to lie, go all out and say you're 7 feet tall.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Any real man would round up.

[–] mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

I'm 5'11, but 6ft erect.

[–] odium@programming.dev 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] BoxerDevil@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Yeah, based on the photo, I doubt more than 5'8"

[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 28 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don’t have a job or car

Delivery driver

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

I think I must live on his UPS route

[–] mononomi@feddit.nl 24 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A wild useless red circle appeared!

[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

I think it's worse than that. It's counter productive. I missed the joke because I was looking for it in the red circle

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 19 points 8 months ago

I can fix him. He's already a family man, how hard can the rest be?

[–] VubDapple@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Unfortunately guys like this are real, as are the traumatized women who go for them.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

I watched a couple seasons of love after lockup. The women dating guys in prison went for guys like this because they were very insecure, and thought probation would help them control the men.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 8 months ago

And here I spent years on dating apps trying to make myself seem likable when I could have just demanded a rich caretaker.

[–] degen@midwest.social 7 points 8 months ago

Ay girl, get me outta these backrooms

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Seems like a real winner.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Here's a picture of me and my ex - a hotel hallway.

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 3 points 8 months ago

You gotta admire the honesty

[–] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Finally the he male

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 8 months ago

"looking for friendship" who the fuck uses Tinder to look for friends??

load more comments
view more: next ›