this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

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-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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Male? Female? Sall good with this guy!

Want some, get some as a wise man once said to me.

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[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 71 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] cosmicrose@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

Why is nobody talking about the mouthfeel?

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 58 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Cum one, cum all! No gender too strange for this creature to please!

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Mom! The Romanian United Principalities are being weird again

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Whoa there's a pansexual Romanian government? :O

[–] OozingPositron@feddit.cl 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 7 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Reminds me of this.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 50 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I fucking love giving oral. Like 100% legit would rather give oral than receive and when its with the right person giving oral is better than 90% of sex.

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 7 months ago (4 children)

As someone who is sex repulsed, I'm legitimately curious what about it appeals to you? I'd love to know from your perspective

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 32 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not OC but the idea of making someone feel good makes me feel good. It's like double the dopamine for me.

I could totally see being grossed out by it when I think about it logically. In fact it is gross when I think about it logically.

[–] Emmie@lemm.ee 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Logic is fucking gross. Last I tried it it remind me that I am a meat sack of fat and blood ready to pop. I avoid it ever since

[–] Cryophilia@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago

As someone with a high sex drive, it's not rational. It's like hunger, or sleepiness. It's a base biological need and the longer I go without sex the more irritable and depressed I get.

It's not a need in the sense that I'll die without it, but it's a need in the sense that my mental health will deteriorate without it.

[–] Kedly@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago

Oral is more intimacy focussed, at least as far as giving it is concerned. As the giver you also get immediate and obvious feedback that your partner is finding pleasure in what you are doing (Or that they ARENT enjoying it if you're fucking it up)

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm mostly sex repulsed but I find giving oral way more manageable than penetrative sex. Mostly I just don't like being touched but yes like someone else said, knowing that you're causing the pleasure for someone else is the appealing part of it. Especially if they're vocal about it.

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

See, I feel like I'm the exact opposite. I don't mind being touched nor penetrated (toys only, w4w). Oral however just doesn't seem fun for me either way. I guess I'm just more comfortable with someone's hand than someone's head.

TBF, sex in general doesn't give me any happy chemicals so it's not something I seek out or ever get excited about.

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 36 points 7 months ago (2 children)

When you want your girlfriend to suck you off and you draw comics:

[–] andrew@lemmy.stuart.fun 30 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This isn't the original text of the comic. The original is pretty good too though.

[–] Mcballs1234@lemmy.ml 15 points 7 months ago

Touching grass will be fine enough for me

[–] KreekyBonez@lemmy.world 33 points 7 months ago (2 children)

the most intimate thing a person can do, is to wash someone else's hair

[–] eselover 16 points 7 months ago
[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 2 points 7 months ago

I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

[–] AquaTofana@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago

Honestly, I think this could be true. There's definitely something to be said about willingly putting yourself in a vulnerable position with someone you feel safe with, for the sole purpose of their pleasure and nothing else. However, there's definitely a balance. If my husband demanded blow jobs every day or something, I'd probably get the "ick" from him and not want to do it. But since he's never been the one to be demanding about anything sexual, I do actually love making him feel good like that.

Sometimes I'll make it hella silly and we'll be sitting on the couch and I'll just say something stupid like "GO GET ON THE BED KING, ITS TIME TO GET YOUR DICK SUCKED!" And he'll roll his eyes and blush but I also see the corner of his mouth quirk into a small smile and I know he's just like "She's thinking of me." And it gives me all the warm fuzzies. I also saw a meme once that said "LEMME STRESS EAT THAT DICK", and that's one that I've whipped out a time or two that makes him snort. Yeah, I'm goofy, not every time, but sometimes, because we've been married for 14 years this year and I just like to see him grin.

That being said, I also fucking love when he wants to take care of my needs out of nowhere too. There's something amazing about just knowing someone is invested in your pleasure.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Hmmm… I have to disagree. I’ve done more intimate things.

But it’s up there.

[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 40 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Like... holding hands?! Or... kissing?!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Rubbing noses while whispering "I wuv you"

[–] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 9 points 7 months ago

gasp H-how lewd!

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Hehe, sure. Like that.

But on the inside. And with fluids.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Look at this one over here doing gushy mushy things like getting spit roasted and creampied.

[–] Nunar@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago

They're a proctologist.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Yes, but also other fluids

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

On second thought, I don't want to know

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

There's something incredibly invigorating about using a blend of Listerine and hot sauce as lube

[–] shuzuko@midwest.social 4 points 7 months ago

Everything from the waist down just clenched up in horror, thanks

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Listerine and Hot Sauce, new band name

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 7 months ago

ngl i would say kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do, that's up where all your sense of self is after all.

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)
[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

NGL, i don't think we're cooking with this one chief, have we tried being friends first? I hear interpersonal relationships are pretty stout.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Sure, head is great. But have you ever actually cared about someone? That shit's tight.

[–] Kedly@lemm.ee 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

As a guy, snuggles can be faaaarrr harder to get than sexual release

(Yes I realize I worded that atrociously, my autism kicked in halfway through typing "harder to get than sex" but tbh if you're hooking up with people you can probably sneak a snuggle in, but you need someone who's comfortable snuggling with you to get snuggles, but sexual release can be a solo job. So thats how you get the more technically accurate, but 5000x creepier statement that I ended up with)

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 months ago

I appreciated the journey of this comment

that shit IS tight

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Friends and partners are great but sometimes I just need a dick to suck

[–] arin@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

Her dick is too small, she can't even find it herself sometimes.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Collegehumor did this exact skit a decade ago.

https://youtu.be/qPxSU7zDmOE

[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 7 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/qPxSU7zDmOE

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

I simple hug and kiss is good enough for me

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