RiotDoll

I think religion is good.

Sorry I guess, but i've run the gamut in my life. I used to be a little edgelord preteen that delighted in shitting on belief. i had an earnest christian phase. i had a heresy and occult phase. i'm still in an "academic study of these matters is cool as hell" phase - I think if you're overly reductive, you get it in your head to only measure what religion does on a socio-political level, and this is a fucking trap. Anything tied to power structures can and will be abused, but that doesn't make these places the sole determiner of worth and value for anything, but for religion it's especially busted.

Religion and spirituality are like, really important elements of the human psyche. I can't tell you why that is, but I can tell you that even in instances of non-belief in an individual, the overwhelming tendency is that other structures replace it and act as a surrogate - something in our mind needs whatever religion provides. It can get it elsewhere of course, i can think of some large social projects that tried to redirect that impulse towards common, human-centered goals and sometimes, for some people, it works, but it's at least clear to me that being reductive about this and treating it as problematic or bad or somehow more trouble than it's worth, is coming from a place of disinterest and lack of understanding.

jesus is cool but christians are sick little perverts???

unfurling thread like a cursed scroll that's one hell of an act, what do you call it?

stop caring as much about how people see you

i deserve to be loved like a queen casting a hypnotic spell over her land, but i accept that not everyone is down with monarchic socialism, and while some useless fuckers still have their protective amulets, not everyone is going to worship my every thought and decree

but eventually i'll get those charms to rot and break, so i try not to care too much

knowing a thing or two about the practice, yes absolutely

reckoning the degree of a midheaven by hand; locating an ascensional degree, charting retrogrades, doing Math hard enough to start predicting eclipses, doing geometry

those priests were the nerds of their era and you insult your ancestors to think of them as uneducated bumpkins. They were the goddamn dialectic until modernity and crapitalism arrives lol

bump

Please, let's get that girl out of there.

honestly is a good idea.

my last good job was one that always ended around midnight, give or take (being a prep cook and dish washer meant i was among the last to leave)

I also used to do 10p-6a at a gas station in the Before Times, and I hated every minute of it. My sleep hours were where other people were awake. I had nothing to do when I was awake off work. I just slept, and ate, and did laundry and necessity work at home, then i'd go to work.

I know there are folks eating that shit every night ready to do something about it, and they've got no options because if you ever wanna tell a 10p-6a worker to just wake up and do daylight/evening shit, you're gonna get screamed at.

i dont have a ton of experience and it's all years-old at this point but no, this hasn't been my experience at all

my briefly-had cis girlfriend bothered to look up transfemme needs and fucked like a goddamn pro, to the point i was even willing to use the hated thing because she just created the context that made the dysphoria non present.

I felt like a fucking woman with her.

t4t is more reliable but im not gonna lie y'all, so many of us have huge issues, and every time i get into another t4t thing i find myself burdened not only with my own flaws but theirs as well, as i begin to suffer with them in their way, and theirs in mine, and more than it hasn't, it just ends in us losing the ability to deal with That Specific Thing We Have Going On and it becomes a point of resentment that our mutual damage is caustic to each other. It happens way more than it should and im exhausted by it

i fucked with men more in my egg phase, but most of them were confidently quite gay, but hormones flipped a switch and im not saying attraction to men never happens, but it's rare enough i just don't actually seriously consider them candidates.

so basically i get these like, transcendent lesbian relations with cis women that dont last very long, or i get caustic t4t, and im not capable of loving the masculine enough to carry a long term relationship so i dont try.

i'm exhausted. im not suited to being alone, but im exhausted.

i think most of us couldn't, but i wonder sometimes if i'd been born before agriculture what it'd be like.

i wonder what it'd be like to just generally live in simpler times.

There was more ambient danger and death, sure, yeah. You had to dedicate way more of your grey matter to surviving your environment - sounds like it sucks

but we weren't meant for whatever this is, and there's no way to make it more like what we were meant for without abandoning it all outright. at least that stuff is closer to who we actually are.

People always say to follow the money, and i'm assuming that conservative interests, and i mean fashy conservative interests, have finally really meaningfully sidelined anyone with wealth and power that has a conscience.

This kind of alignment gets bought. These ghouls think of things in terms of power and money, and nothing else. Newsom and other democrats are seeing where the wind blows, and are cowards, i'm sure of it.

i thought this was part of standard procedure? i know that f35s and i think f22s tend to have the radar kit and other stuff removed before foreign sales go through? like how is that anything but what he's saying?