The Onion

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The Onion

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HBO Max Unveils Ominous New “Don’t Get Too Attached” Category (hard-drive.net)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://sopuli.xyz/post/8839004

HBO Max Unveils Ominous New “Don’t Get Too Attached” Category [Satire]

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"This Is Our Personal 9/11 Except We Can't Make Money From It," Says Toby Keith's Family In Touching Tribute (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
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Husband Wishes Wife Had Been More Honest When They Were Dating About Wanting Family Portraits (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Jordan Peterson Crying Two Minutes Into Debate With Elmo (hard-drive.net)
submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
29 comments fedilink
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"My Phone Battery Is Fucked" Says Mate With ADHD Who Doesn't Leave The Fucking Thing Alone (www.betootaadvocate.com)
submitted 1 year ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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Liberal Conspiracy Theorists Claim Kid Rock Will Endorse Trump At Daytona 500 (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
10 comments fedilink
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Trump Boys Help Father Raise $83 Million By Asking Their Dad For The Money (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink
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Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Early Spring, Chiefs Winning Super Bowl in Unhinged Conspiratorial Rant (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Woman Who Had Almost Formed Healthy Sense Of Self Rejoins Social Media (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
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Boomer Dad Confused Why Describing Everyone's Race, Weight, Unconfirmed Mental Disabilities, Hotness on 1-10 Scale in Anecdote So Bad (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 year ago by Dankry@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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Man Looks On Helplessly As Cascade Of Clear Liquid Fills Cup At Soda Fountain (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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Fan of Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack Announces Plans to Never Listen to Any Other Jazz Ever (hard-drive.net)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
56 comments fedilink
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First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
12 comments fedilink
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Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
18 comments fedilink
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Most Popular Baby Boy Name The Year You Were Born (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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Dying Man Confesses Juggalos Are a Myth He Invented to Fuck With Vice (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
31 comments fedilink
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Shrewd Entrepreneur Opens Burrito Place In Former Site Of Failed Burrito Place (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website to c/theonion@midwest.social
14 comments fedilink
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Judge Orders Columbus Statue Removed And Melted Down Into Pinkie Rings For Local Italians (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
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Fake Joe Biden Robocall Tells New Hampshire Voters He Took A Paternity Test And He’s Their Dad (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
11 comments fedilink
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International Court of Justice rules that Israel must bomb civilians more humanely (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Mourning Family Torn Over Whether Daughter’s Murder Should Be Podcast or Netflix Series (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink
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Americans Explain Why The U.S. Has Never Been A Racist Country (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
12 comments fedilink
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Bully Suspended for Verbally Harassing Peers Argues He Was Just Pushing Boundaries With His Comedy (reductress.com)
submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
55 comments fedilink
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Uncle Has Undetonated WWII Grenade He’d Like To Show You (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
5 comments fedilink
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