this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I remember that Americans were more upfront and friendly than other countries. I'm unsure if that's still true.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (4 children)

It depends on the area I think. I've heard from multiple individuals that people are generally assholes on the east coast, one person told me when he visited California he felt like he was in a Disney movie.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

It's complicated. People on the east coast move fast and speak their minds. If they're mad at you they'll let you know. But at the same time, they can be very helpful and kind, they're just going to be assholes about it. I used to joke that you've finally adjusted to living in Philly when you can tell the difference between "I am going to stab you and then piss on your grave" fuck you and "hey do you want to come over for dinner and meet my mom" fuck you. It's a very aggressive, frank culture, but not necessarily a cruel one.

Meanwhile, down south, there's a whole system of intense social violence built around cruel courtesy. Folks will use phrases like "bless your heart" the way we use "Deeply unserious". Then go over to Texas and you tend to get genuinely, weirdly friendly people. Up in the Midwest folks are superficially polite but really extremely cold and distant. In California everyone's friendly but the stereotype is that it's a superficial friendliness that doesn't reach the eyes. This is, of course, all dependent on race, class, gender, and a dozen other factors.

Folks say there's no culture in the US, but there really is. Deep, complicated cultures with their own norms, problems, joys, dialects. And then you get in to PoC and other minority groups. Like, White Minnesotans have a totally different culture than Hmong Minnesotans, African American Minnesotans, or Somali Minnesotans. There's overlap, but also a huge amount of difference.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

My dad had a girlfriend who would say "Bless their heart" in the most passive aggressive way possible.

[–] PapaEmeritusIII@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago

Then go over to Texas and you tend to get genuinely, weirdly friendly people.

So true though. I’ve lived here my whole life, but most of my coworkers are from other states. I’m the one that’s always convincing people to eat lunch with me instead of alone at their desks. It’s been fun getting all these dorks to open up and get to know each other.

I also enjoy occasionally sprinkling some leftist stuff into these lunch conversations. Nobody expects communism from the person with the yeehaw accent howdy-skull

[–] Shinji_Ikari@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I had a friend say people in California are "nice" in that they'll encourage you to find investors for your shitty idea, where people on the east coast will just tell you it's a shitty idea and save you the embarrassment.

That said, people in NY are some of the kindest i've met around the country. There's nowhere else where conversations in line happen as frequently. Trying that in other places has gotten me weird stares or ignored.

[–] MaeBorowski@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Odd, doesn't NYC specifically have the reputation, stereotype even, for being complete uncaring assholes who would just ignore and step over someone having a medical emergency on the street? I would have thought conversation in the grocery store checkout line being much more a thing on the west coast.

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It only occurs in the bodega, a unique New York phenomenon.

[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

San Francisco has Bodegas, mostly in North Beach

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Sounds made up. New York is the only city in the world with corner stores that make sandwiches.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Yeah, it does have that reputation, but I think that comes mostly from movies and not from people who actually live there. Plus, New York is a bunch of different cities and communities mashed up next to each other.

[–] Shinji_Ikari@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

No I think that honestly is extrapolated from people saying NYers are "assholes", as in direct and speak their mind. The other side of that coin is they're also willing to speak their mind positively or help someone out.

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

This is absolutely a generalisation, but I notice that East coast people have some of that UK snarkiness and bitter sarcasm, and West coast people do that (often fake) positively.

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

Lived and traveled all over the US. CA has the broadest range of behavior in public. Biggest assholes I've ever seen in my life, who will literally mock complete strangers out loud to their face. Then the kindest, most generous, and caring people you'll ever meet standing right next to them. It's like all the jerks kept getting pushed west at the same time the people who they mistreated tried to migrate there to get away from them. Once they reached the west coast they all kinda settled in.

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Were they white? Strangers talk to me way less in the Bay vs when I was in Canada (I'm east Asian)

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 1 points 3 months ago

Yeah, and also granted the area he was visiting was a fairly bougie vacation area on the coast.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

this depends on where you go and what you're expecting. The way I've always phrased it is like:

  • People in the south are polite, but not nice.
  • People in the north are nice, but not polite
  • And people in the pacific northwest are somehow both nice and polite
[–] ihaveibs@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

Disagree on PNW lol, Portland and Seattle are some of the most passive aggressive places I've ever been too

[–] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah hard disagree on the PNW. The west coast is extremely passive aggressive. They're neither nice nor polite, they're just couching their rage under maybe-later-kiddo passive aggression.

[–] HexbearGPT@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

yeah more like cold and unfriendly hahaha

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

People up north are not nice from my experience. People in the south are far nicer I think.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I grew up in the South so it's just what I've experienced

[–] Othello@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

lol same maybe im just biased

[–] SuperNovaCouchGuy2@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

Every american male ive met irl has ranged in personality from arrogant annoying fuckwad to detestable racist piece of putrid shit. Americans of other genders were ok.