I mean it's pretty much the cycle whenever men have legitimate issues about something in the cisgender heterosexual dynamic. (So glad I'm not a part of that). From my observations, it starts like this:

1- Someone asks men why they don't do X thing or why they think in a Y way. (In this case thinking that such a compliment is backhanded and insulting)

2- Men answer why. (Explaining why they view it this way)

3- Some women who don't like the answers, proceed to shame and try convincing the men into believing they're the ones wrong, or acknowledge that it's a legitimate issue but deflect the blame by saying "not all people do this".

4- Guys see no reason to do or think any different than before and their beliefs are often reinforced. (Gender polarisation increases between men and women).

5- Go back to number 1 and start over.

It's literally the same cycle over and over.

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago

Yeah as a (mostly) het man this is a toxic dynamic I've encountered. I had one partner straight up say to me (paraphrasing a bit) "well I experience emotions more intensely than you so you have more a responsibility to be sensitive to me than I to you".