Didn't have a chance to write up a detailed post, either on a fruit or the topic I was originally thinking about. I think they're neat and they taste good.
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Hung out with a few friends from work today. Was mostly nice but def felt like the odd one out at times. Of course, I was the only... "male bodied" person in the group and only out to one of them. She was also the one who said I'd be the person out of us to sit in the passenger seat of the Uber because the driver was a man. I guess I get it since I still look like a guy, but didn't feel great though.
I hope my HRT starts working better soon. I don't want to play act at being a girl and that's what it feels like I'd be doing if I tried to socially transition in the state I'm in.
Wtf that was kind of a shitty thing to say, trans people are more at risk than cis people. Your friend has some work to do and has gotta stop seeing you as a dude-lite. You're a woman
It's weird because there's a few different layers to it. I am very much still dudely from an outside perspective (effeminate in some ways, and I have had the rare malefail once or twice in the past couple of months, but nevertheless 99% cis passing), so ostensibly the uber driver is not going to creep on me in that way. And I have put my friend in an unenviable position where she can't treat me like a girl publicly because I'm not out to everyone else.
But I also know I tend to allow deprioritization of me and my feelings for the sake of maintaining the vibes and not imposing on others
Mood
Didn't you already socially transition?
Uh, like halfway.
I'm out to my friends and family but not really in public.
Also, I still feel like I'm play acting even tho I'm out, but... I spent a long time trying to avoid the awkward and embarrassing parts of transition. I wanted to hide in my house until I was a perfect girl, then come out.
But it doesn't really work that way. I've got to just deal with these feelings because it's part of the process. So here I am play acting! But one day, I won't be
Sorry I'm just bein' nosy and rude. Yea that makes sense and is kinda what I thought your situation was.
I want to do that forever
I know it is and I'm sure you're doing good
Asking people questions like that isn't nosy or rude π€
I feel like this fear has paralyzed me for so long and I donβt know if anything will be good enough for my brain
ngl offering you up like that seems shitty to me.
I mean, we're all play acting at being whatever gender; cis people too even. Gender is a performance, it's gonna take practice no matter when you start and no matter what you look like when you start. Why not start practicing now?