i'm harvesting a great crop of jelly beans today
it's my birthday this week and you have to post a lot okay? :^)
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There are people who as soon as their egg cracks they are out and proud and idk how they do it
At some point i just couldn't bear boymoding any longer, it was a fucking nightmare. I honestly don't get how people who live in a just averagely transphobic area can stay closeted once they've cracked for real. Like, on an abstract level, i get it, i get when people want to at least get rid of the 5 o' clock shadown first n stuff, avoiding the hypervisibility and all that, i'm also absolutely not judging anybody, but i honestly do not understand on an emotional level how so many transfems can stand letting literally everybody misgender them every single day. At some point that made me just snap, i had to come out because i was tired of screaming internally.
I mean it absolutely turned me into a recluse.
Like you said tho, I kind of wanted to have things sorted first with hormones and presentation, etc.
To me the idea of saying “hello, world. I’m a woman” when your presentation is still very male caused/causes me a lot of psychic damage and dsyohoria.
i can either be an out and open, clocky as fuck trans woman
or i can be a very sad awkward "man"
i'd much rather be pretty and passing, but I don't have that option yet. maybe i'll never get it. oh well. but given those two option, why on earth would i pick the second?
I guess I’ve come at this from being a kind of cigarette-y boy, so I partially had an outlet for my femininity and never really felt like a man.
So that status quo was more comfortable to me than claiming womanhood for myself when I felt like the world wouldn’t see me as one (or I myself fully)
It depends on their particular family/social/work/societal circumstances, I think. If you know everyone in your life will be supportive and the society you live in is moving in the right direction, there's really no reason to hide it. I totally understand people living in reactionary countries/regions being terrified of coming out. Conversely, if you grew up in a big city with out visibly trans people walking around, it probably won't seem like a big deal.
Idk I lived in a pretty progressive area with this stuff and I still couldn’t bring myself to come out for awhile