this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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it's hot. also i'm growing cacti from seed which is new to me and i'm excited, a few of them are sprouting now. how are you?
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I hope I'm doing this right, sorry if I'm not
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So my egg cracked about a week ago, my partner has been really supportive and I am so much more emotionally available, which is obviously great. Though 20 years of pent-up stuff has me crying every time I think of how greatful I am. I'm posting because I want to get used to talking about being trans since I definitely have a bunch of internalised transphobia (yay...) and I think talking about it will help normalize it for me.I do have a few supportive friends that I want to tell, but it still feels kind of cringe..... So if anyone could, I would be so happy to have someone ask a few questions.
ask a few questions or answer a few questions?
Sorry I meant ask me a few questions. I don't really know tbh lol. I'm just trying to find a productive way to work through my anxieties.
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For example just saying I want to use she/her pronouns is hard even though its true. I've been taking baby-steps towards presenting more femme, pushing myself up to and slightly past my comfort zone but in safe spaces.
I'm a tired millennial and really don't want to keep waiting until someone finds out or I'm 100% ready. I have too much else to do. I do have an appointment with a therapist, but I don't want to just wait until then to try and work through my stuff
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One thing that seems to be true of trans femmes around our age that came out after adulthood, is were all very good at denying the things we want and depersonalizing. You've probably had a life time of self denial where those neural patterns are very worn in. You will have to learn to want the things you want and let yourself feel it.If you want others to use she/her pronouns - tell them! Keep presenting femme, wear a skirt, a dress, wear makeup, grow your hair. Take HRT! Voice train (please by all that is holy, start ASAP. You might feel embarrassed or have a hard time starting, do it and start training - I swear passing is like 80% voice training)
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Omg the first sentence is very true lol. Like I was wearing femme clothes in private, and only bought things that I could most easily hide under mens clothing, or were super cheap and not something I had (like I had one dress so I wouldn't buy another). Now that my partner knows, its so hard to look at clothes and think whether or not I like it, since I got so used to just having whatever. And when dressing masc my whole life, I never really liked anything. Come to find out, apparently I looked weird in mens clothing lol.
I've tried make-up a few times, and would take pictures. Its when I started tearing up and thought "wait, am I hot?" that I realized I had to do something instead of hiding. And luckily I have great hair :) I have even been cat called which was a weirdly mixed experience. I wasn't even really presenting femme, just bent over in my garden...
Thank you