For example just saying I want to use she/her pronouns is hard even though its true. I’ve been taking baby-steps towards presenting more femme, pushing myself up to and slightly past my comfort zone but in safe spaces.

I’m a tired millennial and really don’t want to keep waiting until someone finds out or I’m 100% ready. I have too much else to do. I do have an appointment with a therapist, but I don’t want to just wait until then to try and work through my stuff

Its hard changing when you are so used to hiding things, not just from others, but primarily yourself. So many coping mechanism unconsciously formed. I can't provide much help since I've been taking things far slower than I'd recommend to anyone.

What are the things you are feeling most anxious about? Coming out to specific people? General treatment by public? Facing your own thoughts? Figuring out what you want?

So I'm gen z, so my headspace may be a little bit different, but I'd say come out as soon as you know and are comfortable doing so. It's never too early to come out. You are trans when you say you are. Anybody shaming you for not being femme enough to be out is just an asshole.

For me personally, I started presenting outwardly when the discomfort of hiding myself surpassed the discomfort of the transphobia and stares. I didn't really get much from therapy when it comes to my trans journey, I just kept throwing myself out there repeatedly until it became more uncomfortable to boy mode than to be myself. I still get dysphoria about not passing occasionally, but honestly I feel way better about not passing now than I did a few years ago.

If you want others to use she/her pronouns - tell them! Keep presenting femme, wear a skirt, a dress, wear makeup, grow your hair. Take HRT! Voice train (please by all that is holy, start ASAP. You might feel embarrassed or have a hard time starting, do it and start training - I swear passing is like 80% voice training)