this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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How does one convince themselves to be happy with being trans? Because I hate this shit and I have no idea what to do
How do I change my own opinion authentically?
I grew to love my trans'ness by meeting and being with other trans people irl tbh π« it's a lot easier to love urself when u realize the people I love and r very attracted to r just like u
anyways t4t is truly wonderful :3
Every interaction I've had with other trans people irl, both platonic meet ups and dates, has been awful
damn im sorry that sucks :(
I have no idea, I love being trans!
Chances are the stuff you hate about being trans are actually all the societal oppression and costs rather than the actual state of being trans. It costs a lot, yeah. Some people can be dickheads about it, yeah. Government puts up a lot of roadblocks, yeah. And of course, there can be real danger.
But none of those are inherent to transness. For me being trans is about joy! Gender euphoria. Finally being yourself. Watching yourself become who you've always wanted even before you were able to articulate it. I still wake up happy I'm a woman every day! All the bad stuff is just as real but it's just not a necessary and essential part of being trans - there were plenty reactions to what we call being transgender today all throughout history, and a lot of it was quite good in antiquity or before colonization here in north america.
Yeah a part of it is other people reactions and perception of me but I hate the most is the dysphoria. I've never once been comfortable in my own body, I feel shame looking in the mirror, I hate every part of my body. HRT has done almost nothing for me looks-wise. It got rid of my acne but beside that I look exactly the same as the day I started years ago, except for now I actually take care of my hair so it's not a greasy matted mess anymore.
If FFS doesn't save me it's over
Makeup can help and so can doing a bit of brow shaping (like you can shave your brows a bit so they curve your forehead, it softens the look up there), I hope you get FFS soon!
How long ago did you start?
I've got no money no insurance FFS is years away
Started mid twenties and it's been a little over 2 years now
Oh yeah, bangs are also a trans cheat code (just like any belted jacket or belted dress/top). They're annoying to maintain but... they can make your face look femme!
2 years is when you should start noticing changes for sure, might just be taking longer. Make sure you're at a healthy weight - I know a lot of rail thin trans girls that get upset they aren't seeing fat redistribution but, cmon girlies, you need the fat from somewhere for it to redistribute lmao. You could try weight cycling gain 10 to 15 pounds for a bit, go back down, gain again etc the E will do its work at putting it into the right place. If you have pics of yourself for your own personal timeline from 2 years ago you might be surprised how much you've changed, it's harder to notice when you're living it day by day. I didn't notice my lips had fucking changed shaped and became fuller for example, that's pretty subtle.
I hope you get FFS sooner :( I dunno, maybe one of those random great aunt inheritance where you get a cool $60K for no reason?? I just hope you do. Face dysphoria sucks.
My hair is the one good thing I've got going for me and is the only reason that I pass once in a blue moon (that is until they hear me speak or observe my mannerisms for too long)
I tried gaining weight and it just went to my gut and nowhere else. I took a picture of myself day 1 on HRT and I look at it every now again and cry, it looks just how I look now just disheveled
All my family hates me for being a removed so there's no way I'll ever get any inheritance
Oh you beautiful creature, wish I could actually hug you. Such pure trans femme sadness, breaks my heart.
I hate people touching my body so that'd make me feel worse but thank you for the sentiment
I don't know if this will help, but here's a tumblr post with some trans people describing how their transitions took a lot of time. Several people in the notes saying how they didn't pass at 2 years on HRT. I also hope that you can get FFS as soon as possible. (cw for a bit of saneist language in the post)
got to wait 14 years to be me what even is the point
Alternatively: cool stuff will always be happening with your body on mones
Also I knew the HRT CHANGES END AT 36 MONTHS thing was bs.
For me, it was the same thing batsarerats said. Loving other trans people, even platonically has helped me love myself. If you are having a hard time meeting trans people, I recommend joining an org or going to local protests and talking to people. I've found we're really overrepresented in those spaces, at least around me.
The one time I went to an org meeting nobody else was trans but there was a terf who was rude to me so I didn't go back to a second meeting
I'm really sorry to hear that.
Itβs hard. It really is. Transitioning is a very difficult experience. It takes a lot of courage to begin and a larger amount to keep moving forward. I will say though that it all gets better. Everything takes a large amount of time, but eventually life just gets better. Once you start, you starting ticking down on that clock to where you become the true you. And reaching that goal I imagine is the sweetest nectar in the universe.
How long do I need to wait to live my life? Another 5 years? 10? I first started questioning half of my life ago, have known for sure for a third of it, I'm most of the way through my twenties and have missed out on countless life experiences. When does it get better?
It gets better once you can live for yourself and start having those experiences. Once you get to that moment in your life and can truly be you, it makes all the pain and toil to get there immensely worth it. Just keep trucking. You can do it.