this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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If you had the opportunity to go perma stealth, never get misgendered again, never have anyone know, would you?
Can I take this opportunity and then loudly, angrily yell about being trans anyway? Like wear a jacket that's just the trans flag colours? Cause I'd do that. A magic no-misgender button sounds great but I'm not gonna shut up and be invisible.
Same, if I looked totally cis and passed and no one I know could guess I was trans - I'd still wear a pride pin and talk about my life pre transition lol
Big agree
I wouldn't, I can't give up being trans. one on hand it would feel like running away, and on the other hand my closest friends are all trans. there are definetly times where I want to be accepted by society at large but i wouldn't take that if it would mean giving up transness
Love this, thank you for expressing my exact thoughts on the matter.
This entire play of thoughts hinges on the idea of taking out the absolute worst part of living stealth, the fear of being found out. Be careful with that kind of impossible hypotheticals, they will end up harming you.
Being trans already fills me with so much fear what's one more fear on top of it all
These impossoble hypotheticals trap you in that fear. You focus on a goal that is irreal, They cannot exist and have never even been a possibility.
By focussing on these you, almost necessarily look away from actual real happiness. It prevents you from actually being happy about being trans, being proud abd upright. It is playing the wrong game. You are submitting to cisnormativity.
Slightly related. I once made some post about that gender button question(press it and you will always have been a cis person of your preferred gender), and how it's premise is stupid.
Pressing the button would, if it were real, be more akin to a kind of suicide, than to a solution tjat would help me, the person who is asked that question.
You are missing the foresst for the trees, make your happiness on your own term, instead of anyone elses. This is, of course, far easier said than done, and something I struggle with myself. We live in a dociety, and safety as well as economic concerns will always be a concern.
I want to comment in support of this reply, it is so good โค
Thanks, I thought that it might have been too much, and almost deleted it.
give me one reason why not
It's basically like going back in the closet, the entire purpose of my transition is to be my authentic self and i can't be that if everybody thinks i'm a cis shit. I'm not judging anybody who lives stealth, there's legit security concerns in most parts of the world, but i seriously loathe having to hide my transness.
Also this scenario may include the absolute nightmare of me never meeting my trans friends and never getting to experience t4t dating.
Trans people are better than cis people on average, so its cool when they make it easier to find them. Also, being too awesome of a person is enough reason to be clocked as trans, so you'd have to be less awesome to be stealth. (/mostly joking)
There is no reason, I'd go stealth if I could
Not even sure what that would mean for me? But I guess?
Yeah hits different for non binary and gender fluid people. Actually being gender fluid and being able to have magic stealth body would be dope...? Cause like you'd pass however you feel like presenting that day
Would be even more interesting if someone wanted to present one way and be perceived in another. Or if you wanted to be perceived differently by different people (like, you want men to see you as a man and women to see you as a woman, so you can be super-gay).
I think I still identify with (transfem) agender (my journey of gender identity started with "agender, but not trans", but part of that was denial/coping mechanisms preventing me being more honest with myself but still worry I cling to the label out of secret internalized transphobia/transmisogyny/etc)? Honestly, think one of the things I least like about the idea of changing my body to be more like I'd like it is that men are often treated more as a "default" gender and therefore less gendered, so I worry a bit about being more strongly gendered as a result. So a magic that just made people just not gender me at all and think that's normal for them would be cool.
probably not? but like, maybe. i'm scared of being hatecrimed is the thing, otherwise definitely not