would you rather

Second one easily. I used to be a selfhating dork who wanted to assimilate 100% but that shit is so fucking lame. I wanna get gendered correctly but I have 0 desire to blend in or anything. It always makes my day whenever I see someone with like a pronoun or trans flag or whatever, and it would be cool if I could give that back to someone sometime. ~~except once this person approached me while I was looking over a rack of DVDs basically staring at me and when I looked up they were like "Hi I was reading your hat!" Yes I have pins all over it but I fucking panicked and ran away holy shit sorry~~

I really desperately desire to feel a sense of community anywhere at all though so I don't really wanna hide or be invisible.

i'm torn between my identity being a foundational part of my personality and just wanting to forget about it when i'm out.

Given that not forgetting about it when your out in this fuckin society can be exhausting and strenuous, I don't think this is actually a contradiction? In a good world you could do both, imo.