this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2024
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uhhh uhh umm, wait, you see it's for my girlfriend, she is very straight, we're both entirely straight and she exists and she wanted me to buy some clothes for her
Surprisingly gender conservative clothes seller: "Sorry but if you were 'straight', you wouldn't be buying any clothes. You'd be mowing the lawn and watching football. You have been sentenced to a ten hour documentary series on MMA for your crimes."
If you were straight, sir, you would faint at the mere sight of fabric that soft!
that documentary? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DoaUyMGPWI
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
That said if you do have a girlfriend you can shop together pretending your looking for her, but actually for you, giving the experience of a frisson of excitement from it's conspiratorial nature. Plus other people nearby just think you're a good partner.