this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I wish I could leave my house without feeling intimidated by everyone I pass madeline-scared

CW: internal transphobia prollyI live in constant fear of other people's judgment
That men will think I am some gay weakling who should be made fun of or beat up
That women will think I am some gross fake whose attempts at femininity are pitiful and insulting
That children will be afraid of me for being a guy
That old people will think I am some removed corrupted youth
I am in this limbo where I fear being too feminine and not enough

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Yeah, relatable... doomer

content warning: descriptions of transphobic incidents in public, lamenting over the state of terf island, pretty doomeryAnd it doesn't help when some random chud actually proves you right.

It's been really getting worse and worse where I live. The amount of transphobic incidents in I've been put through in public reached its peak during the week leading up to the election here on terf island, but it hasn't let up that much, and it wasn't that much better before. It's reached a point where every time I leave the house I expect something to happen, and 90% of the time, I'm proven that I was right to worry.

One time I'll just be on a walk in a park when some guy starts pointing and laughing at me and then pulling the sleeve of his (I'm assuming) wife to show her the amusing person he just spotted. Another time I'll get filmed on the train by a white woman traveling with her teenage daughter, using her rose gold iphone. Just a few days ago someone started yelling "he's dangerous! he's dangerous!" while I was waiting at a bus stop.

My pro strat is to play loud music on my earphones, don't make eye contact with anyone and try my best to pretend nobody is hatecriming me right now while hoping that nobody will actually attempt physical violence. I feel completely pushed out of public space through these kind of behaviours from rando agent smiths and I don't feel comfortable in any irl trans spaces because I'm too enby or I'm too autistic to actually feel comfortable there and I'm so so tired of trying.

Extremely isolating; this shit kills people, I really hope I can take it.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago
[–] Luna@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sounds horrible, TERF Island is a nightmare.

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago
[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

desolate

spoilerI have no idea how I'd be able to manage that.

I hope you can though meow-hug

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I literally mostly just stay inside, but it is really breaking me.

content warning: a little more terf island bullshitAll of this sucked extra hard when I was homeless and had to hide from pop-in landlords while staying at my friends', which was already overcrowded and mouldy asf

xi-plz ukkk

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have already stayed inside for far too long distress

spoilerThat sounds awful. Death to landlords.

[–] sneak100@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

cuddle I hope things get better.

[–] magi@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Fuck terf island

I'm sorry its like that where you are

ukkk

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

me too

That men will think I am some gay weakling who should be made fun of or beat up

I'm not gonna lie, this is my primary motivation when I lift weights and practice kickboxing. I want to make sure that if anyone tries something, they'll pay for it. I won't let myself get gay bashed.

This route isn't for everyone, but it makes me feel more confident when I'm presenting femme in public.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't have any delusions I could beat someone up even if I worked out and trained.

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Well, then consider going the true girl route. Lots of women are scared of men. Carry a taser or pepper spray.

Or learn to run fast lol

[–] ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i saw a woman on tiktok recommend spray paint or wasp spray. much better at stopping assault than pepper spray

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I doubt wasp spray would be useful, but spray paint would certainly blind. Probably best to use bear spray because it propels a long distance, usually around 30 feet. Though its honestly probably better to just get a self defense spray that sprays a longer distance.

Bear spray / long distance spray + run fast would be best option. Kite tactics

[–] ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

yeah the wasp spray was prob bad advice. but the spray paint hurts, requires medical assistance, and is easy to identify the assaulter if you need to file a police report

also isn’t bear spray already super long distance?

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 5 points 1 month ago

Already have some... mom got all of us it for Christmas? I think for my brother and I, it included a mount to attach it to a bike?

[–] ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

it gets better comrade. stay safe and best of luck cat-trans

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 5 points 1 month ago

A bit relateable. Definitely have some anxiety about any sort of presentation outside the norm and being around strangers. Haven't even had any bad experiences (except when I cosplayed, there were certainly a lot of people who seemed to think I choose to cosplay as a female character cause "haha, being guy in dress is funny", but like they didn't actually intend any harm and I didn't feel threatened by them.