this post was submitted on 15 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] NeptuneOrbit@lemmy.world 174 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I would leave a comment but I'll be busy (with a girl, you wouldn't understand)

[–] stepan@lemmy.cafe 47 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I would upvote your comment, but I'll be with a real girl (I don't expect you to understand it)

[–] lud@lemm.ee 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I would read your comment, but I'll be playing Factorio (I don't expect you to understand it)

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[–] ricdeh@lemmy.world 159 points 6 months ago (1 children)

lmao this is too good, I would laugh but I'll be too busy (because I'll be meeting a girl, not that you are really going to understand)

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 54 points 6 months ago

A REAL ONE!

[–] TxzK@lemmy.zip 122 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 148 points 6 months ago

(you wouldn't)

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 110 points 6 months ago
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 87 points 6 months ago (1 children)

48 hours later

"Hey fellas."

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 6 months ago (3 children)
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[–] elxeno@lemm.ee 75 points 6 months ago
[–] bquintb@midwest.social 71 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

I know this is an unpopular take...but I'm cheering the guy on. He obviously needs to get laid. Like, really bad.

[–] CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think he needs to fall on his face first, to lose the entitlement and degrading behaviour towards his (up until this point) friends.

Then when he learns he can have another attempt.

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[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

for the girl's sake I hope he doesn't

(assuming it is not satire, but it probably is)

[–] Land_Strider@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

For all of our sakes, I, too, hope he doesn't.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 69 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Must be so nice to know girls in real life.

By the way, I use Arch.

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[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 52 points 6 months ago (3 children)

What's that? Another copypasta hot off the press? Don't mind if I do tyvm!

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 43 points 6 months ago

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. l'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where l am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again l don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, l have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone

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[–] RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de 49 points 6 months ago

Sounds like he doesn't understand.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 43 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If she’s in to condescending pricks, it’ll be a perfect match!

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Assuming she exists in the first place

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 39 points 6 months ago (2 children)

She totally does, she just goes to another Discord. I wouldn't expect you (an obvious virgin) to understand what it's like to have Real Human Girls be interested in you, but she's real (a real girl and also definitely human) and she wants him. She's just offline right now or she'd prove it.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah she’s on Discord Canada

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)
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[–] StaySquared@lemmy.world 34 points 6 months ago

And then.. the next day he will be back on discord for hours on end for days on end.

[–] Tixanou@lemmy.world 32 points 6 months ago (4 children)

guys... call me crazy but... I think he will be meeting a girl

[–] Asudox@lemmy.world 36 points 6 months ago

I don't understand.

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[–] Maeve@kbin.social 31 points 6 months ago (6 children)

This whole thread was awesome. Thanks, feddies! Sincerely, a real female (way too old to call myself a girl, but in threads like this, I feel like one!)

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[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 31 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 41 points 6 months ago

I don't think he does, too busy meeting up with a real girl

[–] dyedbird@lemmy.world 23 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Napoleon Dynamite reporting from the Internets...

[–] cryostars@lemmyf.uk 9 points 6 months ago

More like kip, but yeah

[–] unreasonabro@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] lars@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ugh if my

gay-ass

gay ass

had had

Discord in 7th grade, this is exactly the kind of bullshit propaganda I would have used to cover for myself

[–] fishbone@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

Honestly this was so weird to read because of the line breaks, but it would have been way harder without them. Thanks for looking out!

I hope your gay-ass gay ass had had a great day.

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[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hello guys today I just had very hot sex(not gay)(with a woman) and it was pretty fun I fucked her pussy(because she is a woman) and she said she enjoyed it a lot(with a female voice because she is a female). Anyways losing your virginity(to a woman) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a woman).

[–] uis@lemm.ee 9 points 6 months ago

You know, it makes me only think otherwise.

[–] force@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone

[–] Asudox@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago

What in the fuck

[–] Holzkohlen@feddit.de 18 points 6 months ago

I had a short phase like that in my early teens. I hate you for making me remember that.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is this a mother's day post?

[–] The_Tired_Horizon@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

We all know his Mum.

Ahem. 😅

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Took her forever to get here from Canada.

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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

(not that it would help)

[–] Maeve@kbin.social 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Your posts are the ones most likely to warm my heart, make me smile or even literally lol. This one did all three. Thank you, my friend. <3

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 29 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Ha, thanks! I'm just trying to do my part to add content to the fediverse.

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[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 16 points 6 months ago
[–] The_Tired_Horizon@lemmy.world 12 points 6 months ago

I've met several. Would not recommend. Cooties, I believe you Yanks call them.

[–] kromem@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's sweet she came in from Canada to visit him.

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