this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I welcome the Haitō Edict but I call upon the Daijō-kan to go further.

[–] theposterformerlyknownasgood@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

We used to have fox hunts. But now we have sword hunts, because of woke.

[–] Posadas@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They're taking away your sword as part of the trans woke agenda

[–] theposterformerlyknownasgood@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Sword hunt is the new term for vaginoplasty

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

this dumbass thinks ninjas will follow laws lmao

[–] memory_adept@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

they probably have better access to the ninja monopoly anyways

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Man TERF island really wants a disarmed populace doesn't it

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 32 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Under no pretext should ninja swords be surrendered. Any attempt to disarm the peasants must be frustrated, by force if necessary.

[–] theposterformerlyknownasgood@hexbear.net 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Disarm the shinobi, surely?

Rise up you burakumin, you have nothing to lose but the honor of your ninja clan.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

England is still more or less feudal and medieval on a legal, cultural, and psychic level.

[–] Ciel@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 3 months ago

the comments are so racists lmao

also ninja sword bruh

[–] Stoatmilk@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago

Yvette "Toyotomi Hideyoshi" Cooper

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can't own nunchuks

Can't own ninja swords

Good luck dealing with the Teenage Mutant ~~Ninja~~ Hero Turtles

[–] ziggurter@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Don't worry. Next they'll ban pizza as a Centrism™.

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wow he's really trying to drive what remains of shopping malls out of existence.

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

he is declaring war on toledo as well

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Do you think they were originally talking about banning swords, but then some consultant told them it would lose them votes with guys who have like replica lotr swords in their houses, and is there any way we could do this a little more racistly?

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The venn diagram between guys who have replica lotr swords and guys who have katanas is going to be a near circle

Much more likely it's to protect people who still have like, actual swords that their grand-grand-grandfather-uncle used to stab poors with or whatever. I mean it is england

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago

near circle, because I have never quite been able to justify throwing down cash for a katana even though I dearly want one.

Much more likely it's to protect people who still have like, actual swords that their grand-grand-grandfather-uncle used to stab poors with or whatever. I mean it is england

there was a case where three guys with guns broke in to some dude's house, the dude pulled the ancestral sword off the mantle and fought them off, and was then prosecuted for, idk, knife crime or whatever the fuck Brits think the law is. Absolutely wild. Probably a corner case, but it was just unbelievable to me. There's no castle doctrine or unlawful use of force or duty to retreat here, the guy was outnumbered and the assailants had fire arms. I simply cannot imagine anyone looking at that situation and saying that fighting for your life was unreasonable or criminal. I really hope it was just a made up sensational tabloid thing or something, I can't imagine how utterly crushing it would be to survive such a horrific situation only to have the fucking Monarchy drop the book on you.

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

*and Wales.

Scotland and NI are different when it comes to law.

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

*and Wales.

guilty by association

[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] plinky@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

nothing personnel, anjin

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 3 months ago

Ugh, the bakufu fuckers (bakufucks?) are banning good weapons again. Here's nice compedium of alternative things to use:

[–] axont@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

Proper Shinobi use the delicate art of poisons, kojustsu, rather than the brutish swords

Keir Starmer becomes the first British Prime Minister to introduce sword hunts.

[–] TraumaDumpling@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

'ninja swords' aren't even a real thing in history (much like with the 1-handed medieval flail mace, or the concept of 'chivalry', it was more or less invented by early unscientific 'historians' and writers romanticizing their past for usually nationalist reasons) so maybe they are just obsessed with keeping swords historically accurate lol

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 8 points 3 months ago

"Wouldn't happen to have a straight bladed short single edged sword with no hamon and a square guard now, would ya? That's a crown offense, you're get an ASBO lad. It's katanas or nothing."

idk if I'm doing England, Australia, or the US Midwest there.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

only fools study the blade, anyway. my sixth demon poison dart technique has always been the ultimate martial power. the streets of Slough are MINE.

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Luckily I invested in pirate swords. Parliaments are now battlefields. Brings my French "74" alongside Westminster

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You've got to be fucking kidding me. I take it back. Gun violence is cool. 40k dead every year is a small price to pay to avoid whatever is happening on Terf Island. I am sitting here with a kabuki dragon cao cao memorial addition deathstabber right now so Keir Sturmer fuck off.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I seriously think we need to investigate what is happening in the minds of euros that they've effectively removed weapons from their society and have little or no violent crime but they still feel the need to expand arms control regimes to the point that simple pocket knives are considered a serious threat to public safety and order. There's something happening there. There is *psychology".

[–] Lerios@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

its middle class suburban paranoia, the 24 hour news cycle, and racism, thats it.

i've recently moved to a large city from the countryside and my grandma is terrified of me getting stabbed. no one she knows has ever been stabbed, but it's on the news so it must be happening every day. its just what those hoodied youths get up to. the thing is i'm the only young person i've ever known who carries a knife - i always have, i'm from a fucking farm. it's a knife that's literally illegal in my country, we just don't have cops nearby.

the real kicker: SHE gave me that knife when i was fucking 13

doesn't amerikkka have something similar about how every street corner in detroit/chicargo/wherever is swarmed by teens who are Definitely smoking fentynol? its those same PMC delusions, but with violence instead of drugs. if ALL violent crime were eliminated, the news would just turn to some other shit to rile people up over.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

I remember a period in American news history where, every night, for at least 20 minutes, for months or possibly years, there was a segment on the dangers of salmonella in the kitchen, salmonella cultured from samples in a seemingly clean kitchen, salmonella here, salmonella there, salmonella everywhere. I guess nothing was happening that year. But whatever the news is trying to scare people with, I always think about all those salmonella scare segments from when i was a kid.

doesn't amerikkka have something similar about how every street corner in detroit/chicargo/wherever is swarmed by teens who are Definitely smoking fentynol?

Yeah, we absolutely do. All the white boomers living in the suburbs that surround all our cities are terrified to go in to the cities because they think it's constant guerilla warfare with roaming gangs of murder-thieves. They really, seriously believe it and the fear is real. It's bizarre and absurd. They live in this firmly entrenched delusional world created by the 24 hour news cycle.

Meanwhile there's less violent crime in the US than at any point in the last, idk, 50 years.

Something I think about a lot, under one of the law codes in "Viking" Europe, apparently slaves were legally allowed to carry a knife of a given size and use it in self defense even against free people. That just sticks with me - Medieval slaves were allowed to carry a knife, trusted to do so, it was considered normal and unexceptional. Knives are one of our oldest, most important tools. The idea of free people being forbidden from carrying a simple knife under threat of being thrown in a cage strikes me as irredeemably perverse.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

This a new NWA album?

[–] sawne128@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I hear ninja swords have ligma.

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] sawne128@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

bofa deez swords ha! gottem!

[–] reaper_cushions@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It’s. It like kitchen knives are that much harder to kill with. Or Screwdrivers.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

Look in to England's knife laws. There are no hinges of any kind anywhere near them.

[–] commiecapybara@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

From the wording, they're banning short ninja blades / ninjatou specifically, but they've said nothing about other weapons like shuriken, kunai, naginata, yari, or any samurai sword (uchigatana, wakizashi, tantou etc.) thinkin-lenin

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

I'm pretty sure any object with one or more acute angles is already banned under UK knife law.

I cannot get over the idea that many European countries do not trust adults with knives.

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago
[–] Thordros@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They're starting this nonsense, yet they've been dragging their feet for decades on the shark people menace.

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[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago

I kinda respect the commitment to the bit.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wait is this real? Did I get owned?

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

uk is not a real country, so you decide

[–] NewAcctWhoDis@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Fuck community notes

Ninja swords already count as ‘made’ offensive weapons under existing legislation. This plan would not affect knife crime. https://www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/outlines/knives-and-offensive-weapons/ https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/offensive-weapons-knives-bladed-and-pointed-articles Many Police Officers feel disempowered to use existing powers — IOPC reform, supporting Officers & increasing prison capacity would be more effective. https://x.com/brick_cop/status/1790827221092884616?s=46&t=-o1BMr5VYXRKeeJwEAT0BA

And fuck this guy in particular https://x.com/Brick_Cop/status/1790827221092884616

Until there are ramifications for being in possession of an offensive weapon, you can create as many pieces of legislation as you like, but there’ll be no change.

Prisons are full.

Cops unsupported in using their powers to stop & search.

This isn’t going to achieve anything.

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