this post was submitted on 18 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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[–] LilDumpy@lemmy.world 39 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

It's got all the elements of a proper salad

  1. Sad iceberg lettuce
  2. Small diced white onions
  3. Pickle chips
  4. Brown goop
  5. Red

Seems about right to me.

[–] MacNCheezus 8 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Brown goop is not normally part of a proper salad AFAIK

[–] guyrocket@kbin.social 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] MacNCheezus 4 points 6 months ago

I think those are diced tomatoes, but jokes aside, adding some color other than white or green actually IS quite a good (and therefore common) way to make it look more appealing.

[–] TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What is vinaigrette but brown goop

[–] MacNCheezus 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Vinaigrette doesn't HAVE to brown but I suppose with balsamic being the only version that's really known in the States, over here it generally is.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Where do you live in the States? Because we've got red wine vinaigrette, strawberry vinaigrette, raspberry vinaigrette, and cider vinaigrette at some of the different restaurants around here.

Not at Waffle House though. I thought they only had ranch and Caesar. Maybe light ranch at the fancy ones.

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well in that case, two out of those for are definitely not brown but more reddish in color, and the cider one is probably pale yellowish I would guess. But there's also such as thing as white vinaigrette, which can be made either with white balsamico or champagne if it's fancy, or just regular white vinegar if it's cheap. I've rarely seen those in any restaurant, however, but to be fair I don't really eat out all that much. Don't think they come prepackaged as often as those other types do.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I may have just misread you. I thought you meant that balsamic was the only vinaigrette we knew about here haha.

And while I'll joke about this abomination, I'm like 90% sure someone else nailed it when they said it was steak sauce.

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I honestly forgot that the fruity stuff even existed because like I said, I don't eat out much. And when I do, I tend to avoid restaurants that would have it, because more often enough it's just a cheap gimmick for the ladies (and probably factory made, loaded with corn syrup and sweeter than candy).

Basically, I have so little respect for these two variations that I refuse to acknowledge their mere existence and would not even think about ordering them unless they're guaranteed to be fresh and homemade.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I got a dragonfly in my salad from Wawa the other day

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I found a hair tie in my $3 cup of coffee today... that was a first.

[–] cleanandsunny@literature.cafe 27 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is funny, but also fake - unless this person was truly pissing off the cooks! Their actual salads come in little wooden bowls and look like salads. You can image search it. They give you packets of dressing and everything. I’ve never ordered one, but eaten with friends who had dietary restrictions. They never got a plate this hateful, lol.

[–] MacNCheezus 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

I took your advice and found some pictures of actual customer reviews, and it appears that you are indeed correct. While they might not all be the most glorious examples of salad craft in the world, they definitely look edible and miles better than what the Facebook OP would have us believe.

Please enjoy my selection:

[–] cleanandsunny@literature.cafe 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for posting images, I couldn’t figure out how!

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago

No problem. You're welcome.

[–] hdnsmbt@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

But they're not called Salad Hut! How can they possibly make good looking salads?

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago

I’d say average to decent looking salads. But the answer is, because Facebook OP apparently is either a bundle of sticks as usual, or perhaps, as others have suggested, did something to seriously piss off the cook.

Or maybe they tried ordering it during the post bar closing time drunk rush and this is all they had left in the fridge.

[–] SonicBlue03@sh.itjust.works 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

If it's any consolation, the Salad House offers some pretty crappy waffles.

(Salad House not affiliated with Salad Hut)

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well, you wouldn't go to Red Lobster just for their burger, although it does in fact look a lot more appetizing than this thing.

[–] MrBusiness@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 months ago

I'd like to try a crab cake burger/sandwich.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 10 points 6 months ago (4 children)
[–] MacNCheezus 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm assuming that's supposed to be the dressing, but it looks suspiciously like BBQ sauce if you ask me.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I get diarrhea that looks like that after I eat too much beef jerky.

[–] MacNCheezus 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Haven’t you ever drunkenly ate six packs of Big Chief and spent the next day regretting your life?

[–] MacNCheezus 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm gonna confidently say no to that because according to my research, it's a Canadian brand and I've never heard of it or seen it before.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Makes sense.

I spend time in Alberta and Florida.

[–] MacNCheezus 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

From what I hear about both of these places, that seems very appropriate for someone with your username.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Alberta is pretty much Florida and Texas mashed together with free health care and snuff.

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That is indeed precisely what I've been told about it.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It is as glorious as it sounds.

[–] MacNCheezus 2 points 6 months ago

I'll take your word for it but I probably won't come to visit.

[–] Neato@ttrpg.network 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just be A1 for the steaks they have.

[–] pressurized@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago

that or worcestershire

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Can't have a salad without brown gravy.

[–] eerongal@ttrpg.network 1 points 6 months ago

My money is on the brown goop from the grill's grease trap.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 months ago

You can picture the guy squirting the dressing on that salad.

Plbbbt

Plbbbt

Shakes bottle

Plbbt..plbbt..

Order up!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

There's a "fancy" restaurant down the street from me that serves the same salad for $30.

[–] MacNCheezus 6 points 6 months ago

I would hope for that kind of money they'd put a little more effort into the presentation.

[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I didn't even know they had a salad. And if I'm being honest, I'm petty surprised anyone would actually order it...

[–] MacNCheezus 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Pretty sure almost ANY restaurant will have a salad somewhere, even if they're 100% carnivore focused otherwise, because there's always that odd vegetarian that shows up out of nowhere and refuses to eat anything else.

Same goes for burgers, apparently. Even Red Lobster and Olive Garden have one on the menu, presumably for those awkward family dinners involving grumpy teenagers who didn't want to be there in the first place.

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Waffle House has a bigger menu than most people realize, you just have to actually request a full menu. It's actually on the fine print on the menus.

I only know this because I worked absolutely awful shifts and the only place open when I got off was either Waffle House or another diner, so I spent way too much time with coworkers at both.

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

wait...people go to waffle house sober???

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

After 10-13 hours on the factory floor, I don't know that you'd call any of us of sound mind or body.

But lemme tell you, at that particular point of 3:20AM, knowing your week just hit the halfway point without counting OT, that waffle was a gift from the heavens.

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 2 points 6 months ago

Oh trust me, I know...

[–] orangeNgreen@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago
[–] generichate1546@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 6 months ago

I mean that's an A++ salad at Waffle House