this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2024

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100

My pp is plastic. (hexbear.net)

submitted 5 months ago by Yuritopiaposadism@hexbear.net to c/news@hexbear.net

43 comments fedilink hide all child comments

https://www.cnn.com/2024/06/19/health/microplastics-human-penises-study-scli-intl-scn-wellness/index.html

all 44 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] WorkingClassCorpse@hexbear.net 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP LOOKING FOR PLASTIC IN MY GENITALS

[–] ItsPequod@hexbear.net 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

[–] booty@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

well because a functioning dick and balls are kinda important to the continued existence of our species and they're just hanging out

should probably check in the ovaries too but those are a bit harder to check up on

[–] Hexphoenix@hexbear.net 31 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to make a joke about a dude having a chance with lesbians by comparing a plastic filled dick with a dildo but no matter how I approach it it just ends up way more offensive than it is funny for like at least three different reasons sicko-no

So instead I just bring you the remains of this aborted joke and say "imagine if I were funny"

[–] Meh@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Wow, what if that

[–] Hexphoenix@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

I only speak for the silent masses

Utterly unfunny and proud

[–] CantaloupeAss@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I can do nothing to resolve this problem and I can do nothing with this information so I am just going to continue on as if I had not read this

[+] Goadstool@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

[removed by mod]

[–] Voidance@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Pretty sure the biggest source of micro plastics is tire rubber, ie it must have been affecting humans for the better part of a century now but no-one can point to any actual effects from it. People haven’t stopped having erections. Obviously it’s not good on a social level but I don’t think it’s anything to especially worry about individually. The media is always happy to scare the shit out of people.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure the biggest source of micro plastics is tire rubber, ie it must have been affecting humans for the better part of a century now but no-one can point to any actual effects from it.

You don't think that there are effects which could grow more severe and more widespread with more of that plastic built up in the environment and our bodies? Sure, there was some of it the better part of a century ago, but we've only been adding to that every single day. The amount of plastic in the environment isn't going down, that's for sure.

[–] Voidance@hexbear.net 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sure. But we are exposed to hundreds of environmental poisons everyday. None of them can hurt you as much as spinning yourself out with anxiety worrying about them.

[–] booty@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago

None of them can hurt you as much as spinning yourself out with anxiety worrying about them.

Actually, several of them can definitely hurt you more than "anxiety" associated with recognizing their danger

[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

thanks c*rs

[–] Meh@hexbear.net 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Damn, it's hella sick that ancient tree and dinosaur goo turned out to be a madness rune hidden underground just waiting for our dumb asses. Real rad that humanity as a species just speedran our way to Moderan in just a couple hundred years.

[–] Krem@hexbear.net 32 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

what kind of lazy sci fi writing is this where the dominant species increased like 10 tech levels in a century by using some sticky undergroud goop, and they used it both as a combustible fuel, as a solvent, as biochemistry feedstock and to create polymers?

and pretty much all their vehicles are fueled by different versions of this goo? and all of their doodads and doohickeys are made from it? this one underground goo? sure, why not make it a drug that lets you see the future too.

and the economies of entire neo-feudal states are based entirely on sitting on top of this goo? come on.

and the goo is so cursed that it causes Gaia's Vengence on the whole planet? storms and droughts and corruption of the flesh? is this science fantasy now?

i expected better from the writers honestly.

[–] Des@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago

at Drakes Well, the seal was broken

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 26 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Welp. I have no choice but to get rid of it then vivian-shrug

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

I've been wondering if the stuff will go in the plastics or the residual waste bin ever since they found microplastics in balls.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 26 points 5 months ago

we told you to put the oil back in the earth and now, now look! the oil is in your dick! i told you this wpuld happen stairs i-told-you-dog

[–] un_mask_me@hexbear.net 24 points 5 months ago

And will probably stop working soon!

The samples were taken from study participants who had been diagnosed with erectile dysfunction (ED) and were in the hospital to undergo surgery for penile implants to treat the condition at the University of Miami between August and September 2023.

The samples were then analyzed using chemical imaging, which revealed that four of the five men had microplastics in their penile tissue.

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 23 points 5 months ago

frothingfash Yeah well I’ve got MACROPLASTICS in my penis

[–] fubarx@lemmy.ml 23 points 5 months ago (3 children)

How long before they just cut out the middle-men and 3D print you an attachable penis at puberty?

Appstore for penises. Calling it now.

[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Uh, you can’t feel sensation through plastic. It’ll never take off.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Just connect it to the prostate and take it off for going to the bathroom

[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Bud, those are totally different feelings. Not substitutes.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You can't have it all with a substitute and at least it lets you have some feeling.

[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 3 points 5 months ago

A totally different statement, but also one I can agree with.

[–] HiImThomasPynchon@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

No that's not a good idea

[–] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 7 points 5 months ago

If you stop paying your dick app subscription you won't be able to get hard anymore

[–] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

Soon there will be no difference between an actual penis and a strap on

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

even free range cum isnt safe anymore 😔

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 16 points 5 months ago

I just can't stop winning aubrey-happy

[–] What_Religion_R_They@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

they're big particles to me, damnit

[–] newmou@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

Published by “Jack Guy” lmao awesome

[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

1: sample size of 5 lol

2: how are the samples taken

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

1: A small sample size is perfectly fine for the claims their making, which is just that they've detected micro plastics for the first time.

2: It says it in the linked study

Tissue samples were extracted from six individuals who underwent surgery for a multi-component inflatable penile prosthesis (IPP). Samples were obtained from the corpora using Adson forceps before corporotomy dilation and device implantation and placed into cleaned glassware. A control sample was collected and stored in a McKesson specimen plastic container.