this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2024
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got appointed to a position with the federal government with onboarding scheduled to start in about two weeks.

took an at-home THC test after a month abstinent and it was positive

i was recommended for the post by someone I knew and now they're going to look bad to their higher ups

feels bad man

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[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 27 points 3 months ago

Piss, comrade. Piss like you've never pissed before.

[–] Hexphoenix@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago

Drink lots of fluids, piss like a race horse, and go work out. Burn fat. Sweat. Seriously, get out there and run every day. This is still probably doable but you gotta put in some effort

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Did you already test with them?

[–] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago

I agree with happybadger - there's still hope ❤️ don't give up yet.

[–] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

two weeks? and you're sure it's a piss test and not a hair test or something?

beetle, i'll be real with you, imo this is doable but you gotta want it. exercise every day, run, get active, lift heavy shit, go biking, move your body and sweat sweat sweat. drink water, a lot of water but not too much, get that shit diluted af in your system, and piss it the fuck out. the clearer the urine the better.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Is it a witnessed test? Fake urine has worked well for me if not, using a brand called Quick Fix. You just have to keep it taped to the inside of your thigh for a couple hours prior to testing.

[–] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

Oof, those are the worst. You might still be good two weeks out so it's worth taking a chance if you heavily exercise during that period.

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

you 2 weeks from now

spoilerfedposting

[–] Chronicon@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

hard agree with the other posters saying you still got this

a month and a half is a long time, and at home tests have high false positive rates. even if its a genuine positive you can test again closer to the date or you can just try to detox for two weeks. just dont overdo it the day before the test and flunk on dilution. I've heard of tons of people detoxing in less than a week successfully

[–] The_sleepy_woke_dialectic@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If it comes back too dilute they just have you come back in. It isn't considered a positive result.

[–] Chronicon@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

Yeah I mean I guess. Still, if you've got weeks worth of time and haven't smoked in a month already, why risk it

[–] Forbo@lemmy.ml 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pound a lot of liquid IV or similar electrolyte supplement. You should be able to dilute enough to fly under the detection thresholds but still have enough vitamin/mineral content that it doesn't get rejected. Had this happen to someone I know who was smoking daily and had a prescription for an amphetamine ADD med, neither showed on their test results.

[–] Blockocheese@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)
[–] krolden@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 months ago

https://www.amazon.com/Herbal-Clean-Qcarbo32-detoxify-supplementl/dp/B005VOZSP2

All that stuff from ref and after is for tracking and.makes giant links

[–] velox_vulnus@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

We need our agents within the government. You shan't fail this mission, @Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net. Your next pission, sorry, mission is to badoonk the chonky water canons into the ceramic orifice. Await for next orders.