Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
🏳️⚧️ Transmasculine Pride Ring 🏳️⚧️
⬅️ Left 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 Be Crime Do Gay Webring 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 Right ➡️
Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades 
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
even more nsfw noodling ft sexual anatomy stuff, bit of trauma
Please don't ever think that there are no worms inside my goofy head. I still gotta get the trowel out now and then.
What for? I've been pretty much staring at myself below the belt this past week, I have new thoughts and feelings about my clit to reconcile and process and think about. On its own this feels weird because I spent my teenage years really hating... that my anatomy did not conform to cis standards, honestly. I mean to be fair I do also dislike not being able to tuck and need to fix that, so young me was not totally stupid, but.
If you remember my last horrifyingly tmi post I was being funny about that one brainworm concept. For a split second however it became unfunny 
I was asking myself 'Yes self, what if I want someone to put their hands on it, in that particular palm-first way? What if I find that enjoyable, huh? What if I like that for myself? What if I think the clit is kinda nice?? Not like I haven't been using vibrators on it for several years, what if it's not bad but good actually? What if I am not at odds with the ways I receive pleasure???'
Myself's answer was a little bit of reflexive revulsion. Not because myself disagrees, but because ✨ enjoying ur own sexual anatomy during sex, the thing, the quack doctor said it ✨
I like me too much to let that get to me, but the fact I even had that reaction is like, wow. The worms go so fucking deep. Disrupted the peace I've been having in my head around this topic, which was unpleasant. And on top of all that I was hesitant to even write this post because of it, so I guess bad webzones got to me in some fashion. It's a battle which is annoying, even after all the time and processing I've spent, I still can't even think 100% clearly about my own body without anatomical pseudoscientific imageboard brainworms creeping in. It's an eternal work in progress I suppose.
Now that I think about it more, a lot of the bottom dysphoria stuff might well have come down to A) weird porn shit and B) all the awful shit with my ex and how that was. She did not see me in a healthy manner that was congruent with how I am now; she saw me as one of those dildos you suction-cup to a wall. Unsurprising that I would have bad vibes after that...
Also wtf stop upvoting my weird honry/sexual trauma mixture posts 
(CW Dysphoria (but less bad this time))
Okay I did just need to give my face a break from the shaving, the stubble is still there but it's the usual barely noticeable amount I'm used to instead of the too much I saw earlier this week.
The dysphoria wave overall seems to have passed and I feel fine again. I'm definitely still gonna try getting new non-electric razors to see how they compare though.
Wait... I Saw the TV Glow is directed by Jane Schoenbrun? They got the TV Glow director to allegedly do the Nevada film?
Several realities are crashing together rn. Source cw reddit
Oh, apparently Schoenbrun quit the Nevada film so uh guess it's over lmao. Quote:
I quit Nevada due to creative differences with cis people. And I’m bummed, but I love that novel and love Imogen. I was so excited to make a restrained Kelly Reichardt–style walk-and-talk movie.
THE FUCKING CISSIES but tbh I did expect this to happen. What the fuck were the higher ups actually thinking?
there should be a device that whenever a tech company executive is about to send an email in which they are proposing a new "feature" that markedly makes the site worse for slight returns. they get beaten to death with hammers
I think “homophobic” should mean “scared of the same gender” which means the straightest guys would have only friends that are girls and so on.
Something I've been wondering about for a few days, do you think men and women have different ideas of femininity/what "being a woman" means (or masculinity/being a man I suppose)? Or do they both have the same understanding of gender/that kind of thing?
It just seems like men and women view things differently a lot (like the way a lesbian vs a straight guy might experience attraction for example). And if they do view it differently in some ways, that obviously makes me wonder if I have a "masc" view of what being a woman is.
so riddle me this my transgender compatriots
why did the us do GWOT and not focus on china? they're just not bright in the USG? they thought they'd won an ideological victory? it seems to me that china only really became powerful after the collapse of the soviet union
also im going to finally grow up and girlmode after 6 years boymodddding
Just finished chapter 7 of Celeste. Pretty game. Fun characters, good story. The only thing I didn't like was the wall climbing mechanics; after years of MMX and HK I can't do wall climbing any other way. I switched to Inverted and it was a little better but there was the problem of feeling "sticky" on walls. But that's just a "me" issue. I'm glad I tried it out. Might try to post-game content some time in the future but for now I'm finished
I want to nap but it's too hot and I'm scared of heat exhaustion 😔
Gf and I worked things out again. I have BPD tendencies and when we're not communicating I try to preemptively break up.
I want to stop doing that.
sex stuff
Anyway, I think we found a way forward with talking about sex. I'm going to ask if it's a good time to bring up things she tends to shut down about and see if we can find time later if not. And she's going to try to communicate via text when she needs space so I'm not stuck in uncertainty.
And this morning we had some sexy time but focused on me. I asked first and let her know we could focus on me and she could stay clothed or not and that I wouldn't touch her erogenous zones unless she asked.
It was nice. Very intense orgasm. Being on estrogen so far has been really affirming when it comes to sex stuff.
done with work for the week 
No real point leaving this up anymore. You will see me in the future, no need to worry.
I’m about a quarter in to Girl Sex 101. Most of it so far is not new, but it’s valuable information anyway. I’m not yet convinced to be a lesbian, but it’s interesting.
I’m not the type to hate if you’re not listening to deftones, there’s other good music out there, but you gotta try em.
